Chapter 38

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Danielle's POV

Lauren's home is really big. She gave us both our own rooms. It's already New Year's Day. But I miss Christmas. Taylor came over and her and I talked on and on forever. Lauren's whole family and the other girls made me feel really loved. I was given so much on Christmas day. But I like Lauren's gift even more. She gave me a journal with a really cool black and white cover. She also gave me a camera. Lauren was the only one who knew how much I like exploring, drawing, writing, and taking pictures. When we were in captivity she always let me use her camera. I guess she made the connection in her head that I liked photography.

Camila and I have also gotten sorta close. She keeps talking to me and interacting with me, so I've kind of let her in a bit. She's said she was going to take me out to buy everything for my room soon. I'm really excited for that.

I'm now seeing how close Lauren and Camila actually are. It's really cute. They're always calling each other stuff like 'beautiful' or 'baby' and it makes me really happy when I see that. My parents' relationship was never like that. It was always chaotic and abusive. Any foster parents I'd get would also be falling out and constantly fighting. Ever since I got here everyone has been really loving and caring. It's definitely something I'm not used to. But Lila is adjusting just fine. She's as happy as she can be. You can always hear her giggling down the hall as one of the girls chases her. Especially Normani. Those two are really close when Dinah is not around. Any other time Dinah and Normani are fighting for the big sister badge. So Lila always has someone to play with. And at dinner, Ally happily takes the place of Dinah and Normani and feeds Lila.

I don't really have that. No one has really noticed the fact that I don't want to eat. Lauren has pointed it out several times but I just cover it up by sticking something to eat in my mouth. I always end up spitting it back up into a napkin. I mean, the girls try to play around with me but I'm never really in the mood. Lauren and Camila have tried to talk to me on various occasions but I just push them away. I never mean to but I can't help it. I'm in too much pain to talk. And if I speak out about the trouble I'm having, I'll hurt them. No one wants someone who brings baggage. They want someone like Lila, who is happy and isn't much of a bother. So I rather shut everyone out and keep everything to myself than to admit that I feel like I'm dying and my world is falling apart. It feels like I have a hole in my chest and a heavy weight is sitting on my lungs. I constantly feel like crying and falling apart, but I just convince myself to keep going a little longer.

"DANIELLE CAN YOU COME DOWN HERE PLEASE?" Lauren yells from downstairs. I get up and walk down the hall to the top of the stairs and make my way down. When I reach the bottom I can hear the TV playing off in the distance, it's some sort of kid show. Dinah and Lila are probably watching TV together once again. I walk into the dining room where Lauren is sitting with her laptop in front of her. I walk over and sit in front of her, waiting for her to say something. She looks up at me and smiles. "Hey sweetie, I just wanted to tell you about what is going to happen in these next couple weeks." She says, looking me in the eye and then looking down at her laptop and typing something for a moment. I nod, motioning for her to continue. "So, you are aware that you have missed nearly a whole year of school, right?" She asks me. I just mumble a 'yeah', looking down into my lap where I was picking nervously at my nails.

"Your foster parents put you in school in the two months you were back in the system. But I want to get you tested so that we can put you in the grade you belong in. I've looked into some schools around in this area and I found a nice school that you might like. On Monday you and I are going to drive up there and get the paper work to enroll you. They've sent me the test you need to take in order for them to place you in your grade. And this will determine if they should hold you back a grade or keep you in the grade you are supposed to be in. Are you up for it?" She asks me. I feel my heart drop at the thought of school. I can't go back to school. I don't care if it's a new school, none of them have ever done me any good, other than the bruises on my skin. But I find myself nodding.

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