his absence was suffocating and torturous. not having a comforting face to look at whenever she turned around or lifted her head.
she'd look around her white, bland room that held no bright, teenage happiness...too scared to open up the boxes and have to see all the memories of the things she'd experienced but could never keep; spending her nights - when not taking care of arrangements for her ball - staring up at the ceiling and barely sleeping.
she couldn't ever form a genuine smile...her mind was always preoccupied with what he was doing right now. where he was. who he was with. whether or not he still went out to the field on his own. whether he was thinking of her like she was of him...
and he was. all the time.
he spent his days at school and the café, staying over at erica's rather than at home...he didn't want to deal with his parents. especially not now that he couldn't talk to anyone about it...or more like he couldn't talk to the one person he wanted to do so.
the days were so much longer...he'd look out of the window to the field and see the willow tree empty, the light gushes of wind blowing through its branches and the grass around it; and no sight of long brown hair flowing in its breeze.
his friends would try and get him to go out, but he'd always turn them down, choosing to stay late in the café after lock up, keeping time to himself until erica would finally force him up into the apartment to get some sleep and rest.
but neither of them actually got some rest.
because they consumed each other's thoughts everyday.
and now a month has passed and nini's birthday ball was tomorrow night.
+
"-how about the movies? the new marvel movie came out today...?" seb suggested, following ricky back from a table of which he had taken their order.
but the boy just shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head quietly
big red and ej exchanged worried looks
"you wanna...come over? we can play fortnight? or call of duty?" the red-head proposed
ricky shook his head again.
"oh! how about we go to a suuuper bad restaurant and you can make fun and rant about how bad it is!" gina exclaimed with a grin, trying to cheer him up
and again, he shook his head.
the group all sighed, looking at one another with worry
"look, dude, we know you miss her." carlos said
everyone raised their eyebrows - even saddened ricky - and stared at the glasses-wearing boy in bewilderment
"what?" he asked
ashlyn grinned amusingly "did you just say 'dude'?"
carlos rolled his eyes "really? that's what you're all focusing on?"
they just shook their heads before looking back at ricky who had taken a plate and put on some new pastries on them, taking them to another table
"he's been like this for a month surely there has to be some way to get him back to his sarcastic, rule-good-boy self." kourtney frowned
"he had to say goodbye and deal with never seeing the girl he's in love with ever again. i don't think a month is enough for him to get over that." ej said evidently
"okay, seriously, where did this wise-ass version of you come from?!" ashlyn questioned in awe, earning a nudge from her cousin
"all jokes aside guys, he looks worn out and exhausted...especially with the whole divorce thing..." seb whispered, all of them sighing before ricky arrived back at the counter to continue working
when erica came into view, her smile faded as she caught sight of ricky - once again - in his mood of being quiet and no trace of bright expressions to be seen from him.
"good afternoon guys," she greeted his friends, all of them smiling and waving 'hello' before she turned to ricky "i have to talk to you about something..."
at that the boy looked up, hesitant as to what she was going to say "...what?" he asked quietly
erica took a deep breath and exhaled "well...i'm supposed to be taking a flight tonight to autonia, for...nini's birthday ball."
at that, the group - apart from ricky - widened their eyes and froze, their gazes on the curly-haired boy to watch his reaction.
"and i have a plus one. which means, i wanted to take you so that maybe you could go and visit her."
ricky's face was blank, blinking a few times as he processed her words before he swallowed and solely shook his head. "no. thank you."
he took ahold of a tray and walked off into the kitchen, everyone exhaling deeply before erica rushed after him
"ricky, come on. it'll be good for you! plus, autonia's really beautiful this time of year." she said with a little smile, kevin turning around to listen
ricky exhaled, stopping what he was doing as he turned around to face the woman again "i'm fine."
"ricky, this is the most you've talked to anyone and everyone in the past month!" she exclaimed heavily "you're miserable. you have to see her. and you also have to tell her how you feel."
ricky rolled his eyes "no."
"why not?" kevin asked, raising an eyebrow as he folded his arms
"because what's the point?!" ricky exclaimed suddenly, frustrated "what is the point?! telling her only to make it more difficult to have to leave again? i don't need that!"
"no, but you need closure. you both do." erica told him sternly
ricky swallowed and shook his head, looking away as kevin and erica sighed
"so...will you come with me to autonia or not?"
YOU ARE READING
if i can't have you || rini au
Fanfiction"𝐢'𝐦 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬." "𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐞." "𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠?" a rini au where the hidden princess of autonia manages to go undercover to a new town for...
