Chapter 51 - I love You

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Madalyne's POV

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Madalyne's POV

How does it feel when someone you love does something you hate over and over again? How does it feel when everything goes right but then something has to go wrong? Do you feel like something is crashing you down? Who do you blame? Yourself? The person? Or fate?

You blame yourself. You blame yourself for being in the situation in the first place. You then blame the person but cannot stop loving them. Eventually you blame fate for being unfair to you. You then want to go back and undo a lot of things except love.

"Madalyne, love, p-please let me hold you," Xavier's voice breaks as he desperately wants to hold me as I keep stopping him from taking steps towards me. As much as I want to be in his warmth, I can't. I always can't have what I want.

"Ju-Just stay away! You j-just have to sort everything in chaos, r-right?" My breath hitches and lips quiver and tears just don't stop. Is this what my life is going to be like? Full of tears?

"I didn't realize," Xavier looks down, defeated. I can barely breathe here, "But I promise, I won't d-,"

"That's what you said last time and yet you-," Suddenly my eyes become blurry, making me stumble back. Xavier rushes towards me but I push him away, getting out of the suffocating house.

"Madalyne! Baby, please! Just take a deep breath, okay. Please!" I take a deep breath and close my eyes but open abruptly to look at Xavier.

"Don't come near me," I point to him as he nods, keeping a long distance between us. I just need to get away from here. Far, far away but then I realize that we eventually need to talk about something, "Let's talk."

"We don't have to...... you need to rest," Xavier says gently. This is getting worse. I am afraid I am going to say or do something wrong. I can't think of anything right now.

"Just talk!" Maybe I can calm down listening to his soothing voice but I don't want him to know that.

"Fine.....I do own other businesses....," He trails off. It makes me hesitant to ask him about his other businesses. But I need to know.

"Like what?" There is a hint of curiosity in my voice. Silence falls as he looks down.

"Underground fighting....," His words make me feel like I misheard. Fighting? Fighting is something I never liked. Maybe it's because I have seen a few happening right in front of my eyes- because of me- including the one just happened.

"You are joking, right?" I stare at him. I hope he is because I don't know how I would react.

"No... I –fuck- I know I should've told you before but- but I didn't want to lose you....," Xavier mutters under his breath. So he hides things from me because he doesn't want to lose me.

"And what other things are you hiding....from me?" I whisper the last part.

"I- am not hiding. I was waiting for the right time," I stay silent as soon as he said that. I don't know what else to say. I feel numb with a stinging ache in my heart.

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