Music songs // ENDED UNFINISHED

Twelve

This part is written by me.

{Time stands still,

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything 

..take away,

what's standing in front of me

Every breath

Every hour has come to this}

Do you know how it feels like to have dreams or nightmares? Something deep within you always knows it’s not real, that it is a dream, but it always feels real. Every single thing feels real. Nightmares are supposed to warn you, for what’s going to happen. Dreams are supposed to give you the courage to fight for whatever is yet to come in the future. When we awake from the dream, everything is still fresh and clear. The weirdest thing about dreams is that you’ve forgotten them a minute later. If you’re lucky, you still remember parts of your dream, but not the whole thing. Let’s go back to the first thing, about having a feeling a dream is real. As Jordan watched himself, or someone that looked like him, it felt real. He knew it was probably just a reflection of his inner self, what he felt deep down, but he wasn’t possible to shake the feeling of it to be reality. The boy he was watching had the same green eyes, the same brown hair, but everything else was just... not him. Dark wings were flattering around him, covered in something red. Jordan guessed it could possibly be blood. If not, something wanted him to think it was. Everything lead to it: the smirk on the boy’s face, but yet a feeling of sorrow, pain in his eyes. Some kind of sadness Jordan couldn’t quite place in a situation he’d ever felt before. The dark angel, that’s how Jordan decided to name this alter-ego-reflection of his, walked forward. He looked around the room like he was searching for something. After the boy searched the whole room for whatever he was looking for, he sighed and sat down on the chair. Taking a piece of paper, Jordan’s alter-ego started to draw. Jordan watched as the most horrible drawing ever was drawn. Jordan, or at least some freaked out version of him, was placing his hand on Ambers heart in the drawing. Amber looked quite similar to how she always looked, except more like... an angel. Jordan always had a feeling toward Amber that made him think about her with white wings on her back, but he had never seen her the way she looked like at the drawing. After her smile, which was the only thing Jordan based himself on, came the eyes. In her eyes were fear. Hope and fear. The angel-version of Amber was definitely afraid of the demon-version of Jordan, but had still hope that somehow he could turn back to how he was. That somehow he wouldn’t hurt her, he wouldn’t... kill, or so did Jordan suppose the drawing was about, her. Just like it was a movie, the dream zoomed in on the drawing, and the drawing became reality. Jordan watched as the evil version of him said he’d kill her. Jordan could notice that there were absolutely no emotions involved, only empty hate. Hate for Amber. Jordan didn’t want to watch, but that’s the thing with dreams: you can’t stop them, they stop on bad moments. He watched how the boy placed his hand upon Ambers chest, when a white fog appeared in front of his eyes. And in that moment, everything turned white in the dream, and Jordan woke up. Just like every dream and nightmare he had ever had, even though he couldn’t quite compare this one to others, it ended when he wanted to see what was coming next. The white fog had something nice and lovely, it was like everything bad of this reflection of his turned good. Yet, he could’ve figured out that his dream was going to stop right here. Jordan ended up all sweaty and feeling traces of tears on his face, but couldn’t remember all of his dream. He sighed, mumbled that ‘it was only a dream’ and walked toward the shower.

Jordan never got why Amber always took so long showering and picking her clothes, while he was under the shower for at least five minutes and got dressed in another five minutes. As he was done dressing, he walked back to his room. He opened his curtains and window to let some oxygen in the room, switched off the light and cleaned the little mess that was forming in his room. Looking to his calendar, he realized it was his birthday today. That he was actually sixteen at the moment. But more important, he realized that today was going to be a whole messed up busy day. He remembered Amber had told him the real thing was only starting in the afternoon, but whatever Amber described as ‘a relaxed morning, just the two of us’, turned out to be a morning being annoyed by the overactive and happy Amber. It was not that he regret being friends with her and hated how she acted, he didn’t, but sometimes he felt like he needed a break from her. He knew that it was something he would never get, and he was fine with that too. His feelings towards her were just... complicated. In all those years, they always stuck together. Of course, Jordan could be annoyed of her and he wouldn’t even doubt of one second that even the Amber that was fine with everything thought that. But whenever discussions got too serious for them, they joked about the dumbest things and turned it into a nice conversation. It was just something between them, it was just like them. Something that only they had in comment. His friendship with Amber was way stronger than his friendship with others would always be.

Jordan smiled, being happy about how descent his room turned out, and walked his way downstairs, where his parents and sisters were already waiting. “Jordannnnnnnn, birthdayyyyy!” Suzy, Jordan’s six year old sister, jumped upon him. “Suus, you’re crushing me,” he muttered, trying to sound as if he were dying as the little girl let go of him. He smiled at Simone, his twelve year old sister. “Happy birthday,” she said shyly as she gave him a small hug. His parents were next. His father just smiled at him and wished him a happy birthday, where his mother was more enthusiastic. “So, Jordan, you’re turning into a big man right now, heh?” Jordan smiled while hearing his mother’s happy voice. “No mom, that’s in two years... You can say the same thing then.” He looked around him, being shocked by the fact Amber didn’t arrive yet. “I’m going to check facebook,” he whispered, “call me if Amber is here.” It might seem quite asocial that Jordan didn’t spend more time with his family on his birthday, but he wasn’t quite of a family-person. Sure, he loved his parents and they loved him, but the only thing that really mattered to him was Amber. If he would lose his family, he’d be sad, but losing Amber... It would make him totally broken. “What am I thinking about, it’s my birthday,” Jordan muttered to himself and got himself upstairs, starting his laptop and looking at the birthday-wishes on facebook, liking every single post from the people he knew from school to family-members to friends. He smiled while looking at the screen, realizing he was probably one of the most happiest persons existing on Earth.