The Father

Chapter 31

I stare at my reflection in the floor mirror in the corner of the bathroom, I'm naked, and have a full view of myself. I've lost weight, clearly, it's obvious. My face is thinner, I can tell even though I've grown out a beard for the first time in my life, but I focus on the bullet wounds.

They all look about the same, I can't see the one beneath my cast, of course, but the rest are in plain view. They've just taken the stitches out not even twenty minutes ago and it's the first time I'm really looking at them. They're red and bruised, I easily run my fingers across them, and cringe at the way my skin feels. That scar tissue will be there forever, I know that.

I tear myself away and slowly pull on my sweatshirt, briefs, sweatpants, and a single tennis shoe on my right foot.

I've done my physical therapy every single day for two weeks. Helena has been to some of the appointments, but I've barely spoken to her. I don't quite understand what she's doing here still. After what I've done, after everything she read and saw, I've been surprised that she's shown her face to me again. But she's not here today, I told her I didn't want her here, and instead called Julianne. She's visited me plenty since I woke up, Scout flew in the day after I woke up, but had to get back to California. Plenty of cops have visited me, too, my fathers old friends, people I used to work with.

Julianne is sitting in a chair next to the bed when I come out of the bathroom on my crutches. I'm thankful they're forearm ones and not underarm ones, but they still suck to have to use. She smiles and stands.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, very."

She's already gathered my things together. I've put my watch and pinky ring back on, but left my wedding ring in that bag. She hasn't said a word about it, but I know she's dying to know what's going on.

"I'm surprised Lena and the kids aren't here."

"Yeah, well... Let's get going."

I plan to tell her in the car that we're getting a divorce. I haven't decided if I'll go into all of the details, but I might. At this point, I don't really care anymore. I've checked my phone every single time it's buzzed in the hopes that's it's Katherine, but it hasn't been. It's made me bitter, angry, and mean.

I've kept up the news pretty well to keep myself distracted. Graham is about to go to trial. I was asked to testify, but I haven't decided yet. That man took everything from me, if he hadn't shot me I'd be with Katherine right now, I'm sure of it. I don't know if I'd be capable of controlling myself in the court room. I don't want to see his face.

Julianne helps me into the wheelchair, I didn't want to use one, but I guess you have to when you're being discharged after something like this. When we make it to the lobby I'm thankful there aren't any reporters out here. They wouldn't even know I was getting out of here today unless someone tipped them off.

"Let me get the car. I'll be right back."

I watch as she walks quickly toward the parking lot, then close my eyes and tilt my head back. The air is extremely cold and usually I would hate it, but right now I don't mind. It's my first breath of fresh air since I was shot. And it makes me want a cigarette, but I don't have any. Even a simple cigarette makes me think of her.

Julianne is pulling up in her car and wheeling me to the passenger side. After I've gotten inside a nurse takes the wheelchair and she gets into the car. The radio is on and I instantly turn it off when I realize that Pink Floyd is what's playing. My favorite band can't even be my favorite band anymore. She's tainted and ruined it.

"I assume we're going to your house?"

"No, I need to go to the bank. And then home."

"The bank? Why do you need to go to the bank?"