𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐈𝐍 | 18+

𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐮𝐬 2

"He's being a fucking prick, Uncle S! It's not fair!" I paced back and forth in my bedroom with my hands gripping my messy wavy hair. "I mean yeah I snuck out but-"

"And cursed him out," My uncle adds with a mouthful of roast. I grumble at the recent memory of the vulgar language I used towards my father. "Don't forget that, he's gonna hurt by that munchkin."

"I know, but...you don't understand! I'm almost eighteen and he still treats me the twin's age. I'm not four anymore – I'm not that soft, sad ten-year-old Esme. I'm seventeen and capable of making smart decisions." I grumble back firmly, trying to push my point across. I felt back for talking to my dad like that – I know we haven't gotten along in a while but I still love him.

"But your lying munchkin," My uncle stood up with a sigh and stalked towards me. I gulped harshly, and looked away from him – my heart beating extremely fast because I knew what was coming. "Look at me, kalamáki," When I ignored him and lifted my chin so that I was looking directly into his icy eyes.

"You're doing them again, yes?" My heart was pounding in my chest and I bit my lip as my eyes watered with fresh tears. Saude sighed resting his head against my forehead, pulling my body into his for a tight hug. "I love you like I love my own daughter, Esme. I watched you grow up through so much shit – shit that your dad and mother have pushed past. I know it's hard for you when you were affected the most but your only repeating history. A dark history that we all want to bury,"

Tears streamed down my face as he spoke – spoke the hard truth which was I was still struggling on how to cope with the past.

"You've got a lot more to lose, Esmerelda. You have a big family around you that cares so much, friends that fucking love you. That shithead of a boyfriend you got. But importantly you've got your own life, E,"

"I-I know. But after all of what happened I just..." I sniffled, inhaling harshly.

"I know, I know, Just promise you'll find another way to cope." He whispered back, still holding my shivering body.

"I-"

Three low knocks were delivered to my door causing me to jump. Saude signed pulling away, looking down at me sadly with a small smile. "You know he's gonna test you right?"

I nodded.

He sighed, taking his palms and laying them on my cheeks, palming them. "Kid you've grown. So goddamn much. And it's fucking scary, Just be careful please."

I nodded again.

He began to walk towards my door, knowing exactly who was on the other side of the door.

"Wait," I muttered causing him to stop. "Tell Mika I miss her, kiss her for me."

He nodded with a soft smile before opening the door. On the other side, my fuming father held the object that would increase my grounding sentenced to at least a year and a half.

He kicked Saude out and just handed me the cup before closing the door. I went to my bathroom and peed in the plastic container before wiping it and closing it shut. After washing my hands I opened my room door and walked back to the bathroom with my dad following. We stood in awkward silence waiting for the test results.

Sure enough just like we knew the results came back positive. My father sighed disappointedly. "What did you take while you were gone?"

"Oxy."

He left taking the test, my phone, and my credit card with him leaving me completely alone in complete silence.

I flopped down on my bed starring straight up at the ceiling boredly. But since no one else wanted to tell my depressing backstory, I will.

After Addy had her overdose a lot of things changed around me. My four-year-old brain couldn't entirely understand all of what was happening. I knew that I saw my mother on the floor with throw-up flooding her mouth and her eyes rolled back, with blood pooling from her head. I later found out she died. But I couldn't process it as others could.

When I was thirteen I pass out in class out in the middle of class after the constant teasing of my absent bio mother and my zombie stepmother. When I woke up I was hooked up to a bunch of different machines in a hospital – my father was worried sick and my mom crying because their sick daughter had arrhythmia.

I continued to have a few more episodes in the next few months until I made them worst by getting curious and taking a pill I wasn't supposed to. Resulting in poor old me becoming an addict.

The whole world knew of my family's history over the last few years and I happened to make it worst by letting myself get out of control – I went AWAL.

I hate myself for it.

𓃠

I sat on the sandy shore of the empty beach, hugging my knees to my chest as I took in the salty sea air. I smiled as I watched the twins walk not far from where I sat, picking up broken seashells. The two girls' wild hair blowing in the wind as they stumbled to keep their balance.

Being grounded for a long time is fucking boring, so that's why I like to come outside and enjoy the fresh air. It doesn't make me feel trapped like being inside does.

"Calabaza?" My father's thick accented voice called out from behind me softly. As much as I didn't want to talk to him for grounding me, I was feeling really guilty. "Can we talking baby?"

I shrugged my shoulders, not wanted to say anything.

He hesitated before sitting down right beside me, struggling slightly to be comfortable considering old age. We sat in comfortable silence before he finally broke it.

"I talked to your mother. She's disappointed but she's angrier at me for how I handle the situation," He started. My heart ticked hearing she was disappointed in me – she's one of the last people I'd ever want to disappoint. "But after thinking it over I was mad at myself as well. It was childish to ignore you, and it wasn't right on how we both handle what happened downstairs,"

He took a deep breath. "But there was one thing your mother was one hundred percent right about — I'll never understand how you feel. How your mind works. How you think. We both went through the same thing – both of us came out of it differently."

"I was only mad because I didn't want what happened to your mother to happen to you," He muttered sadly.

I sighed. "I'm not going to overdose, dad."

"Do you know why she overdosed?" He whispered back, almost inaudibly.

I shook my head.

"The bad man I told you about when you were little...He raped her," My eyes widened. "I'm just so fucking terrified that I'll make the same mistake and not be able to protect one of my girls. I'm just scared, baby."

𐂃

Sad – Yes, but I wanted her to have some sort of back-backstory because I wanted to show how she was affected even years later.