A Love called Myra: Raj and Meera

Chapter 19

Meera

“W- what?” I said. “Kiss me.” He repeated. Every desire in me that wanted to kiss him burned in my heart. I wondered why he was suddenly so interested in a kiss. I thought he had no such wanting because he was working so much. I stared at him and wanted to pinch myself to see if this was real life. But why should I prove it to him through a kiss? He gave me such a valuable heirloom. How can a kiss match? I sat dumbfounded for a whole minute. “Why are you suddenly interested in asking for this?” He had this dangerous sexy smile on him that I was being drawn into – “have I ever asked you for anything else? Because, I want to know if you will do anything for me freely by your own will. You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now.” “So why don’t you do it?” I asked.  “I want to give you a choice, I’m not going to force you, if you don’t want to then forget it. It’s stupid of me for thinking like this. I’m sorry.” He looked disappointed and he was turning away.

I had finally got to the bare bone of my husband – to the sensitive part and I was pushing him away, what am I doing? Even, I wanted to share my everything with him so why am I stopping myself? This is the man I’m married to. I don’t care about anyone else the way I care about him. I was fighting with myself. The fact that I was raised never to let men touch me was kicking in now. This is my husband, why should I not touch him? He had gotten up. “Raj, you don’t have a meeting right?” He was all smiles again but I could tell somewhere inside he was itching away at the fact that I had pushed his love away. “Haha, I told you that was a lie.” “Good, I want to spend our day together – let’s grab some lunch.” By now it was 2 o’ clock and I was starving. We went to a restaurant nearby. I had my fill of food and then when it was time to have sweets, I couldn’t help myself. I was comfortable around him now. I should’ve kissed him.

It kept bothering me. I wanted to slap myself for not giving in. No one had bothered us at all. It was about three when we were done and we were called to go over with the crew to hang out. We ended up playing a fun game and I was out of breath pretty quickly. I don’t know why I keep running out of breath nowadays. Maybe because I keep thinking about Raj so much. Groan, I’m at it again. I snap out of my own little world and found his eyes staring at me, he lifted his eyebrows as if to ask me what’s up. I shook my head. I could only chastise myself for denying that kiss. The bangle he gave me reminded me of it. I wish I could. His lips were so rough I wanted to smoothen them out. The way they curled up, I want them to curl up over my lips while I kissed him. I should stop, why am I thinking like this? I should be worried about other things. I can’t. I feel so distracted. When he looks at me, there’s something about it that makes us two the only ones in the world.

Jahnavi was asking me what our plans were tomorrow. I told her we didn’t have much planned so she asked me if I’d like to come to a party they’re having. I told her I definitely will. I wonder why Raj didn’t tell me about it. It was about six when we got back to the hotel after having a light dinner. I wasn’t feeling hungry. My feelings were on a rollercoaster and every time I looked at him, I kept hitting a high. I mustered up all my courage as we got back to our room. I sat on the bed wearing my long skirt and jean jacket over the collared shirt tucked into the skirt watching him. I slid the jacket off. I had a bit of makeup on today. I usually don’t wear any at home because I’m home but it was a dash of mascara and eyeshadow and a red pop of lipstick which I normally don’t ever wear. He was taking his shirt off and telling me about this joke Aman had told him but it died off.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked. I quickly snapped out of my trance, “Yes, yeah, everything is good.” “You sure?” “Yeah, um, can I ask you something?” I didn’t know how to bring it up but he came over her built up and chiselled body sitting beside me, leaning in. His musky scent overpowered me. “This might be weird but I don’t mind that kiss now.” This time it wasn’t my eyes that got big but it was his. “What?” Had he not heard me? I want to kiss him. “I said…”  “No, I heard you but I thought you didn’t want to, please don’t do this for me.” “Stop it, Raj! Stop. I’m not doing it for anyone, I WANT to do this. I don’t know why I stopped earlier. I wanted to do it then and I want to do it now. You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to do that so just please, for once let me.” “Okay.” He had that irresistible smile on him again and he closed his eyes. I had no idea what I was putting myself into and how to do this. I was next to the bedside table and I didn’t know how to start. He opened his eyes, “Hey, you okay?”