Intertwined

Chapter 4

"Lauren..."

A tear slips out of her eye and falls on my wrist. I reach up and wipe away her tears. There's no going back now. "Life has never been easy for me. All my life I have felt like the odd ball. I never really had friends. I was struggling a lot. I'd cry myself to sleep as a kid, I still do all the time. One day when I was eight, I was sitting on a swing in the playground, while my brother and sister played, and a girl my age comes and sits with me. She says ' Hi. My name is Evangeline. What's your name?' I said 'My name is Lauren. Are you lost?' I didn't think that anyone would talk to me voluntarily. But she said 'No Lauren, I just wanted to talk to you and ask if you wanted to play with me because you seem sad and lonely.' She was my first friend. From then on we were inseparable. The day she became my friend was the happiest day of my life. Until one day when we were 13. Evangeline and I were both very alike. We hadn't ever had any friends until the day we met. We both showed signs of depression from a very young age. We were together nearly all the time because, to us, we were all we had...each other. I remember the nights when we'd sleep over at each other's houses and cried together for hours. We comforted and protected each other. Evangeline was like a sister to me. We shared good and bad moments together. Both Evangeline and I were bullied physically and verbally. But we stood up for each other and comforted one another when one of us would get upset. I couldn't handle it but I stayed strong for Evangeline. She was my other half, we were partners in crime. Then one day my life changed drastically. You see, I had asked Evangeline to come over so that she can sleep over. I desperately needed her because I was finally gonna admit my suicidal thoughts to her. I NEEDED to tell her because I was becoming a danger to myself and I didn't want to kill myself at 13 when I could've just asked for help. Evangeline was gonna be my help. But before she got to my house she and her whole family had been killed in a car crash. The car had flipped after it was hit, so when they found the car.." My voice got shaky and tears were flowing freely down my face. Camila grabbed my hand supportingly, I ignored the lump in my throat and continued. "..When they found the car...all the corpses were either upside-down or...  uh...Evangeline was the unlucky one. She didn't have the seat belt on so when they were hit...she went through the windshield and landed a few yards away from the car." I was sobbing by now but continued for the sake of getting it all out. "Her two-year-old brother, Elijah, was still slightly breathing when me and my parents arrived on the crash sight. We had heard the crash from two blocks away and so we hurried to see if anything had happened because what we had heard was REALLY loud so we got worried. There were people from our neighborhood standing on their porches and on the street; some even calling 911 several times. When I recognized the car I ran to the car and searched for anyone that might be alive. My parents were yelling and running after me trying to get me to stop. They didn't want me seeing what I saw that day. I had crawled into the car and looked up at the hanging bodies that were covered in blood. When I saw little Eli move, I immediately went to check and see if he was breathing, thank God he was. I unbuckled him with one hand and caught him when he fell from his car seat. I held Eli so close to me. I love Eli so much. I was there the day he was born. I got to carry him, he smiled for the first time when he was in my arms. I watched him grow up. Him and I had a special relationship, I loved him and his family like my own family. When I exited the car with little Eli in my arms, I saw Evangeline a few yards away. As I got closer...I noticed her body soaked in blood. Her chest rose a little. I got my hopes up and got to my knees. I asked her to squeeze my free hand if she was still alive. She slightly squeezed it. I held Eli with one arm as I put Evangeline's head on my lap. I tried to distract her until the paramedics arrived. She held my hand and looked in my eyes that held that special glint in her eye. I kept begging her to hold on. I begged for God to not take her. I remember how she let go of my hand and held my cheek with her cold hand. She said to me 'Take care of Eli. I'll watch over you Laur. Stay strong. You'll always have me right here' she pointed to my heart. I sobbed and told her not to go. All she did was say 'Thank you for everything Lauren. I love you.' She went limp in my arms, the sparkle in her eye disappeared and I sat there with my hands all bloody, sobbing and hugging my best friend with my arm and Eli with the other. God took her away from me Camz. He took my other half away from me when I kept begging him not to. I spent the rest of that day in the hospital with Eli. I can never get that memory of Evangeline with glass and blood all over her. They said that it was a miracle that that chunk of sharp metal stuck in her chest didn't kill her instantly. They said that it had gone through her chest and out through her back. She had glass stuck everywhere, piercing major organs, yet she didn't die. They called her a miracle. Yet she died. I sat by Eli's bed day and night for a week. I didn't eat, speak, and barely slept. I had only changed once and that was when my parents forced me to get out of the blood stained ones from the crash. My parents agreed to adopt Eli after he got better. Then one day, I was sitting in Eli's bed holding him in my arms when all of the sudden he opened his eyes and smiled, just like the day he was born. He reached up and touched my cheek. That kid had me in tears. It was the first time I had smiled since the crash. He said 'Lauwen, I wove you.' I told him how much I love him too. He fell asleep again. That night, he died in my arms. I didn't let go until my parents had to force me to let go of him. They had to forcibly remove me from the hospital room and take me home. I locked myself in there for months. I lost a lot of weight. My parents attempted to get me to talk to a therapist but I didn't go. I didn't open the door. I went mute for a year and a half. I was so depressed. I'd just stare at walls in silence remembering the hanging bodies in that car. Remembering my second family. I stared at a photos of my family and Evangeline's family together during Christmas. Evangeline's mom and dad died in the crash. They were caring, loving, kind people. Evan died in the crash. He was Evangeline's nine-year-old brother. He was a kind-hearted little kid that only wanted others to smile. He couldn't stand to see people upset. He was a little brother and a friend to me. The sad thing is, Evangeline's mom had found out about two weeks before the crash that she was pregnant again with another kid. That baby didn't even get a chance to see the world and experience life. That child will never get the chance to live again. It was all my fault." I whispered the last part. But then got upset again. "Camila, it was all my fault. if I hadn't invited Evangeline over, this all wouldn't have happened. I was being selfish. Her whole family got in the car because of me. I told them how it can be a little gathering and when they left, Evangeline could just stay the night and they could come get her the next morning or we could drop her off. They agreed because of my pleading. I killed a whole family. Eli, Evan, the unborn baby, Evangeline's parents, and Evangeline were all killed because of ME! I KILLED THEM! CAMILA, I KILLED THEM!" I sobbed, choking on tears that wouldn't stop coming. I still feel guilt and shame to this day.