Finding Happiness

chapter 51

"I'm sorry I lost you Riley" Lucas comforted Riley who was in tears. "He was so mad at me" Riley whispered. "He didn't mean it" Lucas tried but it didn't work. "What if he did, what if all this time he was faking it and this is the real him"
Lucas didn't know what to say to this, both he and Noah had learnt to accept how cold Sebastian was, since Riley came into their lives he had been more vunerable and less distant.
But the truth was, that was Sebastian, the real him. He was cold, distant, merciless and cruel.
But to family he made an exception.
Only Sebastian wasn't aware it was Riley so he had shown a glimpse of what he was like to others.

"You know how Sebastian runs this place" Lucas said, he was picking his words carefully.
When Riley nodded he continued "well it's a very successful company making him well known. However bring well known isn't all positive, we have a lot of media attention, Sebastian genuinely thought you were some reporter or something and broke in. It's happened before" Lucas hoped his explanation was good enough.
"But the guard told him I was just a kid"
Lucas mentally cursed, Sebastian had definitely dug himself into a  hole with this. "Yeah but I'm 18 and he still calls me a kid, he probably thought you were around my age" Lucas was really hoping there wasn't more.
"But he said he didn't care if I was 5, he wanted me arrested. A five year old!"
Lucas was starting to wonder how much Sebastian had actually said, it seemed to get worse every time.
"He was just being super dramatic" Lucas hoped there wasn't more.
"Ok" Riley whispered, not knowing how to feel about it all. She decided to accept it for now but when they got home, she would need to hear Sebastian out before she made her decision.
She understood it was a mistake, the guard was doing his job and if they had problems in the past then it was only fair they checked her. The only thing that did bother her was how Sebastian had spoken, if he had spoken nicely then it would have been fine but he was so cold and closed off that it scared her.

They both made there way back to Noah's office, he was speaking on the phone when they entered so they both silently sat down.
"Yeah that will be fine, I'll see you later"  Noah said and hung up.
"Who was that" Lucas asked.
"Just a friend, he has a little problem I need to go sort out tonight" Noah said wanting to be vague as possible especially around Riley.
"Didn't think you had friends, you're always with us" Lucas joked which Noah rolled his eyes too "I have plenty of friends and you know I do"
Riley hated where her mind was going but she put a smile on her face and pretended she was fine. "Now let's go into town. Riley do you need anything whilst we are there" Noah said.
Riley shook her head, she didn't need anything at least she didn't think she did.
Noah noticed how quiet she was and looked to Lucas for some explanation. Lucas pretended to be oblivious to the look Noah gave.

They soon finished everything they needed to do in town. Noah got Lucas his books for class, he got Riley some extra stuff for class. Lucas had quietly mentioned what had happened to Riley because Noahs worry was growing.
Noah was annoyed when he found out, he didn't blame Sebastian for it as it was a honest mistake. They had learnt to accept how cold Sebastian was but this was Riley. Sure she had seen glimpses before but he had never spoken to her directly or about her like that before.
The way it was done annoyed him, he should have been calm. However he understood to some extent, the news always wanted a story on him especially when the 'rumours' got out.

When they got home they first noticed Sebastian wasn't in. Even after Noah went looking for him, he hadn't said where he had gone but Noah decided not to worry to much about it and went and joined his siblings in the living room.

Sebastian walked in a few hours later, he didn't say anything, instead he sat down in the living room where his brothers and sister were watching a film.

Riley watched his every movement, he was sober now but that didn't mean a thing.

Kevin came to mind as she watched Sebastian, even the slightest bit of movement had her on edge.

It was the morning after Kevin came back drunk for the first time, he wasn't very nice to her but she understood that he was sad and sad people often drink. He had shouted at her..but that was ok she deserved it. At least that's what she told herself.
He hit her but  again she told herself it was valid, she shouldn't have argued with him. She should have been more conciderate, he was sad too about the loss of her mum.
He locked her in her room but that was okay too because she didn't mind the dark.
The next day he was furious with her for not cleaning the bottles up and when she told her she couldn't because he locked her downstairs, he exploded and hit her with a bottle.

But in her mind it was okay.

She told herself Sebastian wasn't Kevin but he had shouted at her, maybe he's just waiting for the right time.
No. She couldn't think like that.
But Kevin was great until her mum died. Maybe Sebastian will change.

The film came to a end and Sebastian who had noticed Riley was watching him decided to speak to her. He had been trying to work up the nerve to talk to her but he was scared of how she would respond, he didn't want to loose her and so he put it off, in his mind the longer they don't talk, the longer he has her.

"I should get started on dinner" Noah announced when he saw Sebastian giving him a look.
"Great idea, Lucas why don't you help" Sebastian said, Lucas would normally say no but he got that Sebastian wanted to talk to Riley so he silently followed Noah out.

Sebastian turned to Riley who was still watching him. He had moved to fast for her liking and she was  on edge now Noah and Lucas were gone.

"I want to apologize for my behaviour earlier" Sebastian said.
"You're forgiven" Riley quickly said not wanting to annoy him.  Sebastian didn't know how to proceed. He wanted to be forgiven, he could just have accepted her forgiveness but he saw glimpses of fear. He wasn't going to allow her to forgive him if it was out of fear.
"No Riley, please tell me what's on your mind" he asked.
"At first it bothered me how you did it. Like I understood why but your tone was scary"
Sebastian nodded, he had figured out that he had probably scared her but it hurt when she admitted it.
"And now" he asked.
"I..it doesn't matter" Riley was scared to tell him. She didn't want to see his reaction.
"Riley I know something is bothering you please just open up. I don't like seeing you like this"
Riley still didn't say anything, she just shook her head.
"Ok I'm not going to force you to tell me but if you do, I can reassure you about it" Sebastian desperately wanted to fix all of Riley's problems.
"I...you...what if..Kevin" Riley tried to get her words out.
Sebastians concern grew and he became very angry very quick just at the mention of Kevin. He hid his emotions though not wanting Riley to think he was angry with her.
"You got drink last night then you snapped, it reminds me of Kevin" Riley whispered.

There it was, it was worse than the pain their dad inflicted on him.
He was so awful that he reminded her of her abuser.
"I see.  Would you like to share what Kevin did that"  Sebastian asked. He had gone into business mode, the tone he used to hide any emotion. "He got drunk but I deserved it, I should have realised he was grieving for mum" Sebastian didn't like this at all. He knew Riley was scared of him but he reached out and pued her into his arms. At first she freaked out and he was about to let go but she calmed down quickly. "In the morning he snapped at me. Different reasons but you still snapped" she continued. "And then what did he do" Sebastian asked. "He...hit me" Riley was hesitant to anwser.
"And you think I'll do the same" Sebastian asked. Riley didn't know. She wanted to say no but there was still some doubt.

"Ok, Ill tell you this again and again, every day if I have to,  I will never hit you, you didn't deserve anything Kevin did to you. I know you may think that now but I'm going to show you that you are wrong" Sebastian said.

"Thank you Sebastian" Riley whispered and buried her head in his chest.

"Can I ask a question though" Sebastian asked.
"Sure"

"I never saw this fear when Lucas came home drunk, sure there was a bit but never this much. Where you hiding it or has something changed" Sebastian was genuinely curious.

"I wasn't afraid as much because i had you"

"And you still do, I promise"