Crow of Flame

Chapter 32

I couldn't bare to be touched by anyone. Not Ambrose, not Obi or Lynx when they came into my room. I couldn't meet Orions gaze, I could hardly stand to be in the presence of anyone. I felt violated and used and useless. I felt like my body didn't belong to me anymore. No matter the words I'd spoken to Poseidon, no matter the threats I'd made, I felt like I was floating in the worst way.

People were in my room. I knew they were, but I was curled up in the hearth of my fireplace. The purple etherial flames blocked the sounds of the words leaving the mouths of people who don't know what to do or say to help me. I sat and watched the flames dance around my fingers. When we had gotten back to my room the world seemed a blur. I was so tired. I finally felt hungry but I threw up what I tried to eat.

There were people filing into my room within minutes of my return, Eboni had spectacled away to give me time and space. Ares dashed for me, and flinched when I shied away from his touch. I had curled into a ball and cried. I cried for hours. I couldn't stand for anyone to tap me or to be near me. Ambrose got everyone to leave my room for a while and that was when I'd crawled into the flames.

I don't know how long I'd been in there before people walked into my room. At first I could hear their voices, I could see their faces etched in fire, I could feel their worry. Then I asked the flames to cut me off. I asked them to let me be alone, and they did. They obliged me with warmth and comfort. They didn't replay the memories of Poseidon, and they didn't remind me of how his hands... touched me. They were a safety blanket my own space where—

They turned orange. What the fuck? I didn't look out of the hearth, I only felt someone enter. I was curled up with my knees by my chest against the wall. My gaze was focused on my hands. I focused on how the flames danced and moved, constantly breathing and living. I didn't think about how Poseidon held my hand.

A voice drew me out of my thought, "is it alright if I sit with you?"

It was Hades. He had crawled in the flames, probably as a last effort to figure out why I was catatonic. "That's fine, I don't really want to be touched though," I nearly whispered.

I know the flames blocked out the sound. No one could hear what we were saying. "Should I bring Ambrose in?" He asked. "I mean, the flames are cool... if you wanted to talk to someone... I'm glad to listen, but if you want someone else... I mean, if I've screwed up..."

I looked into his green eyes and I couldn't fight the tears that slid down my cheeks. I shook my head, "I don't want Ambrose to know." I whispered.

Hades looked at me with genuine sincerity. "Know what?"

I couldn't hold his gaze as a sob tore from my throat. "Know what... he did to me... What I had to let him do..."

"What did he do, Sapphire? I won't tell, but I'll help if I can." He was sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees and is knees brought to his chest. And he rested his head on his arms so casually.

"He... he touched me, and I knew I didn't want it... I knew I didn't want to be touched. Not by him. Not like that... but I couldn't stop it." I blurted out, my words were racing by. The wall of flames at the hearth grew thicker. No one can know what is being said. I sobbed again. "He kissed me and he..." I met Hades' gaze. "Hades, he..." I looked back to the ground and closed my eyes.

"Sapphire, I am going to ask you once, you don't need to speak, nod or shake your head. Alright?" I nodded, I didn't open my eyes. "Did he have sex with you while you were under the curse of the blood bond?" I shook my head no. He released a breath that sounded like relief. "Great universe, did he touch you in other ways?"

I nodded and another sob tore from my throat, and I couldn't stop the tears from falling. "I don't think I can say what he did out loud..." I could barely speak.