Intertwined

Chapter 32

Lauren's POV

I've lost track of time in this place. All I know is that it's dark and whenever I fall asleep I get beat. They kick me and slap me really hard. If I thought I was in pain before...I completely wrong. The pain within me is so excruciating that I just don't want to breathe. I don't want to move. And as much as I want to, I can't cry. Every single thing I do pains me. From the physical to emotional to the very same blood running in my veins. Everything hurts. And I'm not even allowed to sleep so I have no escape from it all.

I wish I could be with my family right now at this moment. No matter how mad I had been at them, I forgive them. All this time here has given me time to think. They only wanted the best for me and I see that now. I don't care if I didn't have a choice. I was dying and in the wrong state of mind, I couldn't see that they just wanted me to get better so I can live. And Camila...I forgive her too. How I saw it all before was that I trusted her and she, in a way, betrayed me by agreeing to put me in a nuthouse. But now I see that she loved me too. She couldn't stand to see me in the pain I had been in. Shit, me being the blind fucker I am, couldn't even completely appreciate that she had been by my side every step of the way. Thinking back on it all, I see the bags under her eyes and hear her crying while I was asleep in my hospital bed. But I just ran away from it all when there were people that genuinely cared for me.

But thinking of all of this, an idea comes to mind that changes my whole perspective of everything. If Evangeline, her family, and Leah had not died and I hadn't gotten depressed, anorexic, suicidal, pill addicted, and everything else....I wouldn't have met Dani and Lila. If I hadn't gone through all of that I wouldn't have gone to try out for the X Factor and become part of Fifth Harmony. I wouldn't have been admitted into a hospital or gotten into a relationship with Camila. I wouldn't have run away and then gotten myself sold into prostitution. And if I hadn't gotten sold I wouldn't have gotten raped by Lloyd. If I didn't get raped by Lloyd I wouldn't have cut so deep. And if I hadn't cut so deep I wouldn't have met Lena and Lena wouldn't have told me what she did and then get killed because of it. If Lena hadn't gotten murdered I wouldn't have gotten so close with Danielle and Lila and I probably wouldn't have escaped. And, finally, if I didn't escape I wouldn't be here. But in a very strange way I find that calming. The fact that everything bad that had happened to me led to this is frightening but soothing because I got to have the best times of my life in the process. I got through the X Factor and met four amazing girls and got to perform in front of all of our wonderful fans. That, itself, got me into a relationship with Camila. Without everything bad happening I wouldn't have met her or the other girls. I wouldn't have met thousands of beautiful fans that spread love through thick and thin. And I wouldn't have gotten to meet two amazing little girls named Lila Adams and Danielle Williams. Without all of this I wouldn't have met them and they wouldn't have changed my life like they have. I also would have never gotten them out of there if none of the bad had happened to me. They would have been raised in that house before Lloyd eventually got bored and murdered all of them. So I'm pretty content now. I take back what I said before, if I could go back and change what I have done, I wouldn't change a thing. At least now that I have found peace within myself I can die without regrets. This time that I have gotten to myself has changed everything. And boy am I glad it did.

The lights turn on suddenly and then there are a bunch of footsteps walking towards me. I just close my eyes bracing myself for my next injection and/or beating but nothing comes. I feel the ropes on my feet being untied. "Get up." The voice of the leader instructs me loudly. I open my eyes and begin to try to stand up but I can't, I just fall back down. I'm too weak to move. Everything is blurry and the room is spinning. "Did you not hear me?! GET UP!" He yells at me. I have only been able to get as far as getting onto my hands and knees.