Finding Happiness

chapter 76

The four of them had gotten  Chinese on the way back and so when they arrived back they went into the living room and put the food out on the coffee table for them to plate up themselves. Noah and Lucas set up the food whist Riley and Sebastian had gotten blankets .

The four of them had also quickly changed into more comfy clothes, with the boys opting for joggers and a tshirt and Riley her pajamas.

Lucas chose the first film, he was a little gutted it had to be age appropriate but didn't say anything.

The four of them ate and watched the film, with Riley leaning against Sebastian.

After they had done eating, Sebastian reluctantly got up to put the plates away "where are you going" Riley asked.
"I'll be back, I'm just going to put these in the kitchen" Sebastian told her. "Oh, okay" Riley said but her dissapointment was obvious. "Hey I will only be a minute" he reassured her. "Does anyone want anything whilst I'm there" Sebastian asked them all.
"No" the three of them replied.
"I'll help you, there's quite a bit"  Noah said and Sebastian took that as a sign of Noah wanting a private word with him.

"So what is it" Sebastian asked after they set the plates down in the kitchen.
"Well you know I think what you and Riley have is great" Noah started choosing his words carefully.
"The point" Sebastian said.
"Well don't get me wrong it's cute and stuff but have you considered you both might have attachment issues" Noah decided to straight out say it.
Sebastian wasn't too happy but decided not to get angry as it would ruin the night "she has not experienced love for 7 years, and the fact we share this thing, it just makes us closer, yes we may be a little attached, but she is the youngest, I need to protect her, to keep her safe" Sebastian tried to explain, he couldn't bring himself to say the words so he had referred to it as 'this thing' when really it was abuse.

"I understand Sebastian, I really do and I honestly don't have a problem with it. I'm just concerned. Im glad she can turn to you, you deserve it, I'm just worried you are taking on too much responsibility, I'm here to help and we both know the trauma Riley has won't go away over night, I'm just worried" Noah tried to explain, he was struggling to word it in a way Sebastian would accept.
"I understand what you are saying, and maybe I am encouraging it but it's nice you know"

Noah didn't like where this was heading.
"Why is it nice" he asked cautiously, already dreading the anwser.
"Because she doesn't see me as a monster, we have a connection. I just don't want to be cold and closed off anymore" Sebastian admitted.

"Sebastian, you. Are. Not. A. Monster" Noah hated that Sebastian thought that, but he finally understood why and he would love nothing more than to rip their father apart for everything he did, sadly he couldnt.

"You wouldn't be saying that if you saw what I did to that social worker"

"I know what you're capable of Sebastian, you're still not a monster"

"Okay"

"Now let's go back so Riley can attach herself to you" Noah joked.

"It's not really that bad is it" Sebastian asked hesitantly. He didn't want to be making Riley worse.
"No not at all, it's super cute, I just don't want you both too be mentally reliant on each other when you are both so.....broken" Noah summerized.

Sebastian nodded, he understood and he didn't want Riley to have attachment issues and he didn't want them either.

They both entered the living room and sat back down, when Riley leaned on him, he let her because he couldn't not let her and he definitely didn't want her going to Noah or Lucas.

They sat and watched films for a few hours, at one point, Lucas had moved to the floor with a few cushions and Riley had joined him with even more cushions.
Noah had instantly taken pictures and then he grabbed the blankets for them and build a small fort around them, Sebastian smiled as he watched his siblings.

A little bit of jealousy crept up when he saw  Riley and Lucas. He ignored it though because he knew what Noah was saying had some truth to it. She needed a healthy balance of the three of them in her life, he couldn't just be the only one, not that he didn't prefer it that way.

Noah grabbed some cushions and went and sat down so Sebastian did the same,

This time however the seating arrangement had changed.

How they are sat.  
  (Sebastian, Lucas, Riley, Noah)
     
Noah felt Riley's head land on his shoulder and when he glanced over she had fallen asleep. This was a first for him and at first he panicked "what do I do, she's fallen asleep" he whispered in panic. "Just let her sleep we can move her at the end of the film"

Noah nodded, Riley always went to Sebastian, she had once gone to Lucas but she had never fallen asleep on him or anything like that before. He didn't mind though, he just wrapped an arm around her.

It turned out none of the siblings went to bed that night, by the end of the film, Lucas was asleep and Noah was dozing off, so Sebastian took pictures then grabbed the blankets, giving them each a blanket and then he to decided to go to sleep.

He had come to the realisation that he wanted what he didn't have as a child, so he would do anything he could to make that happen, even if that meant doing what he deemed to be childish. He rather be in his bed but for family he would make an exception, at least he would tonight.

It's been a while but I'm trying to start writing again, it's not the best chapter so I apologize for my terrible writing.

I do have plans to make more drama however I have been thinking I'm already on chapter 76 and only got half of what I wanted so maybe a sequel if I can get back into writing that is.  I do want to finish this book but I am still unsure if I will cut it short and end it, or do what I set out to do and put some more of their friends and life outside the family in another book.