XPLR WITH ME PREVIEW

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One day I will understand. One day I will be someone. Not today, definitely not today. But one day? Yes. One day people will know my name. Junior year. I will no longer be the little girl who is afraid of being seen.

I knew this day was coming. My parents started being around less and less, my friends started to push me away more and more. I am alone. Everyday is the same. Wake up, go to work, come home, sleep. That's all I ever do. But now I have school. Maybe this year I'm able to come out of my shell. Maybe, maybe not. The only thing I know is that things need to change in my life. I don't need to hide.

"Penny, did you hear me?" My mom says across the table. My hand snaps up from my plate. I blink a few times and glance at my family. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you're ready for school. Do you have everything you need packed? Do you have your schedule?" She asks me. I nod my head, "Yes, I do. I got it ready earlier today."

"What about you, Sam?" She asks my older brother.

     Sam is my older brother. He's a senior this year, but he is attending mostly college courses. He has always been a head of the game when it comes to school, he's undeniably a genius. Also, extremely creative. Him and his best friend, Colby, have become pretty popular on the internet. Though, it's not my thing, I do love that he has been able to express his love for production. If production counts as filming videos in dark abandoned building with his friends. He tries his best to include me in his social life, but I have never been interested in what they do. I do like to watch his videos, but only to see him freak like a baby when a bird chirps or a squirrel runs next to him.

     I tune back in to the conversation when my parents begin asking me more questions about school. They both know I'm not excited, but they try their best to get me excited.

I finish my food and excuse myself to my room. I pick out my clothes for the next day as well as some pajamas.

     I'm not sure what I'm expecting this year. Maybe I'll make some new friends or finally get a boyfriend. I'm not the most interesting person, I've never been. Maybe that's why people overlook me so much. I guess I understand, I'm the quiet girl who sits in the back. Most people don't even know that Sam is my brother, and when they find out, they're usually shocked because of how different we are.

Now that I'm in my junior year I need to start to think about college. I'm not sure what I want to do with my life yet. Sam has decided that he isn't going back to school, considering how successful he already is. I, on the other hand, have a lot to consider. I have no idea of who I am or who I can become. I'm just a mediocre girl living a mediocre life.

First Day of School

     I get out of Sam's car with my head down. Sam and Colby greet their friends with handshakes and laughs. "Senior year, baby!" Colby tells and shoots his arm up. I roll my eyes and hurry in front of them. I try my best to stay away from them during school. There's plenty of younger girls that try to get into my life to get to them. They "fangirl" over my brother and his friend and as a result I'm the one who is bombarded with fake smiles and fake friends. That's why I'm afraid to get close to someone. There's only so many people I trust and I don't think I'm ready to let anybody else in.

     "Penny!" I hear my friend call. I turn around and see Josie and Madi waking towards me. I give them a soft smile and wave. I haven't seen them much over the summer. They were too busy hanging out together. I'm not angry at them for avoiding me, but I am sad. I miss being happy and having fun with them. They're just too busy for me.

     They catch up to me as I wait at the door. "What's your schedule? We have gym together first period. What about you?" Madi asks me.

     I look down at my schedule and take a deep breath and nod my head. "Yep, I got the same." I smile at them. Not a fake smile, but forced. I don't enjoy being the black sheep.

     "Oh my god this is going to be so fun!" Josie laughs. I smile at them and walk ahead as they enthuse about our class.

     Gym always sucks. I have never been too athletic, while they both have played softball since they were 4. That's why they're such good friends, they grew up together. I, on the other hand, was brought into the picture in fifth grade. It was our graduation when they first conversed with me. I sat next to them during the ceremony and we talked the whole time. From there on we were always together. Like the three musketeers. As soon as high school hit, things changed. I don't know why or how, but they became more distant. However, I know they love me and I love them. I'm just not like them. I'm different.

     I get into the gym and head to the locker room to change. I packed a pair of basketball shorts that were Sam's and a tank top with my sports bra. I'm the first out onto the bleachers of the whole class.

Two classes attend the gym at once. The weightlifting class and the general health class, which is my class. The weightlifting jocks always annoy the whole gym. They bang around their weights and stare at our asses when we stretch. Very annoying.

"Good to see you Miss Golbach." Coach Sparks tell me. "Yeah, back for another year." I sigh.

I sit on the top of the bleachers and put my book bag next to me. I look down at my phone as I wait for the bell to ring. I feel someone sit next to me. I look over and see Colby smiling. "Hey partner." He tells me.

I look around, "Why are you here?" I ask him.

He laughs, "They didn't give me my second health class so I'm stuck with the kids this semester."

I smile and nod, "Of course, just my luck." I mumble.

"Hey, I'll be your sit up partner if you want. Im sure they," he glances down at my friends, "have already chose each other."

I look down. I see them laughing amongst themselves and others. My lips press together in a slight frown. He's right, I would rather stick with him then anybody else. It's either him, Chad the creep, Terra the nose picker, or the coach himself. "Okay." I sigh, "but please, don't try to make me feel like shit because I can't do push-ups." I laugh.

"I would never, ever, disrespect a pretty girl like you." He smiles. I feel my cheeks heat up, I laugh to avoid awkwardness.

Never in a million years would I think my heart would skip a beat for Colby Brock, but here I am, getting nervous.

~~~~~~~~~

AN/ ALRIGHT GUYS! Time for new book. Should I publish?

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