Chapter 3: 5 Stages of Grief

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There's five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Right now I'm stuck between denial and anger.

"Why?! Why would he even think that's okay?! Our bodies are temples! They're not some stupid play toy for men. God I hate him!" I yell while pacing around my room. Madeline watches me as she cringes. "Amara, look he's just a boy. Virginity is literally just a term society uses to showcase a women's 'purity.' You're more than that."

"I don't believe it. I just can't believe that someone would be such a jerk." I huff and sit on my bed. "He's such a dick."

"I agree, which is why you need to forget him. He's just some douchebag kid. Will he matter in two years?" I look at her, "no." I sigh. "Then don't even waste two minutes on him." I nod my head. "But maybe if I just call him-" "NO!" She yells and grabs my phone as I go to pick it up. "You are not calling him, you are not looking at him, you are not thinking about him."

I roll my eyes and face my tv, turning it on. "I should of knew he was like that when he was acting so dominant. It's like he didn't even care it was my first time."

"Was it at least good?" She laughs. I blush, "Very."

***

I walk down my stairs where my dad and mom are watching tv with my younger sister, Rya. Rya and I don't get along that well so we keep our distance. We're really close in age, I'm 17 while she's 15.

I sit down on the recliner next to them. "Your friend left?" Rya asks. I nod my head.

"What are we eating tonight?" I ask mom. "I'm cooking some lasagna. Do you want to help?" She gets up and start heading to the kitchen, I follow her.

"So how's school going?" She asks while getting out the dishes. I reach into my fridge and grab dome of the ingredients. "Good, my classes are easy. I don't have any with Madeline though which sucks."

"Wow that's the first time in years that you two didn't have a class together. Do you know anybody else in any of your classes?" She asks.

"No, I don't really have friends. You know that, mom." I look at her and she smiles.

Making friends has always been hard from me. I've never been interested in anybody. Plus, everyone in my school already had their cliques. I've never actually fit in with anyone. Madeline has always been a social girl, but she's the same way. We both rather keep to each other. Now, I know first hand how stupid it is to actually try to be friendly with someone.

"Any boys?" She asks excitedly.

"No," I say quickly. "No friend equals no boys." I recover from my lie.

"Well, you always have college to meet someone." She sighs.

I don't have hope that I'll ever meet anybody. Maybe I should just be by myself. I'm 17 and the only boy that's ever been interested is Colby, and he was only interested in my vagina. Now I've lost all hope in finding "the one."

I finish helping my mom with dinner, when it's done cooking we all sit down to eat.

"Rya, have you met anyone knew? Since you're in high school." I smile and take a bite of my food.

"Um, no just the usual. Cassie and Lily. I wouldn't say I've made friends but I have made acquaintances." She says smiling at her food.

I definitely know that look.

***

I walk into my room and lay on my bed, facing my tv. I turn on a YouTube video, one recently posted by NikkiTutorials. I listen as I play on my phone. This is usually what I do when I finish my night routine.

"Hey," Rya says as she walks into my room. She shuts the door behind her and sits down beside me. "Hey." I smile.

"So I heard you sneak out last weekend." She laughs. I roll my eyes and plop my face on my bed. "Please don't say anything." I frown at her. She laughs and shakes her head, "Of course I won't. I just want to know why you didn't come back until the morning." She smirks.

I bite my lip and sit up. "Don't say anything, at all." I tell her. She nods her head smiling at me, "Tell me."

"Okay I may or may not have spent the night with a boy." I blush. I shouldn't be blushing, he's a dick anyways.

She opens her mouth in shock, "You didn't?" She laughs. "I did," I bite my lip again. "Well tell me who." She laughs and hits my arm.

This was the most conversation I've had with her in a while, and it felt good.

"Colby Brock. But, he's long gone now." I look at my hands. "He said to pretend like it never happened, so I am." I shrug.

Rya rolls her eyes, "If it was up to me, I would kick his ass."

I laugh and hug her. "It sucks. Never let a boy use you, Rya. Seriously, you're more than a pretty face."

"I know." She smiles. "I'm not really into boys though."

"You're not?" I raise my eyebrows.

"But girls on the other hand," she bites her lip and laughs.

"I knew it!" I laugh. "So who is it?" I ask her.

"I mean it's really nobody at the moment. I've been keeping my eyes on both sides of the road though."

"Well, I'm happy you're comfortable with yourself now. I love you." I hug her tightly. I'm sure it was hard for her to tell me.

"I love you too."

The Bad Boy's Baby • Colby BrockWhere stories live. Discover now