That One Eventful Night ✔️

19

"No, Ghaun. You don't understand," I complained, feeling a lump in my throat. "What exactly do you mean by that?" he asked, trying to control his temper. One thing I know about him is that his temper gets the best of him.

I looked away, trying to catch my breath. I never knew the difficulty of fighting for what you believe in. This would be my first time, no, the second time with him. And I wronged God when I felt ashamed of Him.

"You don't understand my view because you're not trying to do so. If you would listen to me and let my words be filtered in your mind, maybe, just maybe...you'd understand." I had finished my sentence before I started to walk away, but before I could leave him alone, I felt a tug in my heart. I needed to explain it to him. I want to. I feel like this is what Jesus was telling me about in my dream last night. I want to help him understand.

"Ghaun, you know what? I may not see God but I feel His presence in my heart." He raised his eyebrows at me, telling me to elaborate on what I was speaking of. "That's what faith is all about. I hold on to Him through my faith. It's not just about believing in Him, it's about trusting and obeying Him even though you don't have a single clue about His plan. And you were wrong about Him. He doesn't demand or request to be worshipped because He naturally deserves to be worshipped. And for your last question, the jealousy that God feels is not the sinful envy that we, sinners, experience. It is holy and righteous jealousy."

I inhaled and exhaled a large amount of air, holding on to the railings. It took me great confidence to speak up about my faith. 

The hospital was never crowded so no one was there to listen to our loud conversation. He looked back at me, took a step forward before slowly leaning in to hug me as I cried in his arms.

Like, why am I even crying?

"I figured out I needed to explain it to you," I sobbed. I felt him nod to my additional statement. "You don't have to. I would've understood your view anyways."

"But I want to"

"Why?"

"Because you're not happy...because you are lonely. God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called. It's in the Book of Mark..." he hummed as I tried to answer his question. There were many verses from the Bible that came to my mind to support my statement. So, I paused and formulated the rest of my answer, and Ghaun was patient with me, waiting for my answer.

"Healthy people don't need a doctor, right? Only sick people."

"If that's not the obvious thing—okay, okay, sorry." he coughed after I hit him, and then he apologized.

"That goes with us. Jesus heals the sick, saves all the sinners, calls the broken and lost. Tell me, why would he save the sinless?" he didn't say anything. "Why would he qualify the already qualified? Why would he save those people who are complete and found? Is there such a need to do so?"

"Jesus is so precious, and I wish you'll get to know him more," I whispered as my hands clutched onto his shirt. 

But I don't want to.

But you don't want to...

____________________

I was walking through the hallway of our house, my mind was floating around the time where I had my Math class. As my mother decided, I was homeschooled, alone, my sisters were at the school now. She said that the lessons are the same with my sister, Adiline, though she's already taking masteral, I thought that the lessons were quite familiar. Then, I realize, Gino taught me the lessons before.

I felt a tug in my heart, thinking of my best friend. He must be dating Elynah now. I haven't skipped a night where I don't think of my family back there. I haven't skipped a day where I don't write about them. However, because I knew that my letters will never reach them, I decided to keep the letters in my drawer. My mother has no intention to deliver my letters, and I do not have a guess why.