stranger things | dick grayson

five

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word count: 1.4k

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Truth be told, Eleanor hadn't been doing so well.

She hadn't broken down yet, and it concerned her. Eleanor was a relatively emotional person, despite never actually sharing her emotions with others and having spent years burying them deep down so she could avoid them. It took her years to understand that emotions made her human and that she should welcome them, however, she still couldn't help but feel a small amount of shame whenever she felt the lump in her throat grow, so she refused to cry.

It wasn't her place to do so.

It wasn't a matter of if she broke down, it was a matter of when, and it was closer than she thought.

+

Eleanor groggily crossed the street and let herself into Dick's building with the passcode he had given her a few days before, along with a promise to be there if she needed him.

She shook her coat free from the rain and took it off as she walked up the three flights of stairs to get to Dick's apartment floor. Once she reached the large green front door, she knocked on it, hoping he was still awake— She didn't like her chances seeing as it was 2 AM.

She whistled quietly as she shoved her hands into her tracksuit pants pockets.

The poor girl had finally fallen asleep a little while ago but had jumped awake with a fright from a nightmare. It wasn't even a nightmare, she just kept reliving what had happened, and it was eating away at her. She thought after everything she had been through, all the loss and pain, she would be fine with what had recently taken place, but she was wrong once again.

The large door opened the smallest amount in precaution. When he saw a soggy Eleanor standing there with a defeated look on her face, he opened the door wider to let her in. He had heard the whistle but still wanted to be sure it was her.

'What's wrong?' He asked her, taking the wet coat from her hands to hang it up.

'I just couldn't sleep. I saw your light on and wanted to see what you were up to,' she said and tucked both sides of her fringe behind her ears, inhaling deeply before letting it out. 'You know how I like to snoop.'

Dick chuckled a little and glanced at her as she stood with her back to him, unnaturally still.

'Because that's believable,' he told her, locking his front door. 'Well, it is but... Tell me what's going on with you?'

He crossed his arms tightly as she spun to face him. He suddenly dropped his arms to his side when he saw that her eyes were glassy, brimming with tears that were on the verge of spilling onto her flushed cheeks.

The painful look on her face deepened quickly as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

'Hey, hey,' he muttered and stepped closer to her. 'Talk to me.'

She took another deep breath before muttering, 'I feel guilty.' Her voice cracked mid-sentence. 'I know I shouldn't but I do.' Dick reached for her hand but hesitated as she sniffled and put her hands on her hips, not even seeing his small gesture that he put a stop to quickly. 'Spays had a wife and two daughters. I have nobody, but he still sacrificed himself for me... I saw them today and they were so nice to me. After I cost them their entire world...' The tiredness was evident in her voice, only causing Dick to pity her even more.

'It was an accident, El...' He was cut off by Eleanor who shook her head.

'That still doesn't make it fair!' She exclaimed but stopped and collected herself. 'Spays jumped on the bomb...' She said in a much calmer tone. Dick's eyebrows shot up. This was news. 'I don't understand why he did it and it's killing me...' She cut herself off to sigh and run her hands over her face.