Recovery

Epilogue

Epilogue

I walk slowly through the cemetery, a handful of yellow roses in my hand. My dress is white and flowing, and my hair is falling around my face. It's past my shoulders now, having grown an inch or so in the last month.

As I near the fairly new headstone, I don't panic. I always thought that I would when I saw it again, but that was before.

I stop in front, and look at the name carved into the marble slab.

Cheyenne Sophia Parker

I get down on my knees in front of the stone, and take a deep breath. Not because I'm overcome with emotions, which would have been the reason just a month ago.

No, I sit down because, ever since my little drowning extravaganza, I've been having problems with my breathing anytime I do any form of physical activity. The doctor told me that it's fairly common, and should go away within a few months. Until then, however, I can't walk for too long without getting winded.

I stay silent for a moment, twirling the ring on my finger around as my breathing regulates.

It was on my finger when I woke up in the hospital. Avery must have put it on me as they were loading me into the ambulance.

He never did come to see me in the hospital- no one from the ranch did. Not by choice, of course.

When I woke up, I was in a California Hospital my parents had had me transferred to. My Mom was asleep in the chair beside my bed. I guess that Chey had been right.

I take a deep breath, and smile at the marble stone in front of me.

"Hey," I say softly, laying the flowers down in front of the headstone. "I haven't been here since- well, since your funeral, really."

I pause, continuing to swirl the ring around. I look down at it and frown.

"You were right about my parents. They do care. They've been nicer to me since I came back. Mom's been making an effort to get to know me, and Dad, too. I've tried to let them in- I told them about Trigger, and about how much I loved being around horses at the ranch. They told me that, after I got better, they'd buy me a horse if I wanted. Of course, I told them I had not the slightest idea of how to take care of a horse. And, honestly, I don't think I could stand to be around horses again after what happened to Trigger. But, its the thought that counts, right?"

I sigh, staring at the ground. I still wish I could have found a way to save him. He was the best thing that ever happened to me, and now he's gone, maybe dead. I wish, more than anything, that I had him back. Or even, that I could know if he was safe rather than just wondering.

"I still think about what you showed me every day. I'm terrified that Avery might still die. Even though I lived, he's still messed up, and part of that is my fault. He's broken. I broke him. I can't even try to fix him because I can't contact him. I never got his phone number, you know."

I start to laugh, shaking my head.

"That's crazy. I fell in love with this guy, and now he's across the country and I have absolutely no way to contact him. No way to tell him I'm sorry. No way to tell him that I didn't try to kill myself, that it was an accident, that it wasn't his fault," I snort. "No way to tell him that, despite everything, I think I love him."

I frown, but my eyes are completely dry. I don't cry anymore. What's happened has happened, and I'm not going to let that ruin my life.

"You know, everyone thinks I tried to kill myself. No one believes that it was an accident. Even Jace. I don't blame them thought- I wouldn't believe me, either. My parents actually checked me into a rehabilitation center that specialized in psychological disorders of teens. At least, that's how they described it to me. Really, it was just like a hospital, except I had no connection at all to the outside world, and everyone was always asking me what I was feeling. I don't know. It was very weird, but not really overly unpleasant."

I run my fingers over the Chey's name on the headstone thoughtfully.

"Dr. Farrow told me I should come out here. She said it would help me find closure. But you know- I think I already have. So, that's not why I'm here. I'm here because I want to tell you thank you. Thank you for waiting for me. Thank you for saving me, Chey," I whisper. "And, I wanted to give you this."

Hesitantly, I unlatch my locket from my neck. I hold it tightly in my hand, and take a deep breath.

"You know, I relied on this necklace like a lifeline. Which is crazy, because it's just an object. I think I needed to depend on it, though. I wanted to keep you close to me, and this was the only way I knew how. But I'm letting go," I say, hanging it carefully over the corner of the stone.

"I miss you, Chey. I don't think I'll ever stop missing you," I say thoughtfully. "But, at least now, I've learned how to live without you. And its the hardest thing I've ever had to learn."

A/N

This book is over.

Now, can I just say how grateful I am for every single one of you? I was so excited to write this book, but I doubted I'd get too many reads on it. I never thought it would be so successful and well liked! I don't have words to describe how thankful I am for your nice comments and messages. You guys make me want to be a better writer, and person.

I'd also like to say thank you to Hailey (@tacobelltuesday) Thank you for everything- you have no idea how much you inspire me! Anytime I write something (a book or a grocery list) you are the first person I want to show. Thanks for everything, chica! I love you, and can't wait to see you this summer (or hopefully, much much sooner)

I guess there's nothing else left to say.

Goodnight My Lovelies