【Re:Freezing】 | Gray Fullbuster x OC

35. Vanitas

The day we received the news of their death was one of the worst days we experienced as a family.

Mister Silver and Miss Mika came over to the house with Gray.

Karissa was sobbing in Mika's arms.

Pandora just sat on the couch next to Silver with a blank expression.

I sat next to Gray who quietly took in the sight of our broken states.

How was I feeling?

I don't really remember. All I know is that I felt useless and sad when I saw my sisters express their own version of sadness. I could only sit there and observe. I felt like a spectator of a theatre piece.

It wouldn't be long until Karissa began crying in her room as she tried to muffle her cries. As an older sibling, even I couldn't find a way to console her. Pathetic, really.

Even when Gray dropped by to try and help her come out of her room, she'd just refuse him and tell him to go home. He always looked disappointed that he couldn't do anything to help her. But he would still keep trying either way. I'm pretty sure Mister Silver told him not to be too pushy about it because he didn't show up everyday.

One day, when it was snowing, Gray finally persuaded her to come out of her room. I watched from the living room window as they walked together in front of the house, making footprints in the snow. What a boring activity. I could see him talking to her as he walked by her side while she just stared at her feet. I thought that would at least help her in some way. But alas, the wounds were still so fresh and she started crying again, outside in the cold. I could only fist my hand in the pillow I held and watched as Gray hesitantly hugged her while she kept her hands over her face, trying to veil away her tears.

It was around that time that Pandora started asking Miss Mika some lessons on how to cook. I don't know if she cried or not because she usually just locked herself in her room, trying to avoid as much contact as possible. Her case was even worse than Karissa's back then. But even so, I could tell she was just trying to keep herself occupied by cooking because she still looked spaced out most of the time.

And then there was me.

Useless.

At this rate, nothing was improving. We were all still stuck in a pit of devastation after losing our parents, trying to grasp onto whatever we could to keep us afloat.

No one was strong enough to carry on and help us move forward even with Gray's parents helping us.

But someone had to do it. Someone had to set aside what they felt for the purpose of keeping things together. In order to quell the despair that was weighing heavily on their shoulders, someone had to come back and give comfort.

A mirage.

―

I sat in my room, in the dark, at night, sitting on my bed with the blankets over my head. The tall mirror hanging on the wall in front of me reflected my image.

"Good morning." I tried with a lighter tone.

Not good.

"Good morning." I repeated.

Try again.

"Good morning."

Still not good.

I kept trying to change the tone in my voice to make it sound a little less... immature.

"Who wants hot chocolate?"