The Irish's Sanity

Chapter Eight.

...

I shivered looking at the blurry sky with tears in my eyes. I had to hand it to myself I was acting better than I expected. It was now getting dark yet I was still at this coffee spot. I've been up since 5 a.m hoping to find a solution, asking myself the same questions over and over again. I felt at some point I was at the brink of losing my mind.

I took a shower in the morning and stayed in my gown the entire day, after my long mid-day bath I decided to slip into one of my favourite dresses and decided some fresh air would be nice and was much needed. I thought that maybe wearing the dress would make things better. It didn't but it was worth a shot. Plus I decided I didn't know how long I had so I would wear all of them at any chance I got. It was a simple dark blue cowl satin dress that ended at just above my knees.

It was getting quite chilly, I could see my hard nipples as the wind brushed against my skin. I really liked this dress I felt so comfortable and free in it but It was starting to get dark and I needed to go back to my apartment. The whole time I had sat here my mind was on him. I couldn't help it. The whole reason I left my apartment was for fresh air and to refrain from thinking of him but I had miserably failed.

After failing at coming up with solutions as to how to escape him I started to think of ideas to make him lose interest but I didn't understand why he was after me, why he was so messed up - I was just a simple writer trying to live her not so complicated life. I wasn't even involved in the Mafia world. Before this the only mafia works I knew of was the one in my books. I was a very simple w-person - woman.

-My favourite TV show was The Amazing world of Gumball for crying out loud, I didn't take myself as a serious grown woman. That was my sister. I needed to be very careful. My chest was heavy and my mind was a rakus. I just didn't understand how anyone could do this to another human being. How can one just get to claim a person.

You can't just tell them they belong to you and you don't care even ask how they feel about that. The police didn't acknowledge me after seeing his presence. I held back a sob as I looked at the sky. I could feel the wetness of my tears slide down my chest wetting my dress. I was terrified. That memory kept on replying in my head over and over again. I think it was out of question. Lachlan is above the law, it clearly doesn't apply to him.

I had already suspected it but seeing it unfold before my eyes was something else. I couldn't get rid of this fear at the pits of my stomach. I didn't know his next move but I knew he wouldn't leave me alone. I slowly rolled my arm, it was definitely better than this morning. I wiped my tears, I seriously needed to stop crying before I ruined my dress. I wish it was as easy as that. Everytime I thought of him I just got overwhelmed with fear. I've never been in a situation like this before aside from the situation, not knowing what to do was frustrating.

I didn't know how long I've been here but I knew hours have quickly went by. I liked coming out here to think. Anele introduced me to this amazing coffee spot and ever since I got here whenever I needed to think I came here, I've been sitting on one of the tables just outside the shop. Even though this was a thinking space for me I also came here for the amazing pastries. I was going to miss this place when I went home.

The fact that I passed out yesterday didn't rattle me I had bigger problems. I slowly brushed my hand against the chain immediately sending shivers down my spine. I held back the tears that stung the back of my eyes. I've never thought anyone would be capable of making me feel this kind of fear. The thought of Serenity always changed how I felt but not this time. This time I felt- knew that no one could help me. And that was the hardest pill I had to swallow.

I felt very homesick. I wanted to go home now more than ever. I somehow felt I would be safe at home even though I knew better. Maybe that's exactly what I needed, home soil. But right now I didn't think that that was possible. I just wanted to run away and hide. I didn't want to learn more about Lachlan, I knew I wouldn't like what I would learn. Actually I was sure I wouldn't like it and I would just be more terrified of him.