The End of Summer

- Thirteen

Adisyn's Journal

I loved you so fucking much I forgot how much I hated myself. I forgot about all my problems and even though I wasn't perfect I felt perfect because you made me feel perfect. You made my life complete when it wasn't. I loved you so much I felt like I was in a fairytale.  The love you had for me was like a fairytale. It felt unreal to love someone and feel like your life was a fairytale.

Our story was like a fairytale. The only problem is that every fairytale comes to an end and our fairytale came to an end a little to soon.

- Kay

•••

I wonder if you ever lay in bed and think about me the way I think about you.

- Kay

•••

Your name hurts.

I think about you constantly. I feel you everywhere, everything reminds me of you.

I hate that I'm constantly reminded of you, I hate that more than anything because it hurts me too much.

- Kay

•••

Why can't I forget about you?

- Kay

•••

Adisyn Kay Wise

"Are you going to answer his offer though?" Jade asks sipping her coffee as we walk around. I shrug "I mean it's a wonderful offer? You can't just let it go like that?"

I don't know.

I really don't know anything right now.

I want to go with him but I can't bring myself to tell him? The dinner is in two days and I can't find myself to tell him I want to go? It's too hard. It's challenging to tell him because I'm afraid next time I have an interaction with him like that it will be stronger.

There's no actual reasoning on why I felt the way I did.

I think it was just deja vu but I've never experienced something like that where I heard his voice and I could swear I felt him offer me that? It felt so weird because I haven't seen him in two years but it felt so realistic because I felt him asking me?

I think that's also part of what's bringing me to wanting to say yes.

"Let's just continue with the groceries," I say picking up some tomatoes.

•••

I take a bite of the sandwich as the nice lady brings me my coffee and a cup of water that I asked for. I smile at her and unpause my show.

I'm still binge watching Grey's Anatomy. I really want to finish the seasons so I can rewatch the first seasons, I think the first 5 seasons were my favorites? I don't like these ones, they're okay but I definitely prefer the first 5 ones.

I hated Christina with Owen, it felt like Owen just manipulated her? Like it was draining on her?It felt like that relationship was filled with manipulation?

Honestly, many of the relationships shown were so toxic it was sickening.

But overall, I liked the show? It's nice to watch something that keeps me occupied as I do work.

"Coffee with two sugar and two creamer," I hear a familiar voice speak behind me so I turn around.

It's Reed.