Different Indifferents

You can't leave me

She was right but that dream had made me terrified and also my BPD Episode worse. I went to the restroom to wash my face and I saw myself in the mirror. I looked terrible but it was not because of crying. It was because it was written all over my face that I just had a panic attack. 

I stayed in the restroom for a while and tried to take long breaths to calming me down. That dream was indeed the worst dream I've ever had.   After a while, I went out and I saw that my mom was still sitting there. She asked me if I was okay by then. I gave her a nod and she was at peace. She left to cook dinner. I was not feeling well because none of my episode had lasted so long . I decided to hear some music to change the mood and then I brought my phone and played music , plugged earplugs and laid down on my bed . I didn't realize when I fell asleep but it was a great nap of around an hour . When I woke up , I saw that the dinner was already ready and mom was waiting for me and I was also fine by now. I called her.

She looked at me and smiled ," So , you are awake now , how did you sleep ? Let's have dinner now ?" 

I asked mom , " Mom, when you knew it was time for dinner, why didn't you wake me up or at least you could eat without me ?" She smiled at me and said that she didn't feel like eating alone or waking her deep sleep either. 

Then , we ate dinner together because Diego was already done with his dinner and dad was out for some days on his business trip. And then, I went in to do my homework . The next day , I went to school and it was usual . After school , I went to library to look, for some novels as I didn't want to repeat what happened in my dream. And it was all fine now.

10 MONTHS LATER

I was now in my final year of school. We all passed with pretty decent grades and Finn and I were bestfriends and a twist came when Finn told me that he and Lucia were dating. At first, I was surprised but I was happy for them. We were going to have holidays for about 10 days before the semester started.

I went home and finally got to know that we were going on a vacation to Westerland Beach for a week. Me, mom and dad were going, we tried to take Diego too but he was too excited for his farewell parties and friends meets since they were going to graduate in about a month, so he refused to come.

We got into the car early morning and were driving. I was so damn excited because I had never been on a beach before and as there is a saying in German,

"Wir sind besessen von dingen, die wir nicht besitzen" which means we are obsessed with things that we don't have. The same goes for me, I was super obsessed with travelling because I never actually went on any trip before and here I was, going with my family and having the best day of my life.

In the evening, we reached the hotel and checked into two rooms, my room was B444 and my parents room was b445. Mom and Dad told me to get fresh since we were dining out and told me to meet in the lobby at 8. I nodded and went into my room.

It was huge and beautiful and the bed was super comfy. I took a quick shower and was ready but I still had two hours to go down. So, I decided to go for a little nap and little did I know that I forgot to set the alarm. And just like that I went to my dreamland.

My sleep was disrupted when I started to hear noises everywhere. I slowly opened my eyes and noticed that something was weird now, the objects were moving and there were screaming of people everywhere. I looked at the time and it was 8.15.

Shit!!! I am late.

And I thought I was having another BPD episode so, I thought it was all in my head. I quickly wore my shoes and opened the door.

I mind froze and my feet sprinted towards my parent's room. It was an earthquake and the other half of the building had collapsed and our side was shaking as if it could go down at any moment. There were screams everywhere. I rushed to my parents room and there door was open. Their room had a huge crack in the middle extending it to the wall and blocking all the ways to go to the door. My parents were there at the corner, worried like hell.

They saw me and a sense of relief came over their faces which was probably because I was safe until now. But again, a terror surrounded their face and they shouted," Go Anna, run towards the exit. Go now, for our sake. Please".

I started to walk towards them and they shouted at me and at that moment the the whole building went down.

I opened my eyes, I was in pain. There was huge piece was wall at my right foot twisting and breaking my ankle. The memories quickly flooded back. I looked around and the only thing I could see was people screaming, blood and dead. 

I quickly pulled my foot out the piece, thankfully only it's corner was on my foot. But, that pained like hell. I was covered in blood but the only thought I was having was MOM and DAD.

I started to crawl in pain but what more painful was that I could not find them until my eyes stopped at a huge piece of wall. I rushed there and I was devastated.

" NO MOM, NOOO. YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO HAVE DINNER THEN GOING ON THE BEACH. YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME. YOU CAN'T LEAVE DIEGO.  MOM, DAD YOU CAN'T LEAVE US.

I PROMISE, I PRR...PROMISE ........I WILL...BE A GOO...GOOD GIRL AND I WILL LISTEN TO EVERYWORD YOU SAY. I WILL NEVER....NEVR BE LATE. PLEASE DON......DON'T LEAVE ME.....I AM ....BEGG....BEGGING YOU...PLEASE THUS ONCE....PLEASE LISTEN TO ME......"

I was holding her hand which was covered in blood and on the other side were dad, lifeless. I cracked into tears. Begging them to come back until something fell and I remember nothing after that.