Wasted times (Z.K)

🕷Ch.20🕷

(Tabitha)

It's been about a week since everything went down.
Haven't spoken to anyone besides Rachel ever now and then. I would love to say I'm better but I'm not. All I can think about is Zion , Zion this , Zion that.

He goes on tour in about 6 weeks. I'm not sure how far along Kylie is. I'm guessing she'll be at least half way through by the time Zion comes back.
Apart of me is telling me to at least say goodbye when he leaves but the other part is saying no. I also do know if I don't say bye I'll regret it.

But this all could have been prevented if he would have just told me the truth.

(Zion)

"And she won't let you go" Edwin ask "I asked and she said no" I tell him "that's weird" Brandon says "why wouldn't I be allowed . That's my baby too" I rest my chin on my hand "who knows" I say "anything new with Tab" Nick says "not one damn thing" I shake my head "haven't seen or spoken to her since that day" I add "I wanna call her"

They all shake their heads at me "don't" Austin says "she said don't contact her at all" He adds "yeah don't wanna make things worse" Brandon says "it's hard not , I wanna talk to her so bad" I complain "we know but do you really think she wants to talk to you" Nick ask

"No she definitely doesn't wanna talk to me" I realize "shouldn't I text her and apologize" I suggest "what the fuck is a sorry gonna do" Nick ask "not much" I mumble "nothing at all" Brandon says "there's nothing I can do" I say "literally nothing" I say again "all you can do it give her time like we said last week and focus on your baby" Edwin says "I would if I was allowed to go to the appointments" I shout "ask her again"

I look at Austin "she's gonna say the same thing" I tell him "wouldn't hurt to ask" He says "I guess" I shrug "hey but if it makes you feel better , since you are gonna have a baby , we are gonna be uncles" Nick says "does anyone also wanna be the dad" I ask "naw naw" they all shake their heads no.
"This is exciting honestly; think about it Zion"

And I do , I begin to think about a baby. I mean kids are cool. I always say I don't do kids but when if it comes to my kid and I'm great. I'm nervous as fuck to be dad. It came out of know where. I'd be lying if I say I wanted this baby . I do but I don't.

As time goes on I'm sure I'll get more excited but right now everything is going wrong. There's not one time I don't think about Tabitha. From spending time with her everyday and every night to not seeing her . Not only not seeing her but knowing she's hurting badly and it's my fault is eating me up inside. I don't wanna be with Kylie . I will co-parent and be there for my child but that's it.

And if Tabitha still ever wants to be with me again then I won't hesitate to get back with her. She's the love of my life. I wanted her to have my kids and become my wife . I mean that could still happen but it's a lot more complicated now.

Currently the boys and I are at rehearsals doing a couple dances for the shows. "Zion focus" Brandon snaps his finger "my bad" I look at him "1...2..3" we start doing our routine and I just can't do it. "Zion what the hell , pay attention" Nick says "I can't" I say "bro you need to stop thinking about Tabitha for just a hour" he adds "I'm trying"

I sit on one of the chairs "how are we gonna learn these dances if you can't get Tab off your mind" Edwin ask "we have 45 days before tour" Austin says "Come on" I stand back where I need to be.
"Ight lemme show you again"

Then for the next 2 hours we go over more and more dances for tour. "That's it for the day , good work boys" Edwin says "now Zion" he looks at me "don't even" I shake my head "listen we have our next rehearsals on Friday" Edwin says "plus we have time to make room for improvements"

We walk outside and get into the car. My phone starts ringing and it's Kylie "hello" I answer "hey you should come over" she says "why" I ask "because why not Zion" she says "is something wrong" I ask "why would there be something wrong" she ask "like with the baby" I ask "oh" she says "umm the baby is fine but I just want you over" she tells me "I'm just a little sick"

I feel like she's lying but better safe then sorry. "I'll be there soon" I say and hang up "hey uh drop me off at Kylies" I say to Edwin as he drives "Kylie's?" He ask "yeah uh she's not feeling good I guess" I tell him "oh well okay yeah"

I just got dropped off and I walk into Kylie's house. "Kylie?" I call out "my room" I hear and walk upstairs into her room as she sits on the bed "you okay" I ask "yeah why?" She ask "you said you were sick" I say "oh yeah yeah umm im getting better" she shrugs "sit" she pats the spot next to her. I hesitate before actually sitting down.

"You seem nervous like we never did anything before , you literally got me pregnant" she smiles "okay Kylie we get it , you keep saying that" I turn to her "just accept it Zion" she says "I did; I am , I have , we have a baby on the way I know" I say "I would really appreciate if you were more happy"

I look at her "happy? Really? I lost the person I really actually loved because of this and you want me to be happy" I ask "this is really your fault , your pull out game is weak" she says "I don't even know I came" I say "because I don't feel well"
She says "so what do you want me to do"

She looks around "just keep me company" she says "you have company" I say "the baby doesn't count , he or she isn't even born yet Zion" she says "why are you so mean , it's not my fault you didn't tell Tabitha about this" she says "and don't get angry at our baby" she adds "I'm not" he says "I would never I'm just frustrated with everything"

She smiles "well lemme help you" she grabs my arm "no" I stand up "I didn't come here to have sex Kylie , plus I don't wanna do that to Tabitha" I add "you guys aren't together" she says "so? This doesn't feel right. It feels wrong" I say "I either stay here and we do nothing so I'm here to make sure you don't get to sick or I leave" i say

"Just stay" she says "okay then" and I sit on a chair in her room as she turns the tv on and watches whatever the fuck she watches.