DM #2: Dean Andrada

Kabanata 28

Kabanata 28

Soleil

Hindi kailanman natahimik ang buong hapag. Mama can't almost move her food while listening to my father's explanation about me and the kidnapping before. She's glancing at me from time to time.

Nasa kabisera si Papa at katabi niya si Mama na kaharap ko. Nasa tabi ko si Dean at katapat niya ang kapatid ko. They're both silent while listening to my father.

Manolo was my mother's highschool friend before. He confessed his love for her when both of them goes to college, but she rejected him. That's the time where my father get in the picture. Hindi nagtagal ay naging magkarelasyon na rin.

Based on my mother, Manolo became agressive after he found out the relationship between her and my father. Iniiwasan na niya si Mama simula noon. My mother doesn't want to assume, pero simula noon ay palagi na siyang nasasali sa away.

Manolo was smart and a scholar since high school, but his scholarship got removed because of those fights. My mother wants to help him, but suddenly, he vanished. He's an orphan kaya wala ring malalapitan si Mama para mapagtanungan.

For years, walang naging balita si Mama kay Manolo. My father concluded that Manolo was obsessed with her, to the point he kidnapped me because I look exactly like my mother.

It gives me goosebumps. Halos hindi ko maisip at matanggap. He didn't treat me like his child, but he never hurt me too!

Muli kong naalala kung paano siya nagagalit kapag sinasaktan ako ng asawa niya. It's because he can see my mother in me! Siguro ay iyon din ang rason kung bakit gigil at galit ang kanyang asawa sa akin noon dahil kamukha ko si Mama!

Ngayon na alam ko na ang rason kung bakit nangyari ang lahat ng bagay, gusto ko na magpatawad. But before that, I want to process and accept everything.

Lahat ng paghihirap sa mga nakalipas na taon ay hindi biro sa akin. It was a ride in hell. Kaya ang malaman na ganoon ang rason ni Manolo ay parang hindi katanggap-tanggap sa akin. But then, the time can't go back even when I wanted to. Tapos na ang lahat at hindi na maibabalik.

Even when I forgive, it doesn't change the fact that I was hurt in the past and still hurting. I will choose to forgive so that I can heal. Forgiving will not change the past, however it will change my future.

I was supposed to start my theraphy before, but I refused. I don't want to be a burden to Miss Eliza that time. Kahit anong pilit niya ay hindi ako pumayag. Even the doctor tried to convinced me that my situation is serious. It didn't change my mind. Kaya ang pagtawag na lang sa akin bawat linggo at exposure ang ginawa para kahit papaano ay mapabuti ang kalagayan ko.

Pero ngayon ay naplano na ni Mama ang tungkol doon. Sa pagkakataong ito, hindi ko na pipigilan pa.

I need to go back to the hacienda for the theraphy. Kailangan kong bumalik sa bahay na nasa gitna ng gubat para sa theraphy. The doctor told me about that before, but I chose not to go back there. It's needed for me to expose myself to the place where the traumatic events happened.

"I will be by her side, Ma'am." sabi ni Dean.

Mama smiled. I looked at him.

"That's good. I will be by her side too."

Dean nodded seriously. I rested my hands on his lap. Napatingin siya sa akin. He's so serious, he can't even smile at me!

Ngumuso ako. Is he mad or what?

"I want to visit Solanna, hijo. I want to thank her, at least, for letting my daughter live in your hacienda."

"She's been asking me about you, Ma'am. She wants to give you a call but she's scared it might disturb you." he answered without removing his eyes on me.