Chapter 3: But I dont wanna feel better

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TW: This chapter contains self harm/sh, if you are uncomfortable with that please skip this chapter :)

☹︎Kokichi POV☺︎︎


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I picked up my phone from my bedside table and turned off my alarm.

Message from Emo Bitch:
Kokichi? Are you sure your okay??.

"What the fuck does he want."
I mumbled and clicked on the notification to reply

Emo Bitch:
Kokichi? Are you sure your okay??.

Me:
Leave me alone, Ive already said. I.AM.FINE.

I blocked his number and swiped my screen down to check the time

"10:00 AM- HOLY SHIT NONONONONO"
I threw my phone back onto the bed and jumped out of the comfort of my soft bed to get ready for school.
I ran into the bathroom but stopped as soon as I seen my reflection.
I had dark black eyebags and my skin was VERY pale.

I'm disgusting.

I slammed my hand down on the counter
"F-FUCK YO-YOU"
I screamed as multiple tears flooded down my cheeks and off my chin.
"I-Ha-Hate myself for th-thi.."
My voice trailed off as I continued to gasp for air.
I kicked open the cupboard under the sink and pulled out a cardboard box covered in dust..

DO NOT TOUCH

I Took off the lid and was greeted by a rope and two knives.

"I- I missed you~"
My breath hitched as I picked up one of the knives
"I mi-missed this feeling... heh"
I hovered the tip of the blade over my wrist and slowly made small incisions on my smooth white skin as I watched the pink liquid poor out of the cuts.

Oh how I missed this feeling...

I made a total of 50 cuts, 20 on the entirety of my left arm and 30 on my right arm.
The pain enveloped my body as I layed against the wall, blood pouring out of my fresh cuts.

I wish I could be stronger.

I sat there for 20 minutes after making my art
I walked out of the bathroom and to my closet and I picked: a plain white tank-top, a black ripped up sweater with white paint splattered all over it,

and pair of white shorts and a pair of knee-high checkered socks.
"This should be good."
I sighed and took off my clothes to put on my new clothes,
Examining my newly made cuts on my arms.

I walked out of my dorm and through the halls, flinching at every sudden movement due to being scared that someone saw me.

"Ouma!!"

I almost screamed as a hand layed on my shoulder and span me around, it was.. Shumai??
"Yeah what do you want?"
I looked at him with a glare and pushed his hand off of my shoulder.

"Well, you dont seem... Okay-"
"I SAID I WAS FINE NOW, DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS ONE MORE TIME?
I.AM.FINE."
He looked at me shocked and walked away.
"J-just feel better soon..."
I heard him mumble.
Why did I have to do that..


᪥Hii! sorry this chapter was really short, I dont really have to motivation to write over 500 words lmao- That, and its 2:05 AM.᪥

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