Recovery

Chapter 45

We all watched a movie- Mean Girls- after dinner. The guys moaned and groaned and complained, but they all laughed when we did. They'd never admit it, but I'm pretty sure they enjoyed it.

I was able to enjoy it, too, as both Avery and Tesse weren't there. I didn't waste time wondering what they were doing. Everything between he and I is over- he can screw whoever he wants for all I care.

After the movie, everyone slowly but surely makes their way to their bedrooms- myself included.

Jace and I amble down the hallway, hitting his room first.

"I have to leave tomorrow morning," he says.

I stop and turn to him, a frown appearing on my face. "What?"

"I can't stay here forever," he says, and we start walking again. "Besides, I don't trust my parents to take care of Wally for that long. They mean well, but they can be pretty forgetful."

I sigh, leaning into him. "I guess you're right. I'll miss you though."

"I know. I'll miss you, too."

We stop at his door, and he turns to me.

"Wake me up before you leave?" I ask.

"Of course."

I lean up and place a kiss on his cheek. "Goodnight, Jace."

"Goonight."

I head to my room alone, stripping out of my day clothes once I get there. I slip on a pair of pajama shorts, and a sea green tank top.

No sooner than I'm dressed, the door to my room swings open. My eyes flit to the door, and a scowl comes across my face.

"There's this thing called knocking. Had you walked in five seconds earlier, I wouldn't have been dressed," I snapped.

Avery's raises an eyebrow, but doesn't respond.

"Besides, I thought I told you that I didn't want to talk to you. I'm through with being polite, Avery. Screw off."

"Grace, I will leave, just listen for one second," he pleads. "I know you don't want to believe me, and that you want to make me out as an evil monster, but I swear I didn't attack Jace. He just started punching me out of the blue, and I had to defend myself. I was just defending myself."

My eyes light up with fire, and I take a step towards him.

"You had him pinned against a wall! Your hands were on his throat, Avery! And now, just like me, he has finger shaped bruises. Maybe it was just self defense, but you took it too far. There is a line, and you crossed it," I growl, subconciously gravitating closer to him.

"Grace, I'm sorry. Really I am," he whispers, taking a step closer to me.

I realize that we're extremely close to each other, his face only inches from mine.

He leans down closer to me, leaving only an inch or two between our lips. I can feel his breath softly tickle my face.

I reach my hand up, placing a single finger on his lips.

"Do you know when the words 'I'm Sorry' starts to lose their meaning?" I ask, my voice soft. "When you continue to do the things you are apologizing for."

I drop my hand from his lips and press it to his chest, shoving him away from me.

"Now leave," I say, "so I can sleep"

He opens his mouth to object, and then shuts it again.

"Okay," he says after a while. "Goodnight, Grace."

Once he's gone, I sigh and collapse onto my bed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was never afraid of the dark before Chey died. Never once did I wake up in a cold sweat, pulling my covers up to my neck and clenching my eyes shut, afraid to see the darkness around me.

But now that she has died, it seems that every night, I'm fighting off the darkness.

Sleeping in the bed with Avery temporarily remedied my nightmares, but as I sit up in my bed, cold sweat coating my body, I know my vacation from my own mind is over.

I crack my eyes open, and stare up at the ceiling, watching the fan spin in circles. I try desperately to fall back to sleep, but fail miserably.

I groan in frustration and jump out of bed, peeling of my sweat drenched clothes and trading them in for a clean pair of pajama shorts and a cotton tank. I go into my bathroom and wash my face with cold water, before going back into my room

A glance at the clock lets me know its half past 1 am, and I should definitely still be asleep.

I step out of my room, and walk aimlessly up and down the hallway, almost jealous of all the people sleeping peacefully behind the closed doors.

I stop in front of Avery's door, and sigh when I see a faint glow coming from under his door, as if he has his lamp on, or maybe a laptop.

'He's awake,' I think to myself. 'He's awake, too.'

I place my hand on the doorknob. I hesitate.

Yes, I could open the door and go in there. Yes, I could let him hug me, and I could cry into his chest. Yes, he would make me feel better, and I'd be able to fall asleep in his arms.

I could do all of those things. I could take him back. I could choose to believe that he would never hurt me again- I could forgive him.

But that wouldn't be right for either of us, least of all me.

Besides, I'm leaving in less than a month. It's better this way. Really.

Slowly, but without a doubt in my mind, I let go of the doorknob and take a step back.

A few tears fall from my eyes when I come across a startling realization- Avery's room used to be my safe place.

But now?

Now, I have no safe place.

A/N

A short chapter?

Yes.

Why?

I'm going to update two chapters today!

You heard me.

Two chapters.

Why?

Because I feel awful about not updating for so long. So, so long.

Too long.

There will be a much longer author's note with the next chapter.

Expect the next update sometime before 11:59 PM Eastern Time