Of the Forest and Sea

Chapter 26

When I woke up, I was in bed. My own bed. Where I had been for days before yesterday. I don’t remember most of last night. I was too exhausted to care. But Maria…She found me. She saved me. Just like she promised. How could I hate her? I couldn’t even be mad at her. She meant so much to me, how could I have ever hated her in the first place?

“Robin? Good. You’re awake. Explain.” I sat up and looked around my room. 

I couldn’t speak still. I inhaled to try and fell into a coughing fit.

“Drink.” A large hand handed me a cup, and I sipped on it slowly. It was warm. Warm like she was… My throat felt a little better, so I tried again.

“I went for a walk,” I mumbled. My tongue felt heavy, and my throat still hurt.

“I’ve heard that one before. So, you ran away? Just like your bloody sister.”

“It wasn’t like that, father.”

“Bastard child. You have been getting better at getting yourself into impossible situations.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s in her own room. She’ll come see you when she’d ready.”

“Father I need to see her.” Stop talking. You’re making yourself worse.

“You can wait. At least until you’ve stopped coughing.” He left me alone in the room, and I sat up more, leaning against my bedframe. It didn’t take another moment for Maria to come bursting through my door, running over to me, almost jumping on top of me.

“How could you? You had me worried sick! I was out all morning searching for you. Uncle didn’t let me go last night.”

“You should have never come looking for me.”

“I promised you I would.” I slipped my hand behind her neck and pulled her in quickly.

“Robin,” she murmured against my lips.

“Say my name again, please.”

“Robin…” This time she whispered it, sending chills down my spine.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Make me forget.” I kissed her nose, and she gripped my shirt collar to pull me in more. She wanted to kiss me all over, and I wanted to let her.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again. Don’t make me think you’re leaving me.” I pulled back from her and stared.

“I felt like I lost you.” I watched her expression fall, and her eyes started to get glassy.

“I’m sorry…” I could feel the lump in my throat. I was hurt. She left me for days then begs me not to leave her… She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly, forcing me to stifle the coughing fit she sent me in to. When she pulled away, I fell back into bed, trying to ease my fit.
I closed my eyes as I laid there, my entire body exhausted. Her hand cupped my face, and I leaned into her, smiling weakly. I turned away from her and stuffed my face into a pillow. Don’t you dare let her see you cry.

“Robin? Are you okay?” Her hand followed my spine, rubbing over my back lightly. I couldn’t contain my shaky breaths, and she paused to feel them. “What’s wrong?”

“Maria, I think you should give him time to rest,” I could hear Brayen’s voice behind me, “He was out there all night.”

I felt her leave my bed, and I waited a few more seconds. Did I want to scream? Did I want to cry? Maybe both. Pathetic.

I sucked in a breath and screamed into my pillow. My throat burned afterwards but it felt so good to let everything out.

“Robin?” I rolled over onto my back and looked up at the end of my bed. Maria stood there, clutching her hands together over her chest. I don’t think she’s ever seen me so emotional before. I sat up fully and rubbed my face clear of tears.

“I’m sorry.”

“You have to tell me what’s wrong, please. I can’t bear to see you like this, let alone how I found you. What were you doing at the amphitheater?”

“Come sit with me, and I’ll tell you.” She rushed over to my bed and crawled in next to me, sitting on her knees expectantly.

“What happened? That’s all any of us want to know.”

“What happened with me? You were the one who didn’t want to see me for days. How do you think I felt?”

“Were you going to jump?”

I hesitated. Why did you hesitate? That was the dumbest thing you could have done. I couldn’t even look at her, I didn’t want to see how heartbroken she was.

“You left. No explanation, no warning, and you didn’t even want to see me. I had Brayen try to talk to you, and you pushed him away too. I just don’t get it.”

“It’s complicated. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Was it your uncle?”

“No, it wasn’t him. It was your sister.”

“My sister? Is she okay?” Panic struck me faster than I intended it to.

“She’s fine. I’m so sorry I didn’t see you. There’s a lot that happened and I wasn’t sure how to tell you and I was all over the place and then your comment about running away and I got scared and-.”

“Stop rambling, princess.” She froze and went quiet. “I just really wanted to know why you didn’t want to see me.”

Maria stayed quiet and wouldn’t look at me. “I told you…a lot happened.”

“That doesn’t explain why your doorman told me you didn’t want to see me.”

“He’s not a doorman.”

“Maria.”

“Robin, sometimes there are times we do things, and we don’t know why we did it…this just happens to be one of those times…”

I took a short breath, “Fine. Then tell me what’s going on with my sister.”

“It’s not for me to tell. Yet.”

“I’m glad everyone else seems to know except for me.”

“Loveday asked me to not say anything. She wants to tell you.” I gave a quick okay and she sighed. “I’m sorry, Robin. I truly am.”

“Do you want to know what I thought about while I was out there last night? I sat on the edge, wondering why you didn’t want to see me. I didn’t know why I was being pushed away. And I wondered what would happen if-.”

“Don’t you dare say it.”

“It’s the truth. What else would you like to hear?”

“What made you back away?”

“I didn’t feel strong enough to catch myself if I started to fall.” She was disappointed. I could see it, but also…relieved? Maybe because I was alive.

“Robin, promise me you’ll never do that again.”

“I can’t.”

“Why can’t you?”

“Because I didn’t choose where I went. I went for a walk to get my mind off of things. I wanted to go to the hideout. Take some time for myself. I didn’t want to end up there. I just started walking and when I started to pay attention, I realized I was at the cliffs.”

Maria and I stayed in my room for the remainder of the day, just talking about everything. I didn’t ask her if she wanted to run away. I wanted to, but I had a feeling that my question was the reason she didn’t want to see me. Whatever happened with my sister only pushed her further away from me.