if i can't have you || rini au

18. not run out of things to talk about

ricky and nini were seated against the old willow tree in silence. no one has really spoken in about fifteen minutes and it was driving nini crazy... she knew something was up with ricky.

"um...a-are you okay?"

the boy looked up from his notebook as he knit his eyebrows together "yeah, why?"

nini shook her head "you just seem...upset?"

ricky swallowed before forcing a laugh "no, don't worry about it, i'm fine."

nini opened her mouth to ask him again but she stopped herself and took a deep breath "okay...lie down."

ricky looked at her in confusion as he saw her lie back against the ground, facing the sky as she folded her hands over her stomach and closed her eyes

the boy blinked "what are you doing-"

"lie down." she told him again, exhaling deeply as she kept her eyes closed

ricky sighed as he hesitantly laid down next to her, turning his head and looking at her

nini opened one eye as she glanced at him and giggled "don't look at me, close your eyes and just listen around you."

ricky bit the inside of his cheek as he turned his head to face upwards, the sun beaming in his eyes before he closed them

"okay, princess, what are we-"

"just listen." she said quickly, taking a deep breath

ricky smiled to himself as he kept his eyes closed, listening to the birds chirp around him and feeling the sun on his skin. he could hear and feel the light gusts of wind blow around him and the sound of the leaves moving against one another from the willow tree above. it was quite peaceful.

nini opened her eyes slowly with a small smile on her face as she turned to look at the boy, seeing how he became relaxed and comfortable.

she slowly sat up, the motion making ricky open his eyes to look at her finally

"what was this for?" he asked, sitting up to be at her level as he played with the grass

"well...don't you feel a little better?"

ricky looked back at her face full of hope and concern as he felt his heart warm up before he nodded with a light smile "a little."

nini swallowed as she exhaled deeply and looked down "um...listen, ricky," she began slowly "i noticed you were a little upset earlier and i know you're going to repeat that you're fine but i can tell you're not."

ricky bit his teeth together as he closed his eyes and sighed slowly as nini spoke up again

"and i don't want to overstep or make you feel like you have to tell me, but you can because you are my friend and i care about you." she said softly

she waited for him to tell him something, but was met more silence, the girl swallowing nervously as she kept the smile on her face and shook her head

"it's-i'm sorry...never mind, forget i said anyth-"

"it's about my parents." he said shakily

nini stopped and kept her eyes on him intently, furrowing her brows but choosing not to say anything when he took a deep breath

"they're-" he looked up from the ground, staring out blankly as he shrugged her shoulders "i don't know...they're just...fighting. a lot. and there are all these problems that i keep having to hear over and over again."

nini frowned as she felt her heart sink deep in her chest "ricky-"

"no, it's-um-" he sniffled and shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head "it's cool. i'm here most of the time. and there's school. so...i'll be fine."

nini gave him a look "don't do that." she told him "don't push your feelings away. they're valid and important and you deserve to feel something about this. i don't know what you're going through exactly, but...i know that talking about this is important."

ricky glanced at her as she rested her hand on his in comfort

"and i'll be here to listen." she finished, earning a light nod from him

"th-thanks." he whispered

"of course."

the two glanced down at their overlapped hands, slowly pulling away as the warmth and comfort somehow dissipated around them at the lack of contact before ricky cleared his throat

"i-uh-how do you know what to say with this stuff?" he asks interested

nini raised her eyebrows "what do you mean?"

"usually...people don't really say the right things. but you did." he said sheepishly

nini blushed slightly and laughed lightly "oh, um...i guess, losing my father at a young age helped me see things in another way."

ricky stared back at her "i bet you miss him huh?"

she exhaled deeply as she looked down at a pile of flowers growing, bringing her hand to carefully hold them as she nodded "everyday."

the girl shifted in her seat, sighing as she looked up and shrugged her shoulders

"and...even though it's technically impossible, i'm always afraid to forget him." she confessed, "he was a great king, and his portraits and photos are all around the walls of the palace...but-"

when hearing her stop, ricky knit his eyebrows, shaking his head "but what?"

nini let out a nervous laugh, shaking her head too "it's...it's-dumb..."

"i'm sure it's not." he assured her, moving a little closer to her

she glanced up at him, feeling a little more confident in herself and certain as she nodded slowly

"when-when i wandered around the palace, i'd see all sorts of...portraits and pictures of him. and i've listened to all of his speeches for autonia. but...that's all the king part of him. the part everyone else in the world would see. i don't have enough pictures with him because it was crucial i was kept hidden and there was worries they would come out to the public. i don't have home videos either because...i'm not a normal girl with a normal family. i'm afraid i'll forget him one day."

ricky parted his mouth in sadness and he sighed "first; none of it is dumb."

she looked down as he continued to speak

"and second; you're not going to forget him."

nini shook her head "but what if i do-?"

"you won't. because you still have all the memories with him." he told her "i know that sounds cheesy-"

nini smiled at him "i don't know what that means."

he chuckled "adding that saying to teach you to the list."

the girl let out a laugh as she nodded "thank you ricky."

"you helped me." he reminded her

"and you helped me too." she added "i've never told anyone any of this before..."

"me neither." ricky replied "guess we can cross sharing deep meaningful secrets off the list." he joked

nini nodded brightly "well, as my partner in crime, you do have to be good at keeping my secrets."

"i really wish you would stop saying 'partner in crime'" he sighed "i feel like you mean it in a literal sense sometimes-"

nini shrugged her shoulders with a smirk "be careful then."

he glared at her as she giggled, the two laying back down on the ground as she took her phone out "alright, now help me make this account. benjamin usually helps me with these things."

ricky chuckled as he started helping her, the two laid on the ground in the sun as they shared laughs for the entire afternoon with never running out of things to talk about.