After sex cigarettes // dreamwastaken

XXVI

I wake up to the feeling of circles being drawn on my arm.
"Happy birthday" I mumble and in response I get a sloppy kiss on my neck "Clay," I shrug him off "remember we made a deal?"
"But what happened last night?"
"It's your birthday, and I was being stupid" he sighs in defeat before leaving my side to have a shower. It was a stupid thing I shouldn't have done it was a mistake, I can't believe How foolish I am. After he comes out the shower I give him an awkward side hug and head off to organize the party.

banners cling to the door frames, streamers trick down from random parts of the ceiling, all types of alcohol scatters the counters, stacks of solo cups placed everywhere.

By 8:30 people start piling in. I see Thomas and his friend, Sid or something, sitting on the settee.
"Thomas" he straightens up
"Lara" he pulls me into a hug "you look hot" he looks over a strappy black dress I wear.
"You don't look so bad either" I rub my hand up his arm, he's got a black collared shirt and jeans on. "Have you got a drink?" He lifts his beer can
"Yeah, have you gotten one?" I shake my head
"I was on my way actually"
"I'll come with" he walks with me to the counter, I poor myself a vodka coke. "You have a nice place"
"Thank you, I share it with my room mate, erm, she should be around here somewhere." If the gods spoke Ena, Nick and clay walk through the door. "Here she is. See the one with the streaks" they've become faded and have fallen down from her roots
"Oh she's cute"
"Yeah that's her boyfriend" I point to nick "and that's the birthday boy" I leave him and go to give clay a big hug, he lifts me off my feet "happy birthday" I kiss his earlobe.

After a few beers an argument breaks out between Thomas and clay.
"What the fuck dude?"
"Bro, you came to my birthday, these are my friends, don't come in here saying all that shit" clay shoves Thomas
"It seems like your girlfriend isn't going to be yours for long, she invited me. She obviously doesn't like you" Thomas shoves clay
"Clay, cut it out" Taylor scolds, why's she getting involved, she doesn't know clay. Then I remember the last party, they got off and I have an awful feeling history has repeated itself.
"What you've got another girl" Thomas scoffs "you let her go so why can't I have her?"
"Just back off bro, I have no 'girls'" Taylor looks hurt. I stumble over
"Woah, how about we all just shut up, it's a party. Clays like 30, just enjoy it" I roll my eyes and walk away.

Nicks on the balcony smoking,
"Nick you need to calm down your boyfriend"
"Uggh, what's he done now?" He moans
"He's starting on my guest." I take the spliff from his hand and take a drag "like it's just not needed" the feeling of floating washes over me all at once "what a Lovley man though, like he'll make such a good dad" I flip my legs over the arm of the chair "like I want him to be my dad" Nick giggles
"Yoooo! I mean if that's what you're into!"
"I mean to my kids dummy" his face softens
"So you miss him?" I nod
"A lot" I take another toke "a lot a lot"  we sit in silence for a while until the joint is finished.

Im sure I doze off for a little while because when I gain consciousness the city is more subdued, inside the music is still pounding through my head.

Walking into the flat I see Taylor sat on the counter top and clay in between her legs, it makes my heart pinch. I don't know if I should ask for him to have me back, he looks happy there with Taylor probably whispering sweet nothings into each other's ear but I want to be selfish, I want him to still want me.

"Hey Taylor, is it okay if I borrow clay? I have to give him his birthday presents?" She scowls at me
"Didn't you already give them me?" This prat is too drunk to understand what I'm doing
"Not all of them yet, I got you a book" her eyes squint even more
"Whatever" he removes himself from her legs and follows behind me

"So how's it going with Taylor?" He sprawls across my bed, I perch on the edge
"Shit i thought her name was Ashley"
"Nope." I pop the p "so do you like her?"
"Not really, she was coming onto me"
"So you're not interested in anyone?" He shake his head "oh". I take a deep breath, If this goes horribly wrong I can blame it on being high "I know I shouldn't ask you this but..." I'm too nervous to ask him, my breath becomes uneven and rapid
"Larz calm down, talk to me" he pulls me into his arms and strokes my hair, we sit like this until my breathing stabilizes
"I miss you"
"I'm right here dummy" he giggles
"Okay im going to ask you something now?"
"Okay?"
"Will you have me back?"
"What do you mean "have you back"?" He mimics my accent
"Like take me back"
"Where? We're at your house?" This is when I realise how drunk he really is
"No you dummy! Like as a friend that's more then friends?"
"You want more of this?" He motion up and down his body, I can feel my face turn pink "Are you asking if I'll be your boyfriend" I hold my head in my hands and nod
"Please?" He pulls me in once more for a hug before leaving me alone in my room

The noise starts to fade as does the noise of people.
"Everyones gone" he sort of bounces onto the bed "so you were asking me to be your boyfriend?" I think the nap I had earlier has sobered me up a lot.
"Nope. Changed my mind"
"Oh shut up" he holds me tight, one hand wrapped around my shoulders the other my lower torso
"Clay I can't breath"
"Good" he squeezes my bum
"Will you forgive me?"
"You know I will."
"Will you take me back please"
"I've been waiting for you" I kiss his Adam's apple "I missed you" he kisses the top of my head.

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Posted 26/11/21
             12:51