☹︎Kokichi's POV☺︎︎
I opened my eyes and looked up at Shuichi. He was still awake and smiled at me.
"Did you sleep well?"
"Yah...."
I mumbled before laying my head back down on Shuichi's chest.
"What time is it.?"
"11:34."
"Mm.. okayy..."
I looked around to see everyone watching Krampus on Kaede's big-screen TV.
"You can go watch the movie with them-- sorry for keeping you here-"
I said hesitantly.
"Huh? Are you sure?"
He asked.
"Yeah of course-"
"Okay-.."
I slowly got off of Shuichi, slightly whining from having to move so suddenly, and loss of contact. Shuichi got up and questioned me again.
"Are you sure.?"
"Mhm..!"
Shuichi hesitantly walked over to the couch, As I watched, Kaito started bombarding Shuichi with questions on why he was with me and whatnot.
I mentally scoffed before looking away and sitting in the corner with my blanket.
I Looked over at Kaito who was facepalming at Shuichi, I wanted to smack him but I couldn't. I closed my eyes and held my pillow close to me.
I whispered scattered words to myself, well to anyone listening it would sound scattered, but I pieced it all together in my head.
I hugged my pillow tightly, and I don't know why but I felt like crying. I let myself cry into my pillow, now unable to sleep.
I hated crying when other people were able to see me, it made me seem weak.
I closed my eyes tightly, I felt myself tremble as I held my pillow against my chest.
After an hour or two of doing that exact same thing, and not being able to sleep, I felt a hand grip my shoulder and shake me lightly.
I flinched and quickly turned around, wiping off my tears. Shuichi was crouched there with Maki standing behind him.
I sat up and grinned.
"Eha! What do you need?!"
I yelled cheerfully.
"Stop that Kokichi."
"Huh? Sto-stop what?"
I looked at Maki who was seemingly concerned.
"Stop that."
Shuichi said, gesturing to my fake smile.
"I don't.. I don't know what you're talking about.."
"Ouma stop, stop acting like that, its obviously fake, probably because you're tired so just stop it dumbass!"
I flinched as Maki yelled at me.
"No, why? How do you know its fake? What if its n-not..? Huh? See? Not fake!"
I said as I wiped my face again with my wrist, making the sleeve of Shuichi's sweater come down a bit. I was too scared to notice so I kept my arm by my chest unknowingly with some of my cuts showing.
"So you really did try.. huh?"
"What..?"
"You tried to... you tried to fucking commit suicide what is wrong with you.. why would you do that?!"
Maki yelled, Shuichi glared at her before averting his attention back to me, I was now visibly trembling as I looked down at my wrist. Maki moved towards me and by instinct.. I flinched and covered my head with my arms as I let out a small sob.
"Pl-ease!.."
I backed up into the corner as I stared at Maki in fear, she was now standing there, frozen in place.
I looked up at her and seen her eyes filling with tears.
"I'm sorry."
She said before walking away.
I looked at Shuichi who looked overly concerned.
"Wha..why did you do that?"
"Stop... just stop.. I didn't.. I-I'm not weak.... stop... just.. I-..I'm sorry..J-just....I-I hate..I hate crying..I-infront of people...s..stop-I-I hate pity..!"
I cried as I pulled at my hair.
Shuichi gently took my hand away from my hair and looked into my eyes.
"Kokichi, I know for sure you aren't weak, you're the strongest person I know, I can promise you that, you don't need to apologize for anything, nothing that has happened has been your fault, okay?"
Shuichi said before pulling me into a hug as he intertwined our fingers together.
