Bits of Chemistry | ✓

Kabanata 15

Kabanata 15

Etienne kept on insisting that he would hurt me back. He would like to see me suffer. And he wants to return all the ill feelings that he got from me.

Weh?

Pero di ko naman maramdaman.

Pakiramdam ko niloloko lang n'ya ang sarili n'ya. Feeling lang n'ya nasisira n'ya buhay ko, di n'ya alam ay naguguluhan lang ako sa mga kinikilos n'ya.

Etienne's not even the worst kind when it comes to bothering me. What he have done so far is only child's play.

Nagiging cute lang siya sa paningin ko. Parang batang nagpapapansin, ampota. Kiss ka ba ni Mama? Palitan na ba kita ng diapers? Gusto mo bang i-hele kita? I-breastfeed? I cringed.

Kaloka!

"'Yon na 'yon?" I snickered because Etienne tied my bag on my armchair. Isip bata! Ipulot ko kaya ito sa kan'ya?!

Naiwan tuloy ako sa klase hanggang hapon dahil sa buhol nito. Gusto ko nga sanang putulin na lang ang strap kaso wala rin akong gunting at dahil wala akong close sa mga kaklase ko ay walang sumama sa akin maiwan.

As I finished untying my bag. I sense someone approaching me. Nilingon ko naman agad ito.

"Sayang di ko nalagyan ng bato sa loob," Etienne smiled as he neared me. Tinawanan ko lang siya.

"Buhatin mo bag ko," marahas kong binato sa kan'ya ang bag. Sinalo naman ito ni Etienne.

"Excuse me?"

"You tied my bag because you want us to meet here, right? Late ka rin kasi uuwi dahil isa ka sa mga isasali para sa scimatech month."

He didn't respond. This guy, really, he's too obvious.

Alam kong mahirap basahin si Etienne subalit para sa akin ay madali lang ito. He says one thing but acts otherwise. Lalo na ngayon ay mas napapansin ko ito. Etienne frowned at me. Agad siyang bumuntonghininga at kinuha ang bag ko.

That's right.

I'm still incharge.

There's something about being in control that makes you feel euphoric and satisfied. Lalo na pagdating sa mga tao. When you have control over someone, it feels like they trust you. So much. That even if you betray them and make them feel worthless. . . They'll still come back to you and treat you like their home.

I don't know what to call that kind of loyalty besides being stupid, of course. Bakit ka babalik sa sinaktan ka na? Dinurog ka na? Nagawa kang talikuran?

Kasi mahal mo.

I swallowed hard. Guilt slowly engulfing my system. Kung mahal nga talaga ako ni Etienne at pinapahalagahan, why would he want to hurt me back? He fails terribly though. Mas nakikita ko pa ngang may pakialam pa siya kumpara sa gusto n'ya talagang iparating.

Bumaling ako ng tingin sa nakabusangot na Etienne habang hawak-hawak ang bag ko. My heart throbbed as I watched him carefully holding my bag. He still trusts me? Despite of what I did? Lalo ako'ng kinakain ng hiya dahil dito. I really want to fix what's remaining between the two of us.

"Etienne, I want to talk about us." walang paligoy-ligoy kong saad.

"Wala pang tayo," Etienne lazily smirked. "Ikaw naman ang advance mo. Dinala ko lang bag mo binigyan mo na agad ako ng label? Obsessed much, Lavy?"

"Sasapukin na kita," banta ko sa kan'ya. Lalo lang siyang natawa. Kumunot naman ang noo ko.

"Totoo nga, I want to say something. . ."