The Upside Of Us

Part 12

[TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of eating disorder, disordered thoughts, and body image issues.]

I was a pretty happy person, though I tried to be, so so desperately hard. I knew how fortunate it was to be able to smile one day and the next feel like the thought of even lifting your lips was too heavy. So I put on my favorite blue striped sweater, wear my green converse because green makes me feel lucky.

Put my hair into braids and put on a smile on my face no matter how much the finger nail marks on my arm ached. I was pretty pale to begin with, the marks stood on my arm like proud swords. So angry looking and ugly, I knew they would leave a mark.

If I thought about it any longer I'd cry, so I didn't.

I was walking toward my locker, the halls weren't as busy as they usual were, which was a good thing. Crowds gave me anxiety.

I was staring nimbly at the book in my hands, when I felt a heavy weight press on my shoulders and someone tug my braids.

My face scrunched at that. I turned to face a very smug looking Kalen, blonde tousled hair and sharp eyes. He looked like a model it's unfair.

I thumped him on his annoyingly hard chest, "No yanking the girls. They are sensitive you toad." His pearly white smile widened and I couldn't help but match his with one of my own, just with a lot less charm then him.

His hand skimmed the ends of my pigtails again, but now just caressing in a soothing way, "You alright, pretty girl?" his eyes staring into mine seriously as if looking at them long enough would reveal something.

I laugh weakly, sending him a smile that was barley there. "Yeah, its just been a really long day."

He squinted his eyes at me, but didn't push for more. He pushed me lightly with his shoulders, teasingly. "You're lucky it wasn't longer, hearing Adryan go on about how he is distantly related to a prince somewhere in Yemen was bad enough." I let out a laugh at that. His lips quirk up at the sound.

"Oh please, you love it when Adryan goes on his little tangents, it's cute." He thought about it, his eyes going soft.

"Yeah I do, I really do." A faint blush appeared on his cheeks, I tried not to squeal at the realization that two of my best friends could possibly fall in love.

I didn't want to tease him about it yet, Kalen was as bare as an open book but when it came to how he felt the words frayed at the ends like torn away pages.

We made to the cafeteria, Xina appeared to be talking so passionately about something. Her arms flailing in the air while Jonah stared at the table in a lost expression. The scene made me giggle.

"And that's why I think Scott Fitzgerald sucks for not making Gatsby and Nick fall in love when clearly they wanted to smooch." Jonah looks so lost, his face all bored hoping Xina would shutup. He was wearing grey sweats, and a dark green hoodie, with a chain around his neck. Gosh he was stunning.

"Who Nick? Yeah he was gay." Kalen says, plopping himself on top the table. "No one is that obsessed with another guy unless he was planning to murder him, which he didn't. Case closed!" Jonah is just blocking them out now, his gaze falling to me. I hide under his gaze hoping my stray hairs hide my fugly profile. Dark eyes stare at me intently, the butterflies in my stomach grow. Right now I hate him. No I don't.

I sit next to him, fingers clasped in front of me. Our elbow touches touching.

I turn to face him, "Hi." He looks at me, and being this close to his face should be illegal. He's too pretty not to stare at. The grey of his eyes so translucent.