Chapter 6

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I feel the car come to a stop and Camila lets go of my hand. My eyes are heavy as I try to open them. In the end I just give up and fell into a light sleep. Camila and I were back from our date. We had left at sunset and she took me out to a small Italian restaurant when we had finally got back to L.A. The ride from the restaurant to our house was about 45 minutes because we were nearly all the way across town. Thus, me falling asleep hand in hand with Camila. 

I felt Camila's arms slide under my thigh and around my waist as she carried me bridal style into the house and up to my room. My body was placed carefully on my bed and then the covers on my bed were placed over my body. Warmth consumed me as soon as the blankets were put on my body. Soft lips kiss my forehead and then footsteps walk away. When I hear the door close, I instantly fall asleep.

~

I was brought out of my deep sleep by a worrying feeling. This happens often. I wake up in the middle of the night because I get anxiety, and yes, I do get anxiety in my sleep. My body gets restless and I end up staying awake until the sun comes out. 

The sky is still dark out as I look out the window. I stand up and sit by my window, watching the sky. Some stars still cover the sky. The whole neighborhood is asleep and here I am watching the sky at five in the morning. But this is my thinking time so I won't complain.

Time passes slowly as I think about my life. There is a whole new sense of hope in me. Camila is mine now. She said she loves me. I love her. We may only be 18 but we found love. But there is still the horrific thought of Camila leaving me. I don't know what I'd do if she left. She has slowly been fixing me. I don't want her to shatter me again. I just pray that she will stay.

As I refocus on the sky, I notice that the sky has begun to turn a bright orange color. I sit there for a couple more minutes watching the sun peek over the horizon. I feel arms wrap around my waist. When I turn around I see Camila smiling at me.

"The sky is beautiful." She says.

"Yeah"

I feel her hot breath on my neck and my neck hairs rise. Her soft, warm lips trail kisses from my neck to my ear. She turns me around and gently kisses my lips. "I love you, beautiful." She whispers with a smile. Tears well up in my eyes and I quickly look away. 

"Lo, hey. Look at me." Camila says placing her index finger under my chin and lifting my head up. "What's wrong?"

"I'm afraid that this won't last. I don't want you to fix me if you are just gonna shatter me again. I don't want to lose you Camz. You make me happy. And the way you make me feel is something that I've never felt before. Just please don't leave me. I don't wanna be alone again." I said as a tear slides down my cheek.

"Lauren, I'm not going anywhere. Take a piece of my heart and make it all your own so when we are apart, you'll never be alone. I will always be here and I will always love you. When you fall asleep, remember we still sleep under the same stars. When I look at them from now on, I will think of you. I love you okay? I don't wanna lose you either. I'm right here. One day I will be able to call you my wife, and I fucking swear, that day will be the happiest day of my life, Lo. You'll never be alone. I'm right here." Right when she finished was the moment I burst out crying in tears of happiness. My arms wrapped around her neck and I squeezed her tight. The hug lasted for a moment before she picked me up in one swift move and took me over to my bed. She laid us both down and positioned me so that my head was on her chest and her arm was rubbing my back. Her free hand ran through my hair, untangling all the knots in it. "Thank you for everything Camz."

"No problem, Lo."

We stayed like that until we both fell asleep. 

~

Camila's POV

It kills me to see her like this. I know for sure that I love her and I want to help her recover. She's been through a lot. Seeing her in pain completely breaks my heart. The sadness in her gorgeous, green eyes brings tears to my eyes. She is so skinny, it worries me. The way her cheeks are so hollow and her hands shake from being so cold due to her starving. Her thighs aren't even close to touching. She may be my age but she is way smaller than me. Carrying her is never a problem because she is so light. She can't walk for very long or do much because it tires her out immediately; she is so weak most of the time that sometimes she isn't strong enough to open a bottle of water. The exhaustion is clear on her face and her body movement. The bags under her eyes give me even more reason to go sleep with her during the night so I could keep my eye on her and make sure she sleeps. I think I'll do just that. I'll sleep in her room for the next few days and keep my eye on her. 

I love her too much to lose her...

~

Lauren's POV

A few hours later

Camila has decided to take me out to eat some lunch since we slept through breakfast. When we arrive at the pizza place Camila gets us a table and orders our pizza. A smile spreads across my lips as I see her forehead crease and her thinking face appear. A frown comes upon her features and then she looks up at me and meets my stare. A blush spreads across my face and I look away trying to hide it. She smiles at me and grabs my hand from across the table. 

When our pizza arrived, we made small talk as we ate.

"So how is your candy?" I ask with a playful smile on my lips.

"AMAZING! LAUREN CAN YOU GIVE ME YOUR PURSE?!" 

"Here." I give her my purse which still held her candy from yesterday. When I look up again, Camila has a handful of candy in her hand. "CANDY!" She exclaims, hugging her candy. I smile and continue to eat my pizza slice without thinking much about it because I was distracted by Camila's affection towards her candy. 

I looked down at my plate after a few minutes and saw that it was empty. My stomach dropped. 

I ate. I ate a whole slice of pizza.

Fat

Stupid

Failure

The screams of my demons got louder. Camila stopped her obsessing over candy when she saw how upset I was. "I ate it Camz. I'm gonna get fat. I failed. Now everyone is gonna hate me." I shuddered at the thought of everyone hating me. My anxiety got even worse and before I knew it, I was crying and rocking back and forth as I got light-headed from my uneven breathing. The panic attack got worse when I felt someone touch me. I freaked out and started to lash out. The person grabbed my flailing arms and pinned them at my sides. Their arms wrapped around me and my heart started to beat at the speed of light at the sudden contact. I suddenly realized it was Camila when I smelled the familiar strawberry scent she has. She ran her fingers through my hair and whispered soothing things in my ear. My breathing finally slowed down and I relaxed. We decided to leave after that. 

On the way home, Camila started to make a conversation with me.

"You know Lauren, I won't leave your side. You WILL recover and be able to eat without thinking about it. I know it's hard but I will be here to support you. I love you Lauren and I want the best for you."

"I love you too Camz." With that, we interlocked our hands and we drove the rest of the way home in a comfortable silence.

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