Intertwined

Chapter 13

Lauren's POV

I awake to an uncomfortable feeling that I'm being watched. When I open my eyes I am surprised to see Ally and Normani sitting on the couch on the left side of the room. The light coming in from the window behind them causes me to flinch. It's so damn bright. I immediately get a sharp pain in my head. I get up from the bed, careful to not fall down due to me being lightheaded, and walk over to where Ally and Normani are to shut the window. I quickly shut it and walk back to my bed while rubbing my temples. "Are you okay?" I hear Normani say. I just lay back down and turn onto my side with my back to them. I just ignore her. I hear a loud sigh and then silence. A few moments later Camila and Dinah walk in with a plastic bag. Since the door is on the right side of the room I am the first to see them. Both of them freeze when they see that I'm awake. "Hey Laur, how're you feeling?" Camila asks me with worried eyes. I just nod and turn to face the wall, staring numbly into it. 

Eventually, the same nurse from this morning came back. Without any arguing on my behalf, I took my pills and ate a quarter of the food on my plate. I was forced to eat more, of course, so I ended up eating three quarters of my food before I started feeling sick. The nurse ended it there and left. She had decided not to push me today after what had happened this morning and just let it slide. I spent the whole day staring at the wall blankly and just letting the demons take over. Camila had left a while ago for a meeting with the doctors to discuss treatment for me. Ally had to leave to because she had to go get something or whatever. Dinah and Normani just sat on the couch talking, sometimes whispering, and on their phones. They made several attempts to cheer me up but got the hint that I was not in the mood and that I had no capability of smiling at this point. 

A while later, Camila came back. She had a folder with papers in it. I'm assuming they are schedules and lists of my medications. It was already like 5 p.m. when Ally came back. She walked in with a hopeful smile on her face. She kept walking across the room when I heard more footsteps. My parents walked out and came over to where I was. I was taken aback because of their early arrival. After they hugged me I just sat there and stared at them with a confused expression on my face. Why are they here so early?

"Thank God you're okay! How are you? What happened?" My mom asked me. I just lied down once again, staring at the wall, ignoring them. I know it is rude and horrible to do to my parents, especially when they are worried, but I was just not in the mood to talk. I wasn't in the mood to do anything. I heard Camila sigh and ask my parents to go out in the hallway with her so that she can explain. She's probably going to tell them everything I have told her. And I mean EVERYTHING. Everything about my childhood and how I felt to Evangeline incident that affected me, the Leah incident, my eating, self harm, EVERYTHING. But whatever, like I care anymore.

Soon enough, my parents walked back in with Camila trailing behind them. As they walked past the foot of my bed I saw the faint tear trails on their cheeks and their eyes red. The same nurse from earlier walked in AGAIN with another tray of food and medication. I'm guessing it's dinner time. Great! (Note the sarcasm) I sat up, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked between me and the nurse to see my reaction or what I would say or do. I can tell they are waiting for me to refuse and rebel but they were taken aback and shocked when I grabbed the fork and ate my food silently without a fuss. I ate every last bit on the plate even though it was so extremely hard for my small stomach. I'm not used to eating that much. I felt the food still in my throat because I was so damn full. I was sure I would throw it all up but I didn't. The nursed handed me my medication and I took them all. When she left I lied back down and wrapped myself in the blanket hoping that everyone got the memo that I wanted to go to sleep although it was still early. A few minutes later after everyone finally stopped whisper-arguing everyone got up and made their way towards the door. I heard a few goodbyes but I didn't bother to say anything back. After everyone left (or so I thought) I sat up and was going to go to the window to look out but noticed that Camila was still here and sitting on the couch that was by the window. She was looking at me. I froze. "Your parents are worried about you." She says while making direct eye contact with me. "They were balling their eyes out in the hallway. They knew you had had a hard time when you were a kid with your body image and making friends. They knew how bad Evangeline's death affected you and how everything got bad again after Leah had died. They just never knew how bad you were struggling. They had no idea how much you were suffering. They had no idea what was going on with you and how pained you were...and still are." I sighed. No one knew. No one knows what is even going on now. "They wanted to stay but we convinced them to go back to the house and rest. It's been a long day. What I am wondering is what is going on in that beautiful little mind of yours. So, do you care to enlighten me?" 

I just shook my head and sat next to her on the couch, looking out the window. She just laughs lightly and shakes her head, "Alright then. It's okay. One day, hopefully." We sit in silence looking out the window for a while. Our thoughts filling up our minds and the air around us is light. There is no discomfort. 

The sun begins to set, making the sky an orange color as the clouds sit beautifully in the sky with warm colors taking over their white fluff. I feel Camila shifting and turn to look at her, she looks like she is debating whether to say something or not. "Do you want me to stay tonight or go? I know you aren't really in the mood and probably want to be alone but I don't know whether maybe you'd still like company." I just give her a small smile and shake my head. "No Camz, go home. Get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow." I whisper to her trying to keep a smile on my face. She just nods and gathers her things to leave. As she is about to head out she turns back to me and looks at me lovingly. She approaches me slowly and leans in close to my face. "I love you so much, okay? Don't forget that. Stay safe and keep fighting." Her lips connect with my forehead and linger there for a moment before she stand up again and leaves. 

I get up and walk over to my bed. I lay down again, wrap myself up in my blanket and close my eyes, drifting into a dreamless sleep.