Lost? A Tommyinnit Angst Book Bc Why Not😩👌

Dead?

TW! Bullshit, Suicidal thoughts
(Edited)
Chapter two, Dead?
I hope you enjoy and consider voting!
Don't forget to drink water!
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Tommy felt much better today than he did a couple days ago, going out was a priority he had in mind, and when he did it, he did it, he met some fans. That obviously made him happy to see overly excited people from the other side of the twitch screen. He found it entertaining in a sweet way when the only thing they could do was stare in awe and smile awkwardly until he noticed them.

Reminiscing on his amazing experience with those strangers made him chuckle, nothing made him happier than falling into his fans arms for support and dedication. All he could do now to finish off this amazing day was stream.

Tommy mumbled to himself, remembering how his friend's stream pattern had been going. "I wouldn't wanna end up like Techno would I?" He couldn't help but smirk at his quiet joke. Techno had been slowing down his uploading schedule due to dealing with some medical issues, but he recently got surgery to finish the job and was healed for good. Tommy couldn't wait until he chose to hang out again.

Tommy spun in his chair, letting out a quick burst of energy as he adjusted himself in his seat. His hands made their way to the door, closing it behind him before spinning back to his monitors. He smiled as his screen shone a bright white, his fingers aggressively typing before clicking the "start stream" button and playing his spotify playlist all together.

Stream started like the usual with him breaking out a Cola and chilling with the first chatters that showed up by 10s per seconed. He thought to himself as the chat flew faster than he could read, 'I am so glad to be able to have these people looking out for me and making me smile, not everyone is able to have this...'

Tommy accedentally zoned out to that thought and had to snap back to chat.

TommyPov:

"Hermmmmmmmmmmmmm"
I looked at the ceiling at an angle, looking like I was thinking of some great ordeal. I want to do something special today, something different, but not boring... I didn't like the feedback I got when I did that before.

Suddenly, I remembered Wil's earlier streams that he did, one of them specifically being a chat interactive Kahoot game,"Have we ever done a Kahoot? I dunno today's views are low so maybe we could try it?"

I was already on the website when I saw chat type so fast that I instantly put them on sub-only to make it a little less laggy, although that didn't help for those bratty rich kids.

"Hah, that's what you get you evil spammers" it still did help of course, so i continued with the stream plan.

clearing my throat, i made my voice go as low as it possibly could, "Mwahahahaaaahh" i almost choked, but it helped the energy pumping through my body at the thought of doing something new and interesting.

It still did feel necessary though...
I soon stopped the goofy sounds and started up the Kahoot for chat to join.

I was so interested in what chat though of me as a whole. It sounds weird, but their little opinions matter, and it seems like they know their right from wrong.

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The game was fun and we did some quizzes about the DSMP, and after a few I saw one that said 'are you a Tommyinnit fan or hater???' Well, we of course played it. But just, something about the questions hit me in such a way, it was almost confusing...

How would you describe Tommyinnit's figure?

Small, but mighty! big and babyish!

Big & Babyish was the mostly picked AND was considered wrong but most chat decided to ignore it and call it a win...
Just as i thought it would die down, another irritating one came up.

Should Tommy stop streaming? EVER

YES FOREVER NOOOOOO

Again, yes was picked and chat was mad it was wrong. I felt off... My stomach quenched at chat... I had to look away somehow
I was so irritated! I shifted off in my seat in a way that was making me feel small, pointless even. "I- imma be right back chat, okay? Alright..." I huffed and headed into the hall, and into the bathroom, tiptoeing to make sure no ruckus was caused by my clumsy ness.

I latched the door behind me and leaned over the sink, my unnoticed swelling eyes let loose tears fall with the hair that i pulled at with my large arms, everything falling into the... Cigarettes? There were cigarette buds in the sink!?! Gross...
I rinsed them out and then looked at my distorted body.
Did they really mean all that? my eyes swelled at the thought of it. Am I really that horrible looking? I felt the bone at the end of my wrist, it felt like it shouldn't be that out.

My head throbbed when a headache came in to make my life worse. 'They hate me. I'm disgusting.' My dad was right. He always was. He was the one who knew right from wrong.

I held my head and fell onto the toilet behind me. My brother was stupid to even think he could be as smart as him. The day he died, my father might as well been throwing a party he was so happy.

The way my mother compares me to him constantly for following in his footsteps of self pity and deprivation. How he starved himself and wasn't healthy enough to fight the illness that corroded and tainted his frail body.

I miss his smile, and his nicotine-stained teeth. The way his pants always seemed too big on him. The way he'd sigh and shake my hair when we played. The way he- the way he punched me in the arm for cutting myself just as he did. I missed him.

I should be six feet under with him. God- why'd he have to leave my bitch ass here alone??? My sore skull throbbed once more. I pulled a pill or two from the tylenol and swallowed them with a handful of water.

Fuck me, I want to be dead right at this second. If only i could drop right here, right now. Then everyone would be happy.

I haven't thought like this since the stream, since people showed what they really felt. FUCK THEM, FUCK MY DAD, FUCK THIS ALL. Why couldn't i have what i want? Why couldn't i keep my friends close and a happy family? Was it really all my fault? Yes, yes it was. I did this. I slammed my fists into my head and knocked harshly against my skull.

Eventually i stopped and sighed, letting my back flop onto the back of the toilet. I stared at the floor and cried some more.

I should be fucking dead for all that I've done.

"Just... Dead."

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A/N:
Woah 494 words pog! For my first actual story this is amazing!

EDITED AT 852 WORDS YOOOOO THANKS FOR 1K LETS GOOOO

Now has 1204 words!