Amazed

Chapter 32: Heart wide open

Y/N cleared their throat as they heard her response. They'd been half hoping she had fallen asleep so that they would be able to back out of it. The pause after their question caused Yelena to lift her head to look up at them, "Why?"

They met her eyes before glancing down at her lips and then running their eyes over her face, taking in every inch of her beauty. Being this close to her face again created a burning sensation in the pit of Y/N's stomach. All they wanted was to tell her how they felt, but why was it so hard?

"Hey," She started again, "Why'd you ask?"

Yelena had looked up to meet their eyes but laid her head to rest on their shoulder as she continued to look at them. 

"I-I um.." They started. Jesus Christ, Y/N, just say it. Just fucking say it, they thought, "I wanted to tell you something that's been on my mind lately."

Her eyes glanced down to Y/N's lips, lingering for a few seconds before looking back up to meet their eyes, "Okay."

Y/N looked down to their lap and took a deep breath. Telling her how they felt meant that there was no going back, but it didn't take long for them to realize that it didn't matter anymore. When they looked down at her, all they could see was the woman that they wanted to spend their life with.

They hadn't known each other long, barely a month to be exact, but the connection they had was undeniable. Everyone at the compound could see it clearly, even Wanda who definitely wished she wasn't aware of their feelings for Yelena.

"Alright, I'm just going to say it. I don't know how it'll sound or if any of it will make sense, but I'm just going to try my best," They stated.

Yelena smiled as she looked up at them, "I love when you ramble, lay it on me."

They grinned back down at her. She had them wrapped around her finger and she didn't even know it.

"When I held you in my arms back in DC, when I thought I lost you, I felt like time stood still. When they boarded you onto the jet and I watched you fall unconscious, I broke. I completely lost it. Losing you..." They trailed off, "Losing you would've been the hardest thing I'd ever have to deal with. I don't know if I could have handled it honestly."

Yelena smiled as she continued listening to them ramble. When they got into tangents like this, she never liked to interrupt because she found it endearing to watch how they struggled to find the 'right' words.

"And then when we were on our way back, I had a talk with someone that... you're not fond of," They started as she leveled her eyes, knowing they were talking about Wanda, "But she asked me something that just clicked. It clicked in my mind. It was like 500 train tracks were finally able to meet and form one track."

She laughed at the metaphor that Y/N tried to create with the image in their brain, "She asked me if I loved you," They stated. 

Hearing those words from their mouth caused her to sit back a bit, looking over their face to try and see if she could figure out what they might say next. Anxious to hear, she fell silent as she didn't know what to say to that statement.

"And when I thought about it, when I let myself just fall into the depths of my heart, I found the answer," They said as they pulled her closer, raising their hand to lay gently on the side of her face. The silence that fell between them as Y/N waited to continue wasn't awkward but was in fact filled with so much tension.

Y/N brushed their thumb across her cheek as they looked deeply into her eyes, "It was yes, Yelena. The answer was yes, I do. I love you."

As soon as she heard the three words, tears of joy burned the back of her eyes as her bottom lip quivered. A large smile grew on Y/N's face seeing the reaction on her face from them admitting their feelings.

"Yelena, I love you," They repeated as they laid their forehead gently on hers. 

She leaned in against them, raising both of her hands to meet the sides of their face. As she moved their head back, she glanced between Y/N's eyes and lips while taking in a deep breath.

"I love you, Y/N," She responded before pulling them in to crash into her lips. The two were tangled in a kiss that burned with such great passion it could've lit the compound on fire. 

As she kissed them, Yelena's arms found their way around Y/N's neck as she pulled them in closer. Their kiss grew stronger as their mouths opened slightly, allowing their tongues to graze each others softly. Before pulling away, she sank her teeth into Y/N's bottom lip.

Looking up at them to catch their eyes again, a smile as wide as the ocean was painted across her face. She looked over their face trying to take in every single inch, "I love you, so much," She said again as the tears that had previously been making their way up finally began to fall.

"That's what Nat told me to tell you, actually. I'd been thinking about it, but everything had been so messy lately. I didn't know if it was smart. I didn't want to give you the wrong idea if I wasn't ready," She said before pecking another light kiss on their bottom lip.

With their arms now around her waist, Y/N pulled her in close again. Her head was now back in the crook of their neck as they tightly embraced her. 

When they pulled back, she started again, "But..."

"Ah fuck no. No buts! Come on..." They said as they threw their head back on the bed.

She laughed as she grabbed their cheeks with one hand and pulled their face back up to meet hers, "Yes but. I love you, Y/N, more than you can understand, but I'd be lying if I said what happened wasn't still in the back of my head. Even still as we lay here together. I'm just worried."

Y/N went to interject, but she caught them before they could, "I think we should just be friends for now. I want to grow that part of us. The trust, the friendship, all of that. It's important to me."

They swallowed hard knowing that it would be incredibly difficult to only be her friend, but for her, they would do anything, "I can do that. For you Yelena, I can do that."

She smiled at them before pulling them into another kiss. As she pulled away, Y/N's face scrunched up confused because she'd just gone against what they were talking about, "I needed one last one. I needed one to hold me over," She said with a devious smirk.

Their eyebrows raised with the thought that entered their mind, "Oh baby, good try. If I knew it was the last one to hold you over, I'd have done it better. Come here," They said as they placed their hand on the back of her neck.

The passion of this one was just as deep as the first. The two allowed their hands to travel their bodies and pull each other closer, knowing that this would be the last kiss they'd experience together, for now.