chapter 28

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A.N*TW alcohol*

it's annoying not knowing what's going on with her, she always used to tell you what's going on but she hasn't said for a while. it's monday though so you'll get to see her.

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4th period.

you've been dreading it but also looking forward to it, we'll looking forward to seeing her, you want to, you i need to know what's going on.

you walk into her class and she's there but she looks distant, and the atmospheres cold and unsettling. unfortunately you have to wait till after class to talk to her.

the anticipation of talking to her nearly kills you, the stress, the nervousness and the happiness.
'hey, you doing ok?' you ask unsure how to start the conversation.
'yeah i'm fine i've just been busy, also sorry i can talk for long i have things to be doing'
you stand there shocked, never once had she told you you could stay and chat.
'i...ok fuck that, what's going on... you're being all distant and basically avoiding me, so tell me what's up?'

silence.

'i... i may have sort of....' she stutters out,
'sort of done what?'
'i may have gotten involved with someone else' she flinches at the sentence leaving her mouth, clearly worried of your reaction, yet to her surprise you do nothing, just process what she had just said.

'who?' you ask so coldly she slumps back into her chair, guilt ridden and laced with shame at her careless actions.
'you know who miss clara is?'
'oh isn't she engaged, that makes the whole situation worse, how could you, why did you?'

'i don't know, we were just doing some things in the lounge and things escalated...' her head dropping down to her hands, fiddling with the rings she's wearing.

'i'm leaving, after all you've got things to be doing havent you, maybe a certain someone to be doing hmm ?'

as you leave through the door you give her one last glance,
'i really thought i was special to you, guess i wasn't, was it all just a game to you?' at this point you don't even notice the tears streaming down your cheeks, or notice how it's started to rain, or how hurt she looked.

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your house isn't a home anymore, the rooms so foreign. the only person you had left in your life had gone and done something bad. you don't even know what to do with yourself, what do you even do after what had happened.

so you drink again, you know it's not right and just down right stupid but it's all you have left, it's the only thing that's there for you right now, you don't get shit drunk but drunk enough to forget the pain.

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tuesday, you have a headache from drinking again and you have her again, you take some aspirins and hope for the best for the rest of the day, but you're unprepared to see her again, the thought making you feel physically sick.

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schools gone painfully slow, her lesson comes around and you're not ready to see her, you pull your hood over your head as you enter, looking down, avoiding looking at her but you feel her eyes following you to the seat you choose. you sit as far away from her as you can, in a corner tucked away from everyone.

she knows you're avoiding her but can't blame you.

you spend majority of her class just doodling on a piece of paper, she keeps saying your name to try and bring your attention back to her, well the lesson but it doesn't work so she gives up after about 4 tries.

everyone starts to leave and so do you, seeing no point in sticking around. she doesn't stop you or say anything just sadly watches you leave. as you're leaving you see clara walking towards the room you just left and you're immediately filled with rage, you hope it's strictly work related but knowing your luck it's probably not.

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you're home again, alone again, you secretly hope she makes an effort with trying to get you back but nothing, she's probably too busy clara to do anything. again you resort to your new bad habit,

drinking,

it's all you've stated doing.

unhealthy yes, but do you care, no. the best thing you had going for you fell apart, and now you're falling down a hole you don't think you'll ever get out of again, but that doesn't even sound bad to you anymore, as every second goes by, you get number to the pain.

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22:39, a loud knocking makes you stumble towards your door, you open it to find someone standing there.
your eyes are to blurred to make out who it is.

'do i know you?' you ask curious of who's at your door at this time.

'we found your parents' the person informs you and you sober up almost instantly.

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