The Bad Boy's Baby • Colby Brock

Chapter 42: Healing

-Amara-

I open my eyes to Colby sitting beside me. He holds my hand, almost like he's praying over me.

"Colby?" I whisper. His head shoots up, I can tell he's been crying. He stands up and hugs me, I can hear him cry.

"Thank god, I was scared." He says. His voice is raspy and dry.

I groan and he lets go. It didn't work. Of course it didn't work. Now they probably all think I'm crazy.

"I'm sorry, Colby." I tell him as I look up at him. He shakes his head, "Don't apologize, don't ever apologize." He kisses my head.

"What happened?" I ask him.

"You," he stiffens, "You didn't take enough to kill yourself. You almost did, but you didn't. I found you after Cain woke me up."

I shut my eyes, moving my head away from him. I just wanted all of this to end. Why didn't it work?

"You miscarried, Amara." He sighs and grabs my hand again.

I stare at the ceiling. I should be sad. I should be devastated that I lost the baby. But, I'm not. I don't care. I sound horrible. I sound like a terrible person, but I don't care. I didn't want to bring the baby into this world anyways. That was the whole point of this.

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" He asks suddenly.

"No, no. Do you know when I can get out of here?" I ask him with my eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't know, Amara. They're talking about a psych evaluation, antidepressant, and they have to monitor your health. I don't know when it'll be."

I roll my eyes. All I need is to go home.

My door opens. A doctor walks in with a couple nurses. "Good afternoon!" He cheers. I cringe at the enthusiasm. "How are you?" He asks me.

"I'm fine, just ready to leave." I tell him, tapping my finger restlessly.

"Okay, well, it may be a while for that. We're going to have a psychiatrist come talk to you before talking about discharging. Your vitals look amazing and if cleared, you'll be able to go home tomorrow. Now, we do have a few concerns. First, I'm sorry but because of the drugs from the pills, you had a miscarriage. You may experience some pain and bleeding for the next couple of weeks. Again, we do have a psychiatrist coming who you can talk to." He looks at me with concerning eyes. I feel so heartless not feeling sad or upset about losing the baby. "If you feel like you need it, we can prescribe some pain medication that will help relieve that uncomfortableness. Lastly, we need to know what your plan is regarding your mental heath issues."

I look at Colby. There is no plan. I should be gone right now.

"It was a mistake. I wasn't in the right mind." I tell him. He pressed his lips together and nods.

"Alright, well have the psychiatrist come down to talk. Until then you're free to have some visitors if you'd like." He tells me. I nod and wave goodbye to him as he leaves.

"Do you want me to go get them?" Colby asks.

"Who's all out there?"

"Cain, your family, Sam and Kat and Maddie. They all came." He stands up. I sigh and nod.

He starts to leave, "wait," I stop him, "Can you just bring Cain back here? I need to see him." He nods.

When he leaves the room I take a deep breath. This is going to follow me until my actual grave. I'm never going to be looked at the same again.

I can't believe I was so stupid. If I didn't want the baby, I should of just had an abortion. Not try to overdose. I would of left Cain without a mom. I would of ruined everyone's lives if I killed myself. It was a huge mistake.