starting over • book 3 of cdls

• 11

• Kaye POV •

"Kaye, do you want to go see him?" Mom asked. I nodded, wiping my eyes. I got up and stood by the door. He looked at me and held out his arms. I laid down beside him and he wrapped his arms around me. "You scared me." I sighed laying my head on his chest.

"I'm okay." He said kissing my head. "No you're not Hayes." I said. He sighed and I sat up looking at him. "They told you everything huh?" He asked. I nodded and he sighed.

"I don't want you to go, but you have to get better." I said. "I don't want to talk about this right now, I just want to hold you." He said. I laid back down and kissed him. "I love you." I told him. "I love you more." He said, "I'm so sorry for last night baby, I know that isn't enough, but I'm truly sorry." He added.

"Let's not talk about that." I said. He nodded and we talked about other things. I saw dad by the door and he was holding the twins hands. When we made eye contact, they started smiling.

Hayes got up and I looked at him. "Hayes, you have to lay down." I said. "I'm fine." He chuckled, picking Dallas up. "Stop worrying." He told me. I looked at Alex who stood in the same place.

"Come here baby." I said, holding my arms out. He looked up at dad and dad let go of his hand. Alex started walking over to me and I smiled. Once he was in reach, I picked him up and sat him on the bed.

"You're so cute." I smiled. I laid down on my back and sat him on my stomach. He grabbed my face and I laughed, taking his hands off of me. Hayes sat on the bed and he smiled at me.

Thinking about Hayes being gone, made me want to cry. I knew this was serious if they wanted to send him off, I just wanted everything to be okay. The doctor came in and we looked at him.

"Can I ask you a few questions Hayes?" He asked Hayes. Hayes nodded and the doctor pulled up at hair beside the bed and sat down. "Have you ever been in a traumatizing experience?" He asked.

Hayes sighed and nodded. "What is that?" He asked. "I was in a fire, the building collapsed." Hayes said, staring down at his lap. The doctor nodded and wrote it down.

I took Hayes' hand and the doctor continued asking questions. "Hayes, we have ideas of what goes on in your head when you sleep, but we need to know for sure what it is your seeing so we can help." The doctor said.

"Kaye, I need you to leave." Hayes sighed. "No Hayes, I'm not leaving you." I said. Hayes stood up, carrying Dallas out. Cameron came in holding Dallas and he took Alex also.

Hayes came back in and I stood up. "Is it me? Are you having dreams about me?" I asked. I didn't want to be the reason he was having panic attacks, but I had to know. He sat back down and patted the spot next to him.

I sat next to him and he wrapped his arm around me. "Are you ready to tell me?" The doctor asked Hayes. Hayes nodded and took a deep breath, before he started to talk.

"I fear that my girlfriend will get hurt, I fear that I won't be there when she does get hurt. I can't help thinking about it, but I worry a lot." Hayes started to say. The doctor wrote it down as Hayes talked.

"I think about what if something happens to my kids or my family. I try to wake up from it, but I can't." Hayes said. He continued with his thoughts and it became overwhelming. I didn't think he feared so much that he panics about it.

I stood up and rushed out. "Kaye, what's wrong." Dad said stopping me. I started crying and he hugged me. Hayes has been through a lot and the fact that he is having these thoughts scare me. "Kaye." I heard Hayes. I pulled away and looked at him.

"Why didn't you tell me Hayes?" I asked. "I didn't want to worry you, I thought they would stop." He said. I shook my head and sat down, putting my head in my hands.

He kneeled down in front of me and I looked at him. "I don't want this to damage you." I told him. He took his hands, wiping my tears. "I'm going to be okay." He said. "I can't believe that Hayes, I can't." I cried.

"We need to be talk." He said. He stood up and we walked down the hall. "What do you think is going on with me?" He asked. "I know what these type of things do to people, people commit suicide because they can't handle what they're dreaming or thinking about, I can't lose you." I said.

"Kalyn, don't ever think I would kill or harm myself, I'm not leaving you or our boys." He said. I nodded and he kissed me. "You look exhausted, you need to go home and sleep." He said. "I'm not leaving you." I said. "Kalyn, you haven't slept all night have you?" He asked.

"How could I?" I mumbled. "You need to go home and got to sleep." He said. "Hayes, I'm not leaving you." I said. He grabbed my wrist and we walked back down to his room. "Can someone take her home? She needs to sleep." Hayes asked.

"No, I'm not leaving the hospital, let me stay." I glared at him. "Fine, but you're going to sleep. You look tired." He said. "I'm going to take the boys and your moms home, we'll be back later." Dad said. We nodded and walked in Hayes' hotel room.

"Lay down." He said. "Come lay with me." I said. I laid down and he laid beside me, wrapping his arms around me.

"I love you." I told him. "I love you too." He said and kissed me.

• Next Day •

They had been running all sorts of test on Hayes yesterday and he finally got to go home. They still want him to go to this one hospital, but they're not demanding it be done unless Hayes gets worse. I don't want him gone, but I want him okay.

"I'm fine, can you loosen up a bit." Hayes chuckled. "You were just in a hospital bed yesterday." I said. "Let's go out and stop at the pizza parlor." He said. "That sounds really good right now." I smiled.

"Good, go get dressed." He said smacking my ass. "Watch those hands." He said. "I can touch whatever I want babe." He said. I raised an eyebrow and he chuckled, "Just go get dressed."

I went upstairs and I saw Dallas in the hallway. I held my arms out and he did the same. I picked him up and walked to the twins room. "Hayes!" I called. He rushed upstairs and came by their room.

"What's wrong?" He asked. "The gate is still up, but Dallas wasn't in the room, he was sitting in the hallway." I said. "Where's Alex?" He asked. I looked to see Alex playing in the corner. "I don't understand." I said.

"Don't worry." He said. I didn't want to say the worst things that could've happened because I didn't need Hayes worrying about another thing. I nodded and he grabbed both of the twins, going downstairs.

I got dressed and fixed my hair, before going downstairs. "My handsome boys." I smirked once I saw Hayes standing there holding the twins. "They get if from me." Hayes smirked. "Yes they do." I said kissing him.

We walked out and Hayes strapped the kids in. "Let's go get pizza." Hayes smiled starting the car. I smiled and kissed him.

"I really do love you."

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SORRY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE UPDATED EARLIER BUT I GOT CAUGHT UP IM SORRY

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!