lyricist°l.jn [editing]

chapter thirty: hate

  "Can't you just lie that you've broken up with him?" Deiji suggests through the phone and Jinkyong kicks a pebble- sending it rolling down the hill.

  "I've actually, thought about doing that too but... I don't want to put Jeno through it," Kyo says. "I could lie saying that we broke up and still maintain the relationship but to make it believable, Jeno and I wouldn't be allowed to go out on dates or even meet up.
  "My father has eyes everywhere. He'll see through my bluff if we don't maintain distance. Being in a relationship but unable to do anything would be like, chains on Jeno. It'll just hold him back and I don't want that."

  Her cousin shivers. "No offense but, your dad is a bit craz- you know what, I'm not even gonna say it."

  "It's fine. It's something I can't deny, either," Jinkyong responds, knowing what she's about to say.

  "Can't you like report him or something? Like alright, I get it, he's family and all but this is getting out of hand."

  Kyo leans against the street lamp. "That's exactly what makes it harder to win. He's family, my father, to be exact so obviously, most people will follow the words of the adult.
  "Second, I won't exactly have any strong enough, solid proof that I'm being followed. Third, I have a history of getting therapy and all so he might use the excuse of me being 'mentally unstable' to justify his actions."

  A sigh is heard from the other line. "I hate to say it but, you have it tough and I don't know what I can do to help."

  "Talking to me like this is enough. It's good to rant it out."

  A pause follows and Kyo wonders what the other is thinking of when she suddenly, sounds again.

  "So, when exactly are you going to break up with Jeno?"

  The nightmarish thought makes Jinkyong tighten her grip on the phone. "The end of this month. But-"

  She hesitates and Deiji furrows.

  "But what?"

  "I plan on... making him hate me before then," the younger says feebly fiddles with the hems of her shirt.

  Another moment of silence.

  "Bitxh, why would you want to do that??" Deiji angrily blurts and Kyo can only sigh- already expecting this from her.

  "If he hates me and we break up, it'll be easier for him to not feel regret about it or yearn. He'll remember me as a bad experience and would find it easier to move on," Jinkyong explains with a gloomy tone.

  Honestly, she doesn't want to do it. It tears her, and knowing that he's gonna get hurt too for something that's not even his fault, shreds her.

  I shouldn't have asked him to date me, she thinks guiltily in her head.

  "I'll...talk to you later again," she says and exchanges goodbyes with Deiji before hanging up.

  The sunlight reflects against her dark phone screen into her squinting eyes and she lifts her head to the sky.

  Seeing the bright, sunny weather only makes her feel more weighty- it evokes a sad feeling and she pushes herself of the lamp to distract herself when someone abruptly latches onto her from behind.

  "Kyo~! Did you miss me?" Jeno says with his chin on her shoulder and lips pecking her cheek.

  Her heart leaps and a smile stretches but every sweet moment also comes with the reminder of her approaching separation.  

  She puts her hands over his arms that are encased around her waist from his aggressive hug attack as he continues to snuggle close.
"I did. Are you ready to go?"

  He nods and she starts walking- waddling left and right with him still clinging onto her like a koala.

  They haven't even parted but she's already yearning and missing his crazy antics.