Chapter 23: Wilting Flower and a Broken Heart
Andy's POV:
Jospehine, still sick. Wondering if she will ever be back to her usual bubbly, amazing self. It's so depressing. She doesn't even want to talk at all. She is totally out of it.
It pains me so much. My heart is broken. I will soon be depressed if I don't get her back to normal. She has to take her pills every day and hopefully she will feel better soon. I hope and pray with all my heart... Wait, here she is waking up now...
Josephine's POV:
I woke up and saw Andy. Or was it andy? Was it a dream? Was all of this a dream? All of what has happened to me? I must be like this because of my panic attack or anxiety, but it just doesn't add up because I feel like EVERYTHING IS A DREAM! It's so frustrating... I am probably never gonna be back to normls again.
"Hey, honey, how are you?"
"Rub my back, Andy, now please!"
I always had to have some kind of physical touch in order to feel close and at one with people. Otherwise, I don't even know that what I am experiencing is a dream. And as his warm, slightly rough, familiar hands caressed against mine before holding them, I finally in that moment felt like things were real. Just for that moment...
Only to be bad again. Probably that's what's going to happen. Andy told me to not think negatively, but it's hard. Everything is hard. Life sucks now. And I know that's really negative, but it's so hard, damn it!
Apparently he's taking me out to dinner tonight. I hope I'm better by then. It's now 3:00. We're going at 5. It's hard to think and remember things that happened, things I'm gonna do and what times it is or even what day it is.
"We're going out for dinner tonight babe, I love you. It'll do you good, I think." Andy said to me. I remember that at least. At least I remember that portion of the day.
Things are hard.
~~~~~~~~2 hours later~~~~~~~
"Come on sweetheart, it's time to go." Andy said, waking me up from my sleep.
"Alright." I responded, dazily.
"Everything is going to be okay, honey, I love you with all my heart." He said. "The doctor said as long as you take your pills you'll be okay."
Hopefully he is right.
"You should take your pill now, before we go."
"Alright."
He handed me the pill bottle and I took it with a glass of water he had already poured.
I lifted myself out of the bed and a wave of dizziness came over me as I stared at my surroundings, the blurry yet intensely coloured view of the tour bus from under the bottom bunk bed I was sleeping in.
He took my hand with a hard grasp and lifted me up into his arms. He carried me all the way out the door, not forgetting to grab his wallet on the way out. He looked so sexy as he leaned to the side to grab his wallet while carrying me. I wish I was back to normal again so things could be the same... I miss our smutty conversations </3
He already had his leather jacket on and skin tight jeans and his hair was slicked to the side with his side shave exposed. He looked really hot, I must say. If I was back to normal, oh man...
He dropped me down on the concrete ground. It felt great to be grounded. It reminded me of control... Control of where I was going.
We walked to Pizza Hut. I demanded he hold my hand the whole walk. He had ordered a cheese pizza between us two. I also ordered a small garlic fingers for myself on the side because I just love garlic fingers. He laughed at the way I ate because I was eating so damn fast!
"You're so cute." He smiled for the first time in a long time, as I have, too.
Did he really say that? Things still feel like a dream. Oh well, I'm gonna just pretend that there's nothing wrong with me and take that for a real remark. It was hard to feel happy over it thinking it was never actually said. This is hell, but it's okay because I know I will enevtually get better. I can remember this happening to me before in my life.... Around the time mom left me, and then I got better... So I should get better now, right?
"Thanks babe, I love you."
"Love you too, honey."
My heart felt warm for the first time in forever. My thoughts melted away, all my questioning if things were real. For a second I felt normal again. Is this a sign?!
And when I went to sleep last night, I demanded he sleep next to me. I couldn't sleep without him tonight, it was impossible. I made him rub my back until I drifted off to sleep, in his arms.
I think I am getting back to normal. Is that too good to be true? Too good of a fortune to imagine? Possibly... Possibly I am getting better...
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Author's Note:
Hey guys! Sorry if the story is repetitive recently. It's because with this type of problem Jo Is going through, it can get pretty repetitive, I can tell you that right now.
It will get more... Exiting ;) soon!
Thanks to all of you reading this you mean the world to me. The support from you guys is great.
Reaching more and more views! Spread the word if you like this story!! :)
Listening to: When Everyday is the Weekend By: Asking Alexandria
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Set My World On Fire (An Andy Biersack Fan Fiction)
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