after all this time?

we were such a disaster

Lauren's POV

Lucy and I were walking down the park with our ice creams in hand. So far we talked about how things were these past years. Lucy said she tried music, but then changed her mind and went to art school (so did I).

- Right now I'm kind of in between, you know? Just finished college and don't know what else I'm gonna do

She looks so young, just her style changed a bit. Her clothes are more serious now.

- But what about you? - she asked.

- Well, I'm feeling kind of stuck, actually. With music. Things used to be so simple and so... natural. Now I take months to write a single song

She looked at me. I looked back.

- Have you tried to go to the mountains again?

Lucy was referring to a house on top of a mountain, close to the beach, where we stayed for almost a month. Ten years ago, I guess.

- No, not since...

- Not since us

Okay, there she goes. I'll just change the subject.

- But it's a good idea. You're right, I do write more when I'm closer to nature

I finished my ice cream and was thinking about leaving. Things were getting weird.

- I miss it

She waited for me to ask what but I didn't, so she kept going.

- I miss being with you

- Lucy, you know i'm dating someone, right?

I said it on impulse but... it's true.

- Yeah... about thay, were you in love with her?

I stopped walking and stared at her.

- What?

- When we were together. Were you in love with her?

She repeated and I felt immediately guilty because it's true, I was in love with Camila while I was dating Lucy. It was so fucking shitty of me, but it happened.

I took a deep breath and walked to a seat. Lucy did the same.

- Lucy... that happened so long ago

- So it's true, huh?

I couldn't face her. Yeah, she's really a ghost from my past, scaring the shit out of me like that night when we broke up.

- I'm sorry...

- Actually it's okay. Now there's a reason for our breakup and I can finally leave it behind

She looked at me like that's what she expected. She knew I had feelings for Camila, she just wanted to hear it from me.

- Lucy... we were such a disaster

- We could've worked out

- No, we couldn't. We were a mess, both individually and together. You know that

We were in silence for a moment. Surprisingly I feel ten pounds lighter.

- I was happy with you

Some memories were coming to my head ever since that day I saw her at the beach. Yeah, we hurt each other a lot, but she was always there for me. We were always there for each other. We were everything we had. We figured our sexualities together, we grew up together, we built our identities...

But she couldn't handle the whole famous thing, and I couldn't handle camren. She was too jealous and I had my eyes on someone else...

- We were happy - I affirmed and she looked at me - but too young, too immature and too scared