Finding Happiness

chapter 32

Riley

It's been a few days  since the trip to the hospital and I was finally going back to school.

Apparently the social worker was taking a trip to inspect my living situation at some point this week, which annoyed Sebastian the most.

Few hours earlier

"The social worker rang" Noah said walking into the kitchen. I tensed up at hearing this. "She's not having Riley" Sebastian said not even looking up from the file he was reading. "She's paying a visit, a suprise one to see if Riley's living situation is up to standard"  Noah explained. I rolled my eyes "no one cared before" I mumbled. "What the fuck does she expect to find" he demanding. Lucas who had been on his phone the entire time but I suspect he had been listening "maybe that we are keeping her chained up in a basement"  it was obvious that he was trying to make a joke. "Do not talk like that" Sebastian warned and Noah nodded at Lucas, signalling him to listen to Sebastian.
Lucas still didn't know I was abused by Kevin.
And Noah didn't know about the gym teacher.
"Riley is there anything we can do to make you more comfortable" Noah asked changing the topic slightly since Sebastian looked angry. I thought for a minute but shook my head. All three brothers were great. All had their own thing that made me like them. Although Sebastian was always going to be my favourite. Sebastian had changed his attention back to me now and his eyes were more focused on my ribs and wrist. He still felt guilty. "Well you both should get going school starts soon" Noah said.
Before I left I made sure to hug Sebastian, he was hesitant but hugged back "stop feeling guilty, I'm okay, I forgive you" I whisper and he reluctantly nods. "Let's go mini Seb" Lucas said but then his eyes widened "I mean mini Sebastian" he quickly corrected which confused me. I guess Sebastian didn't like being called Seb. I looked at Sebastian and saw sadness. i gave him another hug then hugged Noah "you better keep an eye on him today. I don't want to come home and find him like this" I tell Noah and he chuckled "yeah you definitely are his mini me, I will"  I nodded satisfied with his anwser and left with Lucas.

So that brings me to my current situation. Sat in maths with Clara and Liam, I had no clue who Liam was but he had been moved to our maths class and sat next to Clara and I so the three of us had started talking at the back of class.
"Riley what's the anwser to question 21" our teacher asks. I glance at the paper in front and then give her the anwser, she seemed suprised I'd gotten it right. Clara and Liam complimented me and we continued to talk quietly. Maths was easy for the three of us anyway.

Meanwhile

Lucas.

I sat behind the bleachers with a few friends. Today's drug was weed. I know it's a bad habit but ever since I became this sort of person I couldn't help it. Father taught me to become a killer. I was the youngest, his expectations were high for Sebastian and maybe Noah but for me he didn't care, as long as I did the job. Sebastian was strict growing up and maybe I still held a grudge. I wanted to make father proud, I wanted his attention so I made sure to become the best...or at least second best. Sebastian was the best. He has never missed a target on the board or in real life. Anyway the reason I do drugs, it was a coping mechanism, drugs and alcohol helped me forget the pain I caused people over the years. I didn't do it for fun like my friends, I just wanted to forget. Maybe that's why I was starting to enjoy Riley's company, I no longer felt empty, I felt happiness? No. It couldn't be happiness.
My childhood was rules, rules and more rules. All given by Sebastian, I confronted father once and he told me i could break them if I wanted. So I did. I broke seven rules resulting in Sebastian storming into my room to shout at me, only he didn't shout he spoke in a deadly calm voice, I still remember that day. I must have been about 12.
"Break a rule again, I dare you"
He didn't speak to Noah or I for a few weeks after that. His words stuck with me but in the past  few years I had begun to break more.

Forgetting was the best solution so as all my friends laughed and joked. I simply stayed quiet wanting to forget so I rolled my joint. I hesitated though as I thought about Riley. No, I needed to forget.

Noah

Sebastian had me go to several legal meetings whilst he did the dodgy stuff. I always noticed when he was double booked he would have me do the legal stuff. He was quiet and too quiet. I took Riley's words seriously but I was also quite concerned myself.
Quite a few things could have made him this angry.
The social worker
The basement joke..the reason it was a joke, a bad one but still a joke was because our prisoners were kept in cells in the basement of the gang house.
And finally the use of Seb.
Sebastian hated anything but Sebastian.
I was concerned and was definitely going to bring it up after these meetings.

Sebastian

I sat in a meeting about gun shipments but I was only half listening. I was pissed, how dare that social worker come back.
How dare Kevin fucking keep her in a basement, why didn't I track her down sooner.
And then there was Seb.
I hated the memories associated with that name so even after dad I still wouldn't allow my brothers to call me any shortened version. I couldn't go back there. But then my thoughts turned brighter, was Riley really a mini me. Of course I hated that. I was a monster she shouldn't be like me but I saw so many similarities between us, even her attitude can come across as similar to mine for example this morning with her words to Noah. The only difference there was she was talking about me and I wasn't talking about her because I can guarantee I'd pretty much say the same thing.

Oh god. I had a mini me.

I smiled at the thought but decided I would do everything I could to not let her become the monster I am.