Finding Happiness

chapter 108

Once they got home, Lucas had gone to do homework, and Riley decided to start on a project due.

Sebastian made dinner for his siblings, spaghetti, this time it was a proper meal instead of tinned spaghetti hoops....he forgot to buy them the other day.

Once ready, he called his siblings down and they ate it. Sebastian asked them both how school was and they both told him about their days, Lucas telling him the most as Riley really only told him what classes she had and assignments and projects due.

Lucas mainly did the talking as he had alot more going on.

"Where's Noah" Lucas asked once he had finished talking about his day.

"He's out with his friends, I had to kick him out to get him to go out" Sebastian anwsered.

"You kicked him out" Riley asked.

"Not really, I just told him he couldn't be back till later, he's fine Riley" Sebastian reassured her.

After dinner, Lucas went back to studying, Sebastian started tidying up.

Riley came back to the kitchen after she had finished the last part of an essay she had been writing along side her project.

"Can I help" Riley asked feeling guilty that Sebastian was doing everything.

"No, it's fine. I can do it" Sebastian replied.

"You're not mad at me are you" Riley asked.

"Why would I be" Sebastian replied.

"Well the doctor asked about family and who I live with and I told her I lived with my brothers and then she asked about parents. I told her they weren't about anymore, then she started talking about needing a stable home and that she would talk to you because she doesn't want you being a parent when you're just a brother" Riley explained.

"It's okay Riley, I'm not mad"

"i mentioned him though, you said I couldn't. Are you sure you're ok with it"

Sebastian sighed, he fucked up bad. "I'm so sorry Riley. I never meant those words. Im sorry I said them. They aren't true" Sebastian was devastated.

"You won't send me away will you"

"Oh god, I'm so so sorry. Riley I love you, I'm never going to do that. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Sebastian couldn't help but repeat how sorry he was.

"It's just with the doctor suggested parents, and you saying what you did" Riley tried to explain.

"Look Riley I'm not going to lie, this isn't the life I wanted you to have. When mum took you away I hoped you would have a life where you don't have to worry about anything, maybe you had a new father, even a couple of siblings, or a pet, preferably a pet. I wanted you to have a happy normal life. However that wasn't the case. You were thrown a shit hand in life Riley but I promise you this, I am never letting you go live with anyone else until you are old enough to actually move out. I know this family isn't stable and there will be alot of things that you probably would need a mother for, but that doesn't change the fact that we are all still a family and I love you Riley"

"Really" a few tears fell down Riley's cheek as she asked.

"Yeah, really"

Riley didn't say anything after that she just hugged Sebastian, who was slightly shocked, he didn't expect a hug, he didn't deserve a hug. He considered himself a shit brother, he hated the words he had said, he hated himself even more. But he wouldn't let Riley know that. He wouldn't let her see how much he was hurting, her wellbeing was more important than him as at least that's what he thought.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" Sebastian hugged her back, whispering how sorry he was multiple times. Tears ran down his cheeks as he knew how much he fucked up.

The two of them cried and held each other like the other was going to dissapear if they let go. Sebastian telling her how sorry he was and how it will never happen again and how much she meant to him and loved her.

Riley was struggling not to forgive him for his words. He meant it, he really meant the apologize. Would forgiving him for the words make her weak? She saw how sorry he was and wanted to forgive him. Eventually she decided to forgive him but not tell him, if he knew he was forgiven he might go back to being like he was.

They eventually pulled away, Sebastian quickly wiped his eyes and put a smile on his face, it was obviously fake but she didn't need to know.

"Is there anything else you want to talk about"

Riley thought about it and nodded. "After discussing family, she asked about Kevin, I had to tell her my mum died and she asked if mum remarried or had a boyfriend. Then she asked what happened to him, why I wasn't being looked after by him and what type of man he was"

Sebastian managed not to insult Kevin as Riley spoke. He wanted to be patient and listen to her.

"Do you think if mum hadn't of died he wouldn't have gotten abusive, that I would have had a good life, like the one you described"

Sebastian thought for a moment, he didn't know what life was like for her when mum was alive but it wasn't abusive which was good.
"No I don't think it would be" he finally anwsered.
Riley looked upset "why not" she asked.

"Because Kevin was abusive, he was a cruel man and I think that eventually even with mum around he would have snapped and hurt you, maybe it wouldn't have been as bad but it was his nature" Sebastian explained.

"I guess that makes sense. I don't think I want the life you described though" Riley told him.

"Why is that" Sebastian asked.

"Because then you wouldn't be in it, I don't want other siblings, I just want you three"

Sebastian couldn't help but grin widely. "You have us, always"

"Promise"

"Yeah. You are stuck with me...I mean us. I know I can be a dick, and I'm not saying we won't ever have arguements and stuff again because there will be times we do but I promise I....we will always be here for you"