The Music In My Heart

Chapter 11

Carter's POV

"My poor baby, are you okay? We don't need to schedule an appointment to get checked out?" My mom was worried as she drove us home.

"Yeah, I just need to rest.." I was so tired and sore. My forearms were burning tight.

"I just don't want to repeat what happened last year, I know you love music, but please understand that I'm your mother and I love you more than anything. It pained me when you were under strict orders to not play piano for two months after winning the competition finals. You were diagnosed with depression because of it and I didn't know what was more heart breaking: you pushing yourself like that or seeing you in pain or not hearing you fill the house with music," my mom was about to start crying and I put my hand on her shoulder.

She flinched as to how cold they were.

"I'm fine, I promise. Maybe I won't practice for a day or two and just take it easy.. I know, it's okay to be worried, but trust me on this one okay? Competition was a different category of stress," I sat comfortably in my seat again..

Lord knows competition and exams were brutal when I was attending that private music school. I hated every aspect of it.

The students didn't even love music, they just wanted to be the best. They sounded mechanical. Enslaved to the writing on the paper. I hated that feeling- just thinking about all that I went through for so many years of musicianship. I never want to go to a dark place such as that: not being able to express yourself as you desire, and you're being graded upon your success to imitate another musician's genuine expression rather than find yourself within your creativity.

My last competition was beyond historical in my time in studying classical piano. It was a success story and a tragedy all in one. I may have came in first by a close call but I was severely injured with worn out muscle tissue and couldn't play until I've taken a full two months of not practicing or else- my condition would've gotten even worse.

I wasn't even trying to win- honestly. I just wanted to have fun.

Worst thing about it is, I can hardly what the hell went on while I was on stage.

My teacher scolded me for child's play but it was because of this 'child's play' I ended up going as far as I went. The judges never liked me because I never abide by the sheet music and get amped on adrenaline and go on this soloist rampage creating rifts out of nowhere for a ruse. but I was always the audience favorite performance when it was time to do the ballots. I was number one in picking the crowd's choice to move further in the competition and that last competition, the crowd's vote outweighed the judges authority- everyone lost it.

I was so shocked, I fainted right there on stage as my competitor was in disbelief- Raheem...

"Carter, is everything alright?" My mom interrupted my thoughts..

"I was just thinking about the highlights with last year's competition and Raheem..." I mumbled as I stared out the window.

"Good thing you finished that school and don't ever have to do another competition as long as you so choose. I hated those things- especially with how tensed it was knowing you had the potential to steal the title away from from a four timing champ," my mom sighed in disbelief.

"Potential? I believe I did overthrow him- not even by the books. The audience decided the winner that night..." I smirked reminiscing.

"Let me know in advance when you want to do another competition. I have to mentally prepare myself," my mom laughed and I giggled.

"Don't worry, I won't be doing any of those for a while now. Consider me traumatized," I assured her and unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Good, any other side bar notes I should know about?" And I felt my heart skip a beat..

This was my chance.

"Can we also not do the mentor thing? It's not that I'm not ready. I just don't want to at this moment," I sighed and looked at my mom knowing she's gonna be bummed out that I didn't want this opportunity.

The car was practically quiet and my neck itched with all the tension. I looked up at my mom and she was carefully taking note of me.

"Done and done. Just go rest. I love you and I'll find a way to reach out to Arturo and explain that you're not feeling up to the task but hopefully later on, you'll see fit," she leans over to kiss my cheek before getting out the car.

I sighed in relief that that went smoother than expected.