Princess of Birmingham

Empty

The next day I had calmed down and wanted answers , Finn and I went to the b&b Beth had been staying.

We sat and spoke for hours , I forgave my sister , Beth promised never to leave me again , I seen how tired my sister looked and offered to take my nephew for the day , I didn't usually like kids but I wanted to get to know him , he was so cute , he didn't make strange with me at all and although he couldn't talk he would smile and try talk everyone they passed on the street.

Finn and I brought Jay to the betting shop to meet everyone he walked around  the betting shop entertaining everyone , he danced or at least tried to.

Polly , Lizzie , Tommy and Arthur walked in , Jay greeted them straight away , they all smiled at his cuteness "well who are you" Poll asks as she picks him up "that's Jay my nephew" I say "nephew" Lizzie questions "yeah , my sister Beth's son" I say "i didn't know you had a sister" Lizzie exclaimed "she only recently came back , she was living in Ireland for a little while" I say , before Jay ran over to me and put his arms up waiting for me to pick him up 

"Hello" I say in a baby voice smiling as i pick him up "suits you" Polly said smiling "oh i don't want kids , i can barely keep myself alive" I say , everyone just looked at her , Polly's expression changed from happy to concerned "who needs kids when you have a nephew right" I say trying to ignore what she said.

"What did you mean earlier" Finn asked as we sat having dinner "what did i mean about what" i ask "barely being able to keep yourself alive" he asks "i don't know , you know what goes on in my head" I say "and what about not having kids" Finn asks "what and risk ending up like my father an abusive drunk , i wouldn't risk it" I exclaim "you're not going to end up like him" Finn says trying to reassure me "what about you do you want kids" I ask him "i mean yeah i do" Finn says "oh" I say , what would happen now , would he leave me , would he go find a woman who would have kids with him.

"What about marriage" he asks "i haven't really thought of it" I say "oh okay" Finn replies , we didn't say much after that.

I couldn't sleep , after Finn brought it up i couldn't get marriage and kids off my mind , getting married was nice , her wedding with Oliver was nice close friends and family laughing drinking and dancing all night , i knew Oliver would have wanted me to be happy and get married again , it seemed like something Finn had thought about , he almost seemed disappointed when i told him i didn't think of it.

The next morning i told him that i thought about and marriage was something that really was scary to her after Oliver but she would consider getting married again.

Thomas told me  to take the day off and relax because i worked so hard , i decided to bring Finn lunch , i made him sandwiches and tea.

When i arrived Polly quickly stood up "is Finn in his office i brought him lunch" i say "he's in the middle of a meeting" Pol said not very convincingly before i start to walk closer when i begin to hear groans from his office.

I walked in and saw him fucking some whore "WHAT THE FUCK" i shout "Jayne" Finn said pushing the girl away , i storm off with tears in my eyes "Jayne please wait" he says as he follows me "NO FINN , I WILL NOT WAIT GO BACK A FUCK YOUR WHORE , IM LEAVING" I shout for he grabs my arm , i slap him across the face "LEAVE ME ALONE I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN" i say as i walk away.

I packed my bags and left for London that night , when i got off the train it was raining , i walked to Ada's with the dogs i knock on the door when a boy opens the door "Is Ada here" i ask "who is it" i hear her say "some girl" he replied "im Jayne Ada knows me" I say "said her name is Jayne" he said before Ada came to the door "Jayne what happened" she says letting me in "Finn cheated on me" i say as i begin to cry "James can you make some tea please" Ada asked the boy 

She say me down and got me a towel "Finn's crazy about you , why would he do that" Ada asks "i don't know" i reply "i was wondering if i could stay with you for a little while just until i can find my own place" i ask "of course yeah no problem" Ada replied "thanks" i say.

Days pass and Finn has tried to come over but Ada turns him away everytime , i found a small flat to stay for awhile , i'll be leaving Ada's within a few days.

I woke up to the phone ringing in the middle of the night , i picked it up confused "Hello" i say "Jayne" i hear Finn say "what do you want" i snap "to explain" he says "no Finn there is nothing to explain you slept with another woman i knew i shouldn't have trusted" i say before hanging up  i grew frustrated and couldn't get back to sleep.

I got dressed in a fancy dress and went to the Eden club , i got some snow and danced forgetting about my troubles , before i bump into Johna d Arthur.

"Jayne uh hello" Arthur said "hey boys" i say as i hug them "have you tried this stuff , it makes you feel amazing" i slur "your doing snow now" Arthur asks "yes , im just living my life" i say "you shouldn't be doing that" John said "jesus what is with the Shelby boys and ruining everything good" i say before pushing past them.

I made my way home and fell straight asleep , everything my life was going back to shit , i lost the the two men in my life that i loved , then one of the dogs died and lately i feel empty like nothing really ever matters , i'm sick of living and im tired , i just want to be with Oliver again.