Recovery

Chapter 19

"Grace, do you want to go on a ride?" Laurel asks.

We all just finished with lunch, and I'm heading up to my room to call Jace.

"Yeah, but do we have to go right now? I want to call a friend," I answer, offering a small smile.

"No, but don't take too long," she replies.

"I won't."

I head to my room and search for my phone, eventually finding it on my dresser under the shirt I wore yesterday. Oops.

I dial Jace's number, waiting patiently for him to pick up.

"Grace?" he asks, his voice tense and tired.

"Yeah. What's up, you sound upset."

He sighs on the other end, but doesn't say anything at first.

"Jace?" I call, anxiously awaiting an answer.

"I got in a fight," he mumbles.

"What? Why? With who? Do you want me to beat then up, because I totally will," I snap, anger coursing through me.

"One question at a time," he wryly laughs. "I got in a fight. I went down to Chey's grave and Justin was there and I got mad. Everything you told me about that bastard just came back to me and I couldn't help myself."

"What? Justin was there? That son if a-"

"Grace, it's okay. After what happened today I doubt he'll be going back there."

"I'm not angry that he was there today. I'm angry that he thinks he had the right to be there in the first place. That asshole is the reason Chey is dead." Tears start to flood my eyes, but I press them back. I take a deep breath. Once I feel confident in my ability to speak without crying, I whisper. "He has no right."

"I know. That's why I attacked him," Jace quietly replies.

"Did you get in trouble?" I ask.

"Grounded for two weeks. Not aloud to leave the house."

"That's harsh," I snort, leaning against the pillows piled up on my bed.

"I agree."

"Well Jace, I have to go. Laurel and I are going on a trail ride," I mumble. "Talk to you later?"

"Yeah. Bye Grace."

"Bye."

Once I hear a click on the other end, I allow myself to cry for a minute. A few tears fall from my eyes, and I bury my head in my knees.

Justin. I wish he were dead. He drove Chey into a pit of depression. He killed her- its no different than if he had cut her himself.

A glint of silver catches my eyes. My razor. I was shaving last night, and brought it back to the room with me. It's sitting on my dresser, silently beckoning to me.

I blink rapidly and turn away, running out of my room. I can't. I won't do that to myself again.

Distracted, I don't see Ivy in front of me, and I run into her.

"So I'm going on the trails with you and Laurel," she pipes, smiling.

"Great," I monotonously say, annoyed at her happiness.

"It's going to be so fun! I think that maybe we'll go on a trail that leads to a bridge, it's so pretty! I've only been there twice, but it's absolutely gorgeous. Aren't you excited," she squeals.

Now, normally I'd offer a tight grin and politely say I'm excited. But I'm in no mood. I'm vulnerable and broken and I can't take it.

So I snap.

"No, I'm not excited Ivy. In fact, I'm very unexcited. I'm not happy, I don't think it's going to be fun. Because, unlike you, I don't think everything is happy and peachy and aglow with the light of a million fairies. Can't you just for once be normal and human, instead of a cross between a unicorn and a freaking pixie," I sarcastically snarl. "Can't you just be depressed like the rest of us? Why, please tell me why you are here if you are happy all the time. I thought this was supposed to be a place for troubled, depressed psychos like me. But you're the opposite. You don't belong here."

Her expression hardens, in a mix of anger and shock. But when she speaks, her voice is calm and airy.

"Do you want to know why I'm happy all the time? Why I see the best in everything? Why I am the way I am?" she questions, arching an eyebrow.

I stare pointedly at her, but don't speak, already starting to regret snapping at her.

"You know, I had a sister. She was my identical twin- Holly. Yes, Holly and Ivy, like the Christmas carol. Our parents are a bit strange," she starts, eyeing me cautiously.

"She went to the doctors when she was about thirteen. He noticed something strange and ordered a couple tests. She had a brain tumor. A cancerous brain tumor."

"We tried everything. Chemo, radiation, experimental treatments. Nothing worked. Nothing," Ivy sighs, blinking back tears. Her gaze is distant, as if she forgot I was here.

"She died last year," she whispers, blinking back tears. "But before she did, she made me promise that I would live for the both of us."

"Ivy I'm so so-"

"I don't want an apology," she snaps, cutting me off. "But now you know. Now you know why I'm always happy. People handle grief differently, you should know that."

She points at my wrists, her eyes fiery.

"But I belong here just as much as everyone else. So don't open your mouth unless you know what you're talking about."

And with that, she turns on her heels and storms away, leaving me standing alone in the hallway, too shocked to move.

A/N

I know this is an insanely short chapter. I wrote it while getting a pedicure. There will probably only be one more chapter before I go off to camp, FYI.

Please don't stop reading because of the two week break. I'm leaving this Sunday (June 29) and won't be getting back till July 11.

Also, on the subject of Ivy's confession: BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE, KABOOM, KABOOM

Love you guys!