Deceitful (A Naruto Fanfic)

Chapter 64: Sakura

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"Not that I'm complaining about the hospitality of my host, but why are we weaving bracelets, again?"

I rolled my eyes at his polite sarcasm. Kakashi and I had moved back to the couch in the living room, only he had chosen to sit on the floor against the foot of it. I was sitting on the cushions above him, unable to see his face.

"Although I would say that I've grown leaps and bounds in terms of processing my emotions, I need a safety net. Something to channel my feelings into. You know, so we don't have a repeat of last time." I shrugged, not sparing a glance as I looped the thin thread around itself. I was trying to go for a diamond design.

"Yes, that makes sense. But why do I have to do one too?" Kakashi muttered, his fingers looping the threads together seamlessly.

"Well it'd be weird if I were the only one doing it. And don't act like you don't like it." I shot back, holding back a smile at the situation.

It was Yamanaka-san who had first suggested this coping mechanism when I had still been working at the hospital. It was easy enough to do when I didn't have energy, but was a task that still needed focus. The happy balance had done wonders in curbing my anxious thoughts. The current goal was the same, only now it was moreso meant to ease us into the big conversation to come.

We were quiet for a few moments afterward, weaving our threads in silence. I idly noted how my choice of red thread matched his choice, the movement of his fingers in my peripheral catching my attention. I smiled slightly, shaking my head.

We were always in sync and on the same page, which was probably why the rift between us seemed larger than it actually was.

"I really thought I was helping."

"You made it worse." I replied quietly, unable to judge his expression. His fingers paused their movement before he spoke.

"I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean much when things have been said and done, but I still want to say it." His voice had softened at my admission.

"I think that's what hurt even more-- knowing that you were so convinced that you were doing it for me." I continued gently, urging him to say more.

"I really had thought that it was in your best interest. Getting the gene out of your DNA meant you wouldn't be a target. You would be mentally stable and you could live a life you wanted, not one that was forced on you. I wanted you safe, but more than that, I wanted you to be happy. And I thought I knew what that was."

"A little ironic that you forced this choice on me though, right?" I pointed out simply, making another loop. I wasn't accusing him and there was no bite behind my words.

"Not a little, a lot. I realize that. I think I was so focused on 'knowing' what you needed, that I didn't stop to ask. I made the decision for you because I assumed I knew best and that was arrogant." Kakashi continued his weaving again as he finished speaking.

"To be fair, when weighing the pros and cons of keeping the gene I do see where you're coming from."

I mulled my next words over carefully.

"Now, speaking from a place that is a lot more stable and healthy in comparison to how I was back then, I agree with you. This was the right choice. But it wasn't your  choice to make." I emphasized, making eye contact as Kakashi glanced upward at me.

"I know."

He looked back down as I continued the conversation's momentum. Things were looking good.