The Unbreakable Glass (Costillano #4)

Kabanata 30 (Unedited)

“No. No. No! Zideon!” Nataranta ako nang marahas niya akong pagsarahan ng pintuan ng kaniyang sasakyan matapos ko siyang habulin. “Zideon, please don’t do this to me! Zideon!”

    Pilit kong kinatok ang bintana ng kaniyang sasakyan nang sinimulan niya iyong paandarin. My tears won’t stop from falling, yet he chose not to look at my direction. Paulit-ulit ko siyang sinigawan na pagbuksan ako ngunit umalingawngaw na lang ang pagmamakaawa ko sa kaniya na huwag umalis habang hinahabol ko ang kaniyang sasakyan.

“Zideon, I’m sorry! Kausapin mo naman ako oh....”

    Napahikbi ako at nagpatuloy sa paghabol sa sa kaniya hanggang sa mapagod na lang ang mga paa ko. I tried to run to chase him, but my knees were trembling in decadence while trying to catch my breath, hanggang sa manlabo na lang nang tuluyan ang mga mata ko dala ng mga luha na patuloy sa pagrasa kasabay ng unti-unting paglalaho ng kaniyang sasakyan mula sa aking paningin.

“Zideon!!!!!!”

     I tried so hard to scream his name, hoping to at least he would stop and come back to me until my voice cracked in so much exhaustion as I was left there; as he left  me there...whining.

    When Morthon had broken up his promises to me, I had loss my will to trust him. I had never ever let him to hear his explanations, I had just...ran; ran away from him. But now I was the one who have broken up my words to Zideon, hence he lost his will to trust me anymore. Morthon had broken me and I had chosen to run away; and now that I’ve broke Zideon, he ran away.

    I left someone, and now I got left.

    Karma really hits me like a bitch huh.

    I had been encountering different people all day, and there’s this one thing that I realized; when a trust is broken, it has a greater chance not to be fixed. Because I, me and myself already experienced it. Bakit ba hindi ko magawang paniwalaan sakaling gusto akong protektahan ni Morthon? Dahil matagal nang nasira ang tiwalang matagal kong inimbak para sa kaniya.

    The same to Zideon’s case. I broke his trust, and now...he left me...hanging with the fact that no matter explanations I make, nothing can change the fact that I am what I am. I am not the gleeful Sahara he used to know, because I am Alanis; a woman with a heart like an unbreakable glass, but that day...that day...he tore me into pieces...leaving me shattered.

    Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal na nakatayo sa lugar na iyon; patuloy sa pag-agos ang mga luha at paulit-ulit na pinoproseso sa aking isip kung paano niya ako tinalikuran dala ang takot at pagkamuhi sa kaniyang mga mata.

    Napahawak na lang ako sa aking tuhod at napaupo sa semento dala ng panlalambot ng aking mga tuhod kasabay nang mabibigat kong mga hikbi.

    Sinubukan ko namang ayusin ang lahat, pero bakit kailangang sa ganito pa bumagsak? Don’t I deserve to be accepted? Was I too bad for him? Was I?

     Mahigit kalahating oras siguro akong nakaganoon lang ang ayos nang napagdesisyunan kong tumayo at umalis ng paradahan.

    My eyes were swollen from crying and my throat went dry when I began to cross the street and walked towards Morthon’s vehicle. Hindi ko na inisip pa ang ilang mga mata na napatingin sa aking gawi dahil sa hitsura ko hanggang sa tuluyan na akong nakarating sa malapit sa sasakyan.

    I was a few meters away from it when I planned to walk to open the shotgun seat, but then the driver’s seat rapidly opened where I saw Morthon. Napahinto ako sa paglalakad at nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya nang nagtama ang mata naming dalawa. His lips were in grim line when I saw him sighed and approached me. His expression was covered with grave, yet the worries and concern in his eyes never escape from my observation.