Set My World On Fire (An Andy Biersack Fan Fiction)

Chapter 22: Sick Girl

Chapter 22: Sick Girl

"Babe, do you need to go outside and take a breather?" Andy asked. "You don't look so good..." He touched my back and lightly rubbed it, directing me to the doorway.

"I... I am having a panic attack, I think... oh my god, Andy, take me outside NOW." I cried.

He did as I asked and helped me get to where there was some fresh air. Still to this day I don't remember much after my panic attacks as to what happened during them, or even after it for a long time, some items even a week. I used to have to be on medication. It was really bad, the worst moments of my life.

"A-Andy... I am afraid of getting... Bad again."

"Shhh... Relax babe, nothing here and no one here is going to hurt you, I am here for you now, and I'll take care of you. Don't worry, babe."

Andy's POV:

I did everything I could to help my girlfriend who I love very much. I did everything I could, and she just remained panicky for the whole day, constant panic attacks, even when I took her home. She was getting 'bad' again, which, I am afraid to wonder how bad that really is. I've had anxiety before, and I can tell that it gets pretty bad sometimes. I was scared to death and worried sick. My poor baby girl. My heart was broken trying to take care of her that night.

I took her home, carried her to her bed while she slept on the way and in my arms. She slept constantly the next day, waking up occasionally to eat and ask me if everything was a dream, forgetting what I had said to her, and having panic attacks about three times a day. It got so bad that I had to take her to the doctor. They gave her medication.

For a week long all she did was sleep and ask me if I was really there and if things were a dream. It was confusing because I don't remember myself having that type of thing with anxiety. It was more like I was constantly awake and alert. Still am, with my ADHD. But seriously, she was very, very ill. She was almost out of her mind, it seemed.

She was in a haze, and locked in there and talked about being 'bad' again. I didn't even know she really had anxiety before, and I can tell you that I have a hard time understanding because I have NEVER had it that bad.

This is terrible. Each day I grew more and more anxious, I lost so much weight, and had a hard time performing, for gods sake. I wander myself, she wasn't herself, she want even awake or even alert of anything and sometimes speaker about life feeling not real or a dream.

I took her to the doctor again, and she diagnosed Josephine with depersonalization. She felt not connected to people and that things weren't real. She talked about the world not being a real thing and that every moment since she was a kid was probably all a dream. That everything is a dream. That when she met me and all of these good things happening are a dream, she cried to me one night.

It's hard... It's really hard going through her being like this. I pray to God every night, even though I'm a atheist pretty much, because I am desperate for some kind of shine of hope. For gods sake, we just got engaged!

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Authors Note:

There are different forms of anxiety, and some are when you are all anxious like you would naturally expect and then comes things like depersonalization. Look up the definition of you want but I attached a picture of it in this chapter.

I have experienced all that she is experiencing. This really happened to me. Absolute hell, it is. If anyone is comfortable talking about it or has problems like this drop a comment. I am still recovering from my own anxiety. Would mean a lot to me to talk to some people about it and to help some people out maybe :)

See you next chapter!

Listening to: A Prophecy by: Asking Alexandria

Ughhh, I love that AA song! It's my favourite I think! :D