Chapter 17

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Gulf's breathing quickened with a feeling he couldn't describe.

"She......"

He tried to cough feeling like something was sitting on his throat.

The air in his lungs was suddenly not in enough.

"She knew..." he was gasping for air as if he was under water.

He looked around trying to find something to hold on to. He saw Mew approach him but he held his hand in front of him to stop him. He knelt down on the floor with his hands holding him up.

His mother knew. She knew about them. But how... just how... just what did they do to his mother. To that poor soul.

He gripped his chest trying to ease the pain on heart.

Was that why she never cared anymore? Why she worked her ass off to raise his tuition for high school and college all by herself? Because she knew he would be abandoned if something happened to her?

Mew just watched Gulf struggle to breath on the floor. His eyes making a puddle of tears on the floor.

"She saw my text message with him and texted to come out using pho's phone. When I came out I saw her waiting for me." Mew explained.

Gulf sobbed.

He should've protected her. He should've done something for his mother.

Had he known, he wouldn't have thrown a tantrum about it. He would've acted as if he didn't knew. Then his mother wouldn't have died.

She didn't want Gulf to know about it. She had hidden it so well. When she found out that Gulf knew, the shock and pain collided at once causing a medical issue in her body. The stroke hit her left side and the heart was not spared. The vulves pumping blood in her body got frozen too and stopped pumping blood altogether whilst she was in her son's arms.

Just what did they do to his mother?

Gulf got up feeling his throat sore from crying. As he attempted to stand his knees gave up and Mew was right in front of him.

"I hate you." He muttered. "I hate you so much I never want to see you again." He finished and staggered out of the house.

Mew sat on his heels as he helplessly watched Gulf struggle to leave his apartment.

As soon as Gulf left, Mew opened a cabinet and took the strongest bottle of alcohol in his possession. This was what was supposed to happen in the beginning. When they met for the first time this was the confrontation that needed to happen. Not the detour that they took. Not getting his feelings involved. As if his father hadn't hurt him enough.

He sat on the floor against the side of the couch  watching the puddle of tears. He couldn't help but wonder if Gulf was ok. If he was going to cry in his bed. If he was going to get sick like he did last time. If he was going to sleep all day out of it. Would they check to see if he's ok this time?

Damn Gulf shouldn't have let him get his feelings involved. All he could do was worry about Gulf even when he was hurting too. He drank more alcohol straight from the bottle. The burn distracting him from all sorts of pain he was feeling.

Gulf went home his head full of what ifs and had he done this or that,

Quensly was still in the same seat playing with a ring on his ring finger when he got home.

Gulf sat down across him and pulled his hair.

"She knew."

Queenly knew right away what Gulf was talking about,

"I heard." Quensly responded.

"She knew." Gulf laughed, tears pooling in his sad reddened eyes. "If I had known she knew I would've done better."

"She loved you too much that's why she hid it from you. Any parent would've done the same."

Gulf wiped the tears as soon as they fell.

"The shock of me finding out was more impactful than when she found out which makes me the reason for her death." Gulf analyzed.

"Gulf honey, your mother was just not strong enough. It wasn't your fault." Quensly reminded.

"What really happened 6 years ago? I thought I knew but clearly I know nothing." Gulf asked.

"I don't know what happened but when I came in the picture your father was mourning the death of his wife with alcohol. I found him in a bar wasted and he couldn't stop looking at me. I was drunk enough too so he took me home and we had sex. The following morning I woke up to a boy opening the door with a luggage bag. He saw us naked in bed and he just ran out. At first I thought it was you his son because he talked about you a lot the previous night. Only to find out a few days later that it was his lover and he disappeared after catching us."

"What?!!"

They both turned their heads to Donald who stood there with eyes threatening to come out of his socket.

"He caught us in bed? Is that why he left? Because I cheated on him? Queen, you should've told me."

"He was a high school boy Donald. He hadn't written his final exams what would you have done with him?"

"That was never your decision to make. I gave up my marriage because of that boy not because it was a mistake but a sacrifice I made to live my truth. But you just had to come and ruin it for me."

That was Gulf's cue to leave. He went to his room and let the couple argue it out. His father not only gave up his marriage but he gave up his son too. And he was proud of it. Gulf realized he was never going to get the apology he so badly needed. It didn't look like it. The two didn't care about him and it was infuriating.

So his mother died after finding out that her son knew about his father's affair. His father mourns her death with gay sex?

Ok.

Then Mew who had just been disowned by his parents came to his boyfriend's house because he knew already his address. Sees his boyfriend with a man in bed and he disappears.

This was a mess.

He sat on his bed and stared at his door and remembered 6 years ago how he confronted his father. He should've just kept his mouth quiet. He should've just suffered by himself.

The voices of the couple quarreling started getting louder and louder and Gulf decided maybe he needed to go. If he stayed in the house he felt like he was going to die too.

He grabbed his jacket and wallet then left the house. He took a walk. His stomach grumbled and he remembered he hadn't eaten. And with all the crying, his energy had depleted. He felt like he was going to faint. He thought of eating but he didn't feel like eating. Instead of a full meal, he found a snack bar and he got something to hold his stomach.

As soon as he was done with the snack he remembered Chet telling him to call when he was having a hard time and maybe that was what he needed right now.

A friend.

He took a scooter ride to Chet's apartment since it was close. When he got there, he remembered the passcode for his door and punched in the numbers. He walked in and before the shut the door, he was face to face with a naked Chet sitting on the couch and a naked Atid sitting on his lap holding Chet's head possessively. Chet's hands were holding Atid's ass guiding it up and down his crotch and the sounds of sex filled the living room. The door shut loudly and that got the attention of the lovers. They scurried to hide and get dressed but Gulf had seen it all.

Was there anyone trustworthy in his life?

Everyone was full of lies and secrets.

Everyone was gay.

He walked away scathed.

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